Shuttles & Corvettes

Why gank shuttles and corvettes?

Well, it can encourage communication…

Let’s see what this miner had to say!

Please continue…

Indeed!

Is spite autopiloting a thing?

Apparently so!

This miner needs a space attorney.

Imagine losing your spaceship for a sandwich…

Here is the full text for Google SEO!

Your Recent Loss
From: Aaaarrgg
Sent: 2026.03.02 19:41
To: Cassy Fonulique,

Dear Cassy Fonulique

This notice is to recap the recent interaction you had with The New Order of High Sec’s agent(s) and/or knights Colelie is a solar sytem under the control of The New Order of High Sec, and as such falls under the jurisdiction of The New Halaim a Code of Conduct

Please reread up on the Code and your responsibilities in our Sovereign space http://www.minerbumping.com/p/the-code.html .

The Law of Highsec has also been simplified for your convenience here LawsOfHighsec , clause 2:D and 2:E for reference

At approximately 13:37 An Agent of the New Order of Highsec entered the space you were flying in. Upon further inspection we observed that you were autopiloting and or loitering afk both of which are illegal in James 315’s Sovereign space.

Due to your criminal actions we authorized a strike/s against your vessel/s

Kill: Cassy Fonulique (Velator) Kill: Cassy Fonulique (Capsule)

Please be reminded for the future that mining and/or any PVE activity in New Order space can be done by obtaining a New Order Mining Permit for 10 million ISK, good for one year, and observing the provisions of The New Halaima Code of Conduct.

If you feel your termination was in error or that proper New Order procedure was not followed by agent Aaaarrgg, you may request reimbursement by contacting James 315 The New Order’s Reimbursement Specialist, to appeal your loss. you are also allowed to contact James favourite handmaiden aiko danuja for further reimbursement chats and support .
Have a great day,

Aaaarrgg

On Behalf of Agent Aaaarrgg

Praise James 315 \o/

That’s right.

Re: Your Recent Loss
From: Cassy Fonulique
Sent: 2026.03.02 21:51
To: Aaaarrgg,

Dear Aaaarrgg,

I want to begin by saying that receiving your letter was the highlight of my day, in the same way that stepping on a Lego is the highlight of your foot.
I have read your notice carefully, consulted the CONCORD legal database, spoken with three separate Amarr lawyers, and burned some incense, and I can confirm with full scientific certainty that you own absolutely nothing. Not Colelie. Not High Sec. Not even the moral high ground, which is impressive given how low the bar is when your entire career is suicide-ganking rookie ships.

A Velator.

Let’s just sit with that for a moment.

You. A fully formed adult human being with presumably functional hands and access to the internet. Formed a fleet. Undocked. Scanned cargo. Did the math on a ship that was assembled in a factory as an afterthought. And then, with all the gravitas of a man who has made deeply questionable life choices, you shot it.

And then you sent a form letter.

I imagine James 315 himself, perched atop his throne of recycled forum posts and delusion, a single tear of pride rolling down his cheek, whispering “This is what we trained for.”

Regarding your Code: I have reviewed it. I have also reviewed my horoscope, the back of a shampoo bottle, and a fortune cookie from 2019, and I found all four documents to be equally binding on my behavior in a video game. The fortune cookie, for what it’s worth, told me to “embrace new adventures”; so I autopiloted through your system again, just now, out of spite.

You’re welcome.

The mining permit offer is a very tempting proposition and I will absolutely consider purchasing one immediately after: CCP officially updates the sovereignty map, James 315 is recognized by at least one (1) legitimate government, and Aiko Danuja sends me a handwritten apology on scented stationery for whatever that whole situation is.

I also want to address the appeals process. You’ve suggested I contact James 315’s “Reimbursement Specialist”, who is also, if I’m reading this correctly, James 315, to appeal a loss to James 315’s organization, adjudicated by James 315’s Code, in James 315’s sovereign space that James 315 declared on a blog.

I have to admire the efficiency. It’s giving very much kangaroo court, but make it space.

In closing, I would like to thank you sincerely for the free Velator that CCP will give me in approximately 45 seconds, for the killmail that I will be framing and hanging above my capsule pod as a trophy of the day I was briefly inconvenienced, and for reminding me that somewhere out there, a person woke up today, made coffee, and thought “Yes. Today I enforce the laws of a blog.”

You are doing amazing, sweetie.

\o/ Praise the Calendar Date \o/

Eternally unbothered, Cassy Fonulique CEO, Unlicensed Mining Operations LLC Proud Velator Pilot, Retired (involuntarily, briefly) Permit Status: Absolutely Not

P.S. I was AFK because I was making a sandwich. It was a great sandwich. It was worth more than my Velator. You may want to reflect on that.

Arche Dies in Amarr

He wasn’t a happy miner.

What happened?

Illegal mining is not tolerated in sacred Amarr!

This ethic has been consistent for millennia.

All miners must be extirpated (this is your warning).

Silly bears always threaten revenge.

They also try to scam us.

Firsty of, if an ignoremus doesn’t leasrn, then he gets blowonged!

Will they ever obey the law?

Some people are just out of touch with reality.

That’s right… go in flames…

xD

PLOT TWIST: He let me kill him?

CHATGPT SAYS…

Indeed.

My Name is Aiko Danuja

Welcome to my blog.

Happy New Day to You!

That’s right.

New players are mystified by the new New Order.

It’s pretty clear what we believe.

Even antigankers acknowledge my titles.

Click the link if you don’t believe me.

Weird, but true – welcome to EvE Online.

A double princess, of both ganking and antiganking.

Read my blog, and I’ll tell you what’s up.

If you don’t know who I am, I definitely explain myself.

In EvE Online, I run a serious space business.

Yes, it’s profitable.

You are advised to invest in me.

Many say that I am their heroin.

They call me the jackal wasp.

That’s right.

That’s right!

Aiko Danuja IS the Danger

Listening to: Absolute Truth Nuke

That’s right.

Absolute Order Honor Glory Plebsquad fails again (and again).

That’s right!

Double Commissar Centurion Smith has a lot to say.

So do his fellow AH fanboys.

I didn’t see that coming.

Consider me blindsided.

They are a queer lot.

These guys are intense!

Orion is was a 7th class subminer.

So I offered a little help.

He defected, but mrlee wants the miner back…

They sent their G-team to hunt me down.

Suddenly, AIKO…

This time, they learnt a lesson.

That’s right!

To be continued…

In Plain English

I’m happy to provide.

Check out these tears.

That’s right.

Even our enemies secretly admire us.

My cool clique is MEGA BIG MAD about what we did to you.

Does that make sense?

It’s too late for warnings!

I guess their time was up.

For real.

lmao

I’m crying about all that RENT FREE.

…but why did this happen to you?

That’s right!

Welcome to Highsec.

Some miners figure it out fast.

Then what?

Do you think I’ll feel sorry for you?

Ich bin die Krise.

o7 to all those who are gone!

Enjoy being a loser.

lmao

I’m not done.


Highsec Miner Grab Bag #357

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #356

EvE Online is a game that goes like this.

They compose poorly written insults, followed by threats.

Then they cry like a bitch.

There’s a lot of that.

Some miners are just plain stupid.

SIDEBAR: CTAPblu is a popular boy’s name!

It’s some sort of Soviet cult?

This is how you identify bots and bouncehackers.

Cool, now you know more about that map.

Nobody likes space taxes.

Everybody begs for special favours.

Miners are kinda crazy (and needy).

I love getting special little messages.

Sometimes I get a complaint.

I definitely care.

Cool story, bro.

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #356

Highsec Miner Grab Bag, #355

I don’t read my mail.

It’s just a lot, and I’m busy.

People report stray Orcas…

Sometimes, I hear from MiniLaw.

I like to hear from long dead miners.

I wish I had time to read it all.

Miners sure have a lot to say!

Should I respond?

What will people come up with next?

I guess they’ve had an exciting year.

Hey, maybe if you write me….

…I might even respond!

That’s right.

\o

Highsec Miner Grab Bag, #255

Highsec Miner Grab Bag, #254

TRIGGER WARNING: EvE Online

I got a lot of EvEMail.

Some miners want to pimp me out at Fanfest.

They love to share their fantasies.

There’s more where that came from.

Other miners want to apologize.

Even apologetic miners need mining permits.

Woah! Calm down…

o7 capsuleers!

That’s right.

Undock and Die

Listening to: Undock and Die

I’m gonna keep making AI music.

That means I’m a real content creator.

I’m doing very well, thank you.

That’s right.

I sure do enjoy EvE Online.

This is why we always shoot miners.

o7 capsuleers!

Dumb Witch

Men say the darnedest things.

We all enjoy this game.

Bad boys go on and on.

This is my destiny.

Some men are straight to it.

Others linger awhile.

Where did he go?

A real mystery.

I wonder if he moved next door?

Honestly, miners seem confused.

BRich, this is not a negotiation.

Richard Cranium III > wat whay

What a game.

o7 capsuleers!