You Won’t Believe (or will you?)

Only the faithful believe my incredible stories.

I’m a legend in my own time.

I’m making a difference in EvE Online.

I’ve even had some conversations.

> Oh Aiko, you are a doll.

Many like what I have to say.

I started with dogfucker Don, and then I moved on to the anti-Semite, and finally I came for the n-word users and that CODE. neo-Nazi who keeps humming Das Horst-Wessel-Lied in Teamspeak… Did you know that song is illegal?

Like I actually have to explain this.

CCP knows the truth about me.

I don’t really scam people.

It’s more of a polite request.

I just kill enemies (or befriend them).

Dreams do come true!

This antiganker know I’m fun and interesting.

A lot of people love me.

I know plebs won’t believe this.

I’m a real-life space witch.

There is a force stronger than PvP.

MANIFEST DESTINY!

My enemies admire and respect me.

I’m happy to help.

This is what the new New Order is all about!

Convert your items into killmails.

Give your stuff to Aiko Danuja.

Thanks for everything.

I often converse with the deceased.

I learned from the best.

Praise James 315! \o/

I’m gentle at the end.

Unlike griefers, I have no malicious intent.

The best thing in the galaxy is friendship with me.

I know I’m the best!

Some people can’t get enough…

He’ll be back.

THE GANKBEARS, aggrieved at having no established Executor, sent ambassadors to James 315 entreating for a King. Perceiving their aspirations, he cast down the CODE. The bears were terrified at the splash occasioned by its fall and hid themselves in the depths of Uedama. But as soon as they realized that the huge treatise was motionless, they swam again to the top of the water, dismissed their fears, climbed up, and began squatting on it in contempt. After some time they began to think themselves ill-treated in the appointment of so inert a Ruler, and sent a second deputation to James praying that he would set over them another sovereign. He then gave them Super Perforator. When the bears discovered his simple nature, they sent yet a third time, begging James to choose another. James, most displeased with all of them, unleashed a Princess who preyed upon the bears till there were none left.

Mining Blues

It’s not easy being a miner.

They have many questions.

There are no easy answers.

The truth never pleases them.

Surprise!

I like to sell them a new ship.

I guess he paid 400 million?

I wanted to make sure he got something.

Another valuable lesson advertisement.

Don’t be a miner!

=POST SCRIPT=

Malangor > I wish you all the worst … they made a deal where I paid 400 million to get my ship back … which of course didn’t happen !!!!!!!!!!!!
Malangor > i wish you all the worst in the world
Malangor > F*** UUUUU
Malangor > and i hope you break your little toe tomorrow Malangor > but we had a deal i payed today 400million today
Malangor > already send 400 million to Aiko Danuja
Malangor > and i recieve nothing
Malangor > end u destroyed my Orca with 2 Hulks
Malangor > Is that understandable for your brain
Malangor > so Do you understand now why I feel so screwed? Malangor > !
Malangor > why destroyed my orca ? hm?
Malangor > u take my Hulk
Malangor > therefore f U


How to Win a Bonus Round

Previously, we met Manolo Acosta et al.

Of course, I sent them straight to miner’s prison.

QuantumFx > Okay, let’s be clear. I have 5 characters. Manolo Acosta Mr Pitufo Don Sheldon Guillermo Romero and me

Now his alts all have bios.

This acts as a Safety talisman.

However, something was wrong.

Miners sure do ask a lot of questions…

I’m never quite sure what they expect.

I guess they want more Safety?

At first, Blackface Manolo worked as a street informant.

Meanwhile, Don proselytized in local.

Things just kept getting better and better.

One day, he reported himself.

This intel was most timely.

Thanks for the tip!

Fortunately, we were able to resolve the situation.

Mr Pitufo > i pay yesterday for 5 accounts! 750 millions
Aiko Danuja > you paid 150 + 500
Aiko Danuja > you paid 650 not 750
Mr Pitufo > oh yes yes sorry 650
Mr Pitufo > so?

That’s right.

Mr Pitufo > take 100 millions
Aiko Danuja > very well

Another miner saved!

o7

How to Sell a Mining Permit, #115625

Step 1: Meet a Miner

Step 2: Write a Citation (or Five)

Step 3: Penalties

Aiko Danuja > we can do 150 for all 5 of your alts
QuantumFx > 150 millions?
Aiko Danuja > correct

I like to be agreeable.

QuantumFx > For the 5 characters?
Aiko Danuja > that’s right
QuantumFx > And they let me mine for a whole year?
Aiko Danuja > that’s correct
QuantumFx > Okay, let’s be clear. I have 5 characters. Manolo Acosta Mr Pitufo Don Sheldon Guillermo Romero and me
Aiko Danuja > right
QuantumFx > And what guarantees do they give me?
Aiko Danuja > If your ship is wrongly destroyed, it will be replaced at the nearest trade hub.
QuantumFx > Perfect! Who do I send them to?
Aiko Danuja > Aiko Danuja
QuantumFx > ok i send to my principal character Manulo

His main miner tried to scam me!

Cool blackface bro.

Step 4: Euthanasia

It’s the law.

I love to negotiate.

It was time for miner math.

Everything makes perfect sense.

Miners deserve a square deal.

He can pay the rest later.

What do you think?

That’s right.

I’m doing swell.

Peace.

Just Above

Some people don’t like Safety.

Congratulations Aiko!

Other people love me.

You can’t argue with success!

Maybe I was born with it?

Aiko Danuja is the best mercenary in EvE Online.

Business remains good.

No discussion required!

What will happen next?

I’ll make more isk.

Maybe even a few friends.

Wouldn’t you like to watch?

Cheerzah.

How to Sell a Mining Permit

Check out this trick (yes, today).

First, get their attention.

Ganking, bumping, warping around – whatever works.

Some miners enjoy the chase.

However, they are easily confused.

It’s important to address their concerns.

I’m the greatest ganker in the history of EvE Online.

Wouldn’t you like to meet me?

I’m nicer than my alts.

There was just one outstanding issue.

His alts also need permits…

This is a good racket.

In Eve Online, everything is fungible.

That’s right.

Can you guess what happened next?

Scroll down to see if you guessed correctly!

That’s right.

Did you guess correctly?

===AFTERWORD===

He went FULL CAPITAL on me.

We even had a BONUS round.

He was one lucky winner!

I’m happy to help.

That’s right.

Cheerzah!

Another happy customer.

\o/

Corbit Rin Joins the Mob

Let’s meet a miner.

He died straight away.

Mackinah daown.

Fully fitted!!!

Wrong rigs, my guy.

Miners disgust me.

He wants to talk to us, while on the loo.

Bro…

Welcome to the team.

Best of luck with your next Machinaw shiiip.

Later, there was an exit interview.

Poor guy got no worning.

He should tryed discuss this with the mane (that’s me).

Meening, we requier becaous we are hellping.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

I recently accepted a few quests.

Could I anti-gan the gankers?

This dummy didn’t realize something…

The contracts don’t require a kill!

Isn’t that special?

One contract was especially lucrative.

I was racing against sixteen other people.

Who could hunt me down the fastest?

Fortunately, I found some volunteers.

This was taking too long…

…so I got a BIGGER ship.

VICTORY!

Now that’s how you win EvE Online!

I’m the best!