Category: revenge

Mining Andres

Listening to: Minimal Techno Classic 3

That’s a lie.

Andres M Afanador is a Highsec miner.

Like most miners, he just doesn’t get it.

Andres, we are not into mining.

Recently, Andres began mining for BLACKFLAG.

Apparently, they’ve fallen on hard times.

Andres, you need a mining permit!

So then the ganks began…

A gentle reminder to stop mining.

He actually thought BLACKFLAG would protect him?

Breaking News: Andres M Afanador caught mining in Highsec.

Our leadership has a consensus.

We all wanted a solution, including Tweeps (aka James 315).

Meanwhile, Andres was (not) salty.

Andres isn’t in my alliance, and he is mining. Is that loyalty?

Andres, I find your loyalty insufficient.

The diplomatic situation was deteriorating.

Fortunately, my friends are not stupid.

Andres the antiganker failed again.

Nobody likes an antiganker.

This is how things work in Highsec.

Stop mining.

Pay your taxes.

Obey the CODE. Safety agents.

Seek help.

Never go full miner.

Those minerals I mine are freeREEE!

Andres had a little too much ice.

I hope he calms down.

That might be difficult.

Bee well!

The AWOX Files

Everybody knows the story.

Awox the awoxer, who awoxed his friends and family.

It sounds legit.

We’ve heard the story many times.

However, Awox always told a different tale…

He wasn’t an awoxer at all!

We brought him in for a quick interview.

This led to a surprising revelation.

I introduce to you, Awox the friendly carebear.

He couldn’t awox a fly.

He thinks awoxing is toxic.

The true story, according to Awox, is that the Mittani is a pedo.

Awox’s name is a tribute to his former employer’s beloved grandmother.

The goons invented griefplay to impugn her memory.

What a nice guy!

Awox prefers that people use my name, Aiko.

He’s also a fan!

…and now you know, the rest of the story.

=AFTERWORD=

Breaking NEWS

Listening to: Satyagraha

It finally happened.

Calm down miner is official.

Like it or not, but I’ve made EvE history.

Hrothbear was the first of many. A funny story about that… He was so desperate to pad his killboard, vowing to NOT SPEAK to anyone who linked the killmail on Zkill. Naturally, Sargon did it about a minute later, leading Saltgar to cry, running away from a chorus of “Calm down miner.” Now, years later, he can relive the experience!

Meanwhile, darkolus has begun his own descent into madness.

Ganked by Nazes, he vowed revenge.

darkolus > No, I’m just going to ruin the channel
Aiko Danuja > doubt
John Steelmerc > the only things miners ruin are our precious natural veldspar belts
Aaaarrgg > darkolus please dont mess up the channel with your miner salt, thats not our thing
Aiko Danuja > Kill: Phat Phil (Griffin)
Aiko Danuja > Kill: rajehem (Obelisk)
darkolus > you’re just ruining this game…
Dave Gates > darkolus ur face is ruining this channel now take a hike already. they’re creating content. if you don’t like it then leave like a sour puss & GTFO
darkolus > No… i won’t… my face gonna keep ruinning this channel…

He is a dark ugly little man…

With broken sentence fragments, he sought revenge.

He even invented a slogan…

…and a business plan!

My channel was ruined by bad grammar and incoherent phrases.

He griefed on me hard.

…but why was he griefing me?

What a crazy miner!

Cheerzah!



Merry Gankmas!

Hi!

I logged in, and was immediately ambushed…

It was the ghost of spring past.

Kotojo doubled my Christmas cheer.

Another happy miner.

Cheerzah!

That’s right.

THE END

Miners never understand the Gankmas spirit.

Oh well.

Anyways…

Don’t forget to claim your FREE quarter-penny unfit frigate!

BONUS CHRISTMAS SALT

Mr Potato Strikes Back

The Von MARK family boasts a starch legacy.

Unfortunately, one of them is a convicted ore thief.

He is a silly potato.

The more on propositioned us.

Gross!

Like all miners, he was a dump of Germany.

Before long, Unterplebkartoffel was frothing at the mouth.

He’s also a Nazi (which is illegal in his country).

Don tu re b uh minor.

Suddenly, the irl Nazi undocked in a ship which could shoot back!

Total Loss: $0.01

However, he forgot to shoot.

In the end, Von MARK was just another spacebully.

Janeway’s Revenge

Big Strong alliance is a little weak.

So they deployed their chief antiganker.

Captain Janeway practiced her craft in local chat.

Meanwhile, I was busy next door.

I came back to listen.

The miners supposedly had guns.

I don’t mind if they wait.

Silly miners!

This went on for awhile.

Janeway had a message for me.

It was a mystery message.

What a real pleb.

Snuffed Out DDOS Attack

Srajin knew Kevin 284 was behind the attacks…

2… 3… 4… disconnect…

Princess Aiko investigates…

Srajin got disconnected again!

This is a fun game.

He started gaslighting me…

What a silly miner!

Hmm…

Hey, I know that guy!

So he invited me to the LITG discord.

I see…

Srajin didn’t believe me.

He’s a computer expert.

He cried and cried…

I just told him the truth.

Deny, deny, deny.

It was a real mystery.

PLOT TWIST: Tyrion Hekki is Goose Lee.

Srajin left with a warning.

It was a real mystery threat.

The End!

=BEHIND THE SCENES=