Death of an antiganker, Part 2

Listening to: Haunt

Yesterday, we announced the death of Bloody Bear.

Today, he came to grips with reality.

He will never defeat me.

So he sent a video instead.

Army roleplay makes miners feel big.

He also linked another cringe video.

Five years ago, he supposedly defeated Zaenis Desef.

Is he actually a threat to anyone?

He added some bluster…

…and concluded with a message to gankers.

The videos made him feel like a man again.

What a silly bear!

I’ll haunt your nightmares
Little did you know that I like fear
When you jump, I’ll be right there
You should be afraid, you should be scared

Out of the darkness, out of the fear
It’s too late, I’m here now
I hope that you’re prepared, ’cause there’s no getting out


Don’t cross me or you’ll learn quick
The hard way that I’m not one to mess with
I got a mind full of mean tricks

You’re all alone, you’re on your own
It’s you and me, who’s going home?
Welcome to an in-game nightmare


A succubus preys on the weak
You better watch out for me
Mistakes were made, you will see
You should’ve never crossed me
Revenge is my calling

Death of an antiganker

Bloody Bear loves antiganking.

Back in the day, he even made illegal videos.

One day, justice finally caught up with him.

At first, Bloody Bear tried a bribe.

Of course, Krig had to confiscate the stolen ship.

Next, the carebear tried to buy a new ship.

This went as well as expected.

He only owed 300 million…

He only had one ship left…

So he traded his Falcon…

Thanks for the free ship, bro!

In one day, he lost all his killmarks…

However, he was already planning to get more.

What a silly bear!

Oh well…

Cheerzah!

Staying Busy

Jax Ranius > cunts

Tina DeWalt > FAGGETS
Tina DeWalt > STUPID FUCKS
Tina DeWalt > AGAIN
Tina DeWalt > STUPID FUCKS
Tina DeWalt > GET LOST
Tina DeWalt > FIND A DIFFERENT SYSTEM
Tina DeWalt > STOP GANKING MINERS YOU DUMB FUCKS
Zopiclone > Miner calm down
Tina DeWalt > FUCK YOU
Tina DeWalt > GET OUT OF MY SYSTEM

Miners are crazy!

Zopiclone > Your system?
Tina DeWalt > YEP
Zopiclone > You seem to be lost…
Tina DeWalt > OR SHOULD I HUNT YOU ALL DOWN ONE AT A TIME AND GANK YOUR ASSES
Zopiclone > You dont have a Valid Mining Permit.
Tina DeWalt > FUCK YOU AND YOUR DUMB SHIT
Tina DeWalt > HOW’S THAT FOR A PERMIT?
Zopiclone > You will require a Mining Permit for both of your Hulks
Tina DeWalt > FUCK YOU
Tina DeWalt > GO FUCK YOURSELF
Zopiclone > And because you swore you will pay 200 Million ISK per ship for the year
Tina DeWalt > YEAH NOT HAPPENING
Zopiclone > Calm down Miner

Tina had more to say.

Tina DeWalt > I THINK I’M GOING TO HUNT YOU ALL DOWN ONE AT A TIME AND GANK YOUR ASSES
Tina DeWalt > SOUNDS LIKE FUN TO ME
Tina DeWalt > I WILL GANK BACK REMEMBER THAT
Zopiclone > Sounds like youre over reacting…
Tina DeWalt > kill yourself and do us all a favor
Zopiclone > In game right?

PLOT TWIST: Tina is not a miner.

Tina DeWalt > I don’t mine lol i pretend
Zopiclone > I am really trying to understand…
RRISNER > Gankers are cowards and don’t know how to actually play Eve Online. Enjoy your moment of glory for it will never come again.
Zopiclone > ….??? It comes every 20 minutes

Highsec Griefing

I try to follow the rules.

However, some people don’t play by the rules.

There are soo many griefers in EvE Online!

I call it Griefers Online.

Jason Longshot tried to stop me from playing.

OmG!

This is extortion and racketeering!

Judgment was at hand…

Why?

I needed to make money, fast!

Alas, the miners began running a train on me…

WtF!

I was banned from the outer spaces…

…as grief miners took pleasure in my emotional distress.

*BONUS CONTENT*
=BEHIND THE SCENES=

Shory wanted to bully me, away from others.

So he began dimming the gaslight.

Then he began exaggerating.

Next, came the victim blaming.

Finally, the delusions of grandeur.

Stupid miners! 🙂

Hmph!

I have 93 active killrights(((((

\\\EPILOGUE///

Trun Goes Potty

Trun had to pee.

I know, cuz he told me.

Gross!

He is not a happy miner.

Trun has a potty mouth.

What a naughty little goblok.

He pled not guilty.

However, he was found guilty by a jury of his superiors.

For one thing, he is guilty of antiganking.

He’s also guilty of needing help.

What a pitiful bear.

So naturally, he had a temper tantrum.

Crazy!

Oh… he had more to say.

The phantom provision lives on!

Wow, this miner still yapping?

Miners disgust me.

He concluded by gaslighting everyone…

…and urging us to have more sex.

He also threatened to report us.

I don’t think he likes us.

What a silly!

#FREE NEFFI

Listening to: Democracy Manifest

Well, hello there.

One day, the ban hammer slipped.

Neffi Cake (aka Luci Gotti) got banned, permanently, maybe.

Investigative Princess Aiko investigates…

Meanwhile, ISD Redacted was summoned to space court.

Likewise, Redline doesn’t care.

The other miners accuse CCP of international crimes.

Damning chatlogs prove CCP devs are Snuffed Out alts.

Of course, they deny everything.

So Neffi banned all the CCP/Snuff devs from his discord.

Seems legit.

The truth is out there.

Is Neffi going to prison?

No, that’s Adrian Vexier…

Neffi was banned for something else.

Why???

Fortunately, Neffi has contacted a higher power.

NATO forces are on high alert.

Reddits have been reddited…

… and unreddited.

CCP fought the law, and the law won.

Snuffed Out is going to the big house.

Neffi just wants to play EvE Online.

Will Hellmar unban his biggest fan?

This is a paid advertisement…

omg he’s soooo hot

Did Neffi do anything wrong?

Regardless, Neffi will continue trying to login.

As always, Highsec gankers stand with Neffi.

We want him to undock.

Just let him play, and we will take care of him…

Save the whales!

Cheerzah!

To be continued?

*BONUS CONTENT*
***BEHIND THE SCENES LIVEBLOG***

Woe to 1DQ

Well, hello there!

All gunkers are groons. Garrrrar etc.

We lost everything in Delve, so now we hide in Highsec.

Lin Sa La had a cunning plan.

Could she spam the gunks away?

Like all miners, she needs guidance.

These are actual screenshots from EvE Online!

The temper tantrum gradually subsided.

James 315 would have loved this miner.

I’m just a despotic totalitarian tyrant.

Across the galaxy, miners yearn for the return of their Saviour.

Will he ever keep them safe?

Doubt.

Oh well…

Cheerzah bravs!

Back to Basic

At first, Nabjorn didn’t learn his lesson.

However, he finally understands.

Nabjorn Amatin > I am quiting this game I forgot it was full of assholes congrats though on not being able to make it in the real world
Captain BeerMonster > calm down miner
Nabjorn Amatin > I have quit its ok, the gank just remined me that assholes exsist in this game as they no longer have a refuge anywhere else

Nabjorn is a born quitter.

When will CCP crack down on PvP antics?

Gankas hide behind CONCORD…

So Nabjorn vowed to go full basic.

Nobody should have fun in a video game.

Never go full basic!

Gangers just want dank exhumer scraps.

Nabjorn became a basic civilian.

He wants everyone to know!

Good luck Nabjorn!

Meanwhile, in J-space…

Neurotica 1, Part 7

Listening to: Dark Techno 2018

Neurotica 1, Part 1

Previously, Erotica 1 was permabanned.

Afterward, he developed a cunning plan.

He decided to get rich, quick.

PLOT SUMMARY: Our anti-hero, Erotica 1, permabanned from EvE Online, wipes the sweat from his brow. “Eureka!”, he exclaims whilst committing securities fraud, selling fake cryptocurrency NFTs in order to purchase CCP and unban himself. This would prove to the courts, that Erotica 1 is a successful businessman. Along the way, he planned to make a trillion isk, through a legitimate galactic bank.

As an initial first step, he exploited his own IRL infant daughter, and tried to recruit a few EvE players.

His ‘friends’ were concerned.

Surprisingly, the scam worked.

Erotica (aka Justin) sold an NFT buy-in to his first mark, rounding $5000 up to $30000, with the expectation of future profits.

This is a story of sex, crypto, federal law, and crazy.

As a woman, I often feel uppity.

Am I a space Karen…

…or a reasonably concerned citizen?

I decided not to commit securities fraud.

No thank you!

Buckle in, it’s gonna be a WILD RIDE.

If subpoenaed, I will testify in court.

To be continued…