Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Miners have a lot of questions.
What do you think?
They are a strange and curious race.
It is our duty to civilize them.
Sometimes, they die horribly.
I’ll show them the art of the upsell.
I love to help.
Another happy miner.
Cheerzah!
=AFTERCARE=
Kotojo wanted reassurance.
He wanted to be remembered.
Every miner deserves our full attention.
We practice excellence through empathy.
Very nice!
What will happen next?
Stay tuned…
>>LIVE BLOG<<
Somehow, Aeden wound up outside the airlock.
As he sat in an Ibis, he gazed upon his previous home.
He sensed something amiss.
Indeed, abandoned Orcas get impounded.
So he tried to bribe the officers.
When that didn’t work, he promptly gave up.
No worries.
Why not lose a freighter too?
It’s important to trust others.
You know what they say…
Lunarius needed a mining permit.
He apologized for all the questions.
Even newbros can figure out how to pay.
He also bought an Amarr pass!
This is a pretty good business.
Cheerzah bruv!
EvE Online is one tough game.
That’s why we help newbros!
Sometimes they don’t appreciate us.
Are miners retardado?
I think so, yes.
Oh well.
Cheerzah!
Silly miners!
These are good people, right?
Hm, maybe not.
=BEHIND THE SCENES=
Miners are scrubs.
Ok, what happened?
It all started with an illegal Orca, and his ToxicFriend.
This was a real Highsec space battle.
Eventual, things reached their inevitable conclusion.
Another glorious victory!
=BONUS TRICK=
Just then, something magical transpired…
Indeed, Ivy Bloodstar was the real villain…
It’s always a bad time to do crime.
Miners need a lot of help.
For example, LosZetas couldn’t afford a mining permit.
However, I helped him find the isk.
I also helped change his bio.
Isn’t that better?
That’s right.
That’s right.
That’s right!
Previously, Erotica 1 was permabanned.
So he decided to buy CCP.
Before long, he began selling NFTs.
He thus invented “ironic” investing.
Why not invest with a scammer, for lolz?
Seems legit.
He could scam you, but he won’t – cuz it’s funny?
This sounds a lot like securities fraud.
Erotica just needed a little help.
A guaranteed return, eh?
This is when things got extra weird.
Uh…
So he decided to buy the Bahamas, and run for President.
One million dollars soon became a hundred billion.
Never go full batshit crazy.
Why not?
*smile and nod*
Bruh…
To be continued…
Princess Aiko is the best.
She always blog about ME))))
haha I’m not an NPC l’mao
283 + a blueprint?
…and an Orca… plus a Hulk?
That’s not what I asked for!
Haha, keep blogging space secretary.
Keep going, u dumb b.
There’s more…
I tried Aiko… and she blogged about it.
She loves blogging, especially with me.
Haha, I hope that miner writes her daily.
Aiko wasn’t a lezzi last night))))
I bet she wants to blog me again.
That girl is annoyed, paranoid, and full of void.
Prince Puppers wanted a Gila.
He wasn’t joking.
Puppers wanted to be a Gila main.
Oh boy, a discount Gila!
He sold everything he had…
…to buy a Moa.
Oh, it’s a free Moa…
With premium insurance!
So Puppers went to fetch his new Gila.
GrrrrrrrrrGROONSgaaarRRrr/
Puppers tried to get around the grief blockade.
So he employed null security comms.
This went as well as one might expect.
Puppers even tried a wormhole!
His friends were happy to help.
Meanwhile, Sargon was at the foot dentist.
When Sargon returned, he noticed the problem.
The Goons were using an isk tracker.
So Sargon cleaned Puppers out.
Eventually, Puppers contacted me.
He seemed confused.
The next day, everyone wondered about Puppers.
Apparently, his new home was in Thera?
Who told him to go there?
Eventually, Puppers just bought a Gila.
Another happy ending!
Cheerzah!
Listening to: Happy Miner Payout
Previously, Erotica 1 decided to buy CCP.
I play EvE Online, and I know something about business.
Isk doubling is illegal in real-life. lololololol…
Here are some some red flags. LoL!
So let me be clear.
Never go full Fighter Jets Guitarsolo.
Erotica just wanted me to invest.
I would tell a grand jury, something seemed wrong.
This concern only grew.
Erotica sold 60 ‘units’, ‘valued’ at $30’000, for $5000.
Does that sound legal?
Would you invest?
He was selling NFTs that never even existed.
Real-life investments are not guaranteed.
This was textbook securities fraud. Ironic. Ha!
Erotica knew exactly what he was doing.
He was inspired by real life scams.
This was getting weird.
Really weird.
With his $5000, Erotica went all in on cryptogirls.
Then he began blocking all the doubters.
To be continued…