Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Silent Company had a lot to say.
So I sent bumpers after them.
Eons ago, James 315 was a bumper.
One bump can change the course of a fleet.
It took John E McCain, just four days to subdue Greater Ottawasa.
Local went empty.
On Day 5, Phoebe Beeblebrox tried to break the blockade.
Georgia B Dixie (aka John E Normus) was on the case.
The illegal miners were escorted away.
An empty belt is a compliant belt.
To maintain tranquility, Georgia would cloak after each bump.
Spooky!
To be continued…
Listening to: Precious
EvE Online has some interesting characters.
Sometimes they go too far.
This is the story of Longtooth the Miner.
Hey there.
Normally, carebears use a Vexor.
He found me attractive.
Never trust a man who mines in Highsec.
He actually was a new player.
Barely eighteen years old…
Just another antisocial sociopathic CEO in EvE Online.
We soon learned a shocking truth…
This guy is a total pleb.
Just then, Good Girl Kara tried to stick up for me.
Oof!
Just a typical Highsec miner.
At least he’s not mad.
He’s just… not well in the head.
What a guy.
Cheerzah!
Miners often encounter gankers.
They especially notice me.
I am in the zone.
I try to give them what they want.
They like that.
Sometimes, they get a little upset.
They are frustrated with their lack of progress.
That’s fine with me.
I’m a princess.
Cya!
I’m a real Highsec escort.
That’s right.
Recently, miner Nigel ran into trouble.
He’s just a 2015 newbro.
So I agreed to assist.
I love to help the little guys.
Apparently, the mining pacifists lost a control tower?
No money? No problem!
Just send me your stuff.
It was his idea!
I’m glad we came to an agreement.
Cheerzah brav!
He just needs to pay.
That’s right.
There was just one problem.
I’ve done this before.
It works well.
I call it the 30 40 70 rule.
It works like a charm.
Later that day…
I change people’s lives!
There’s a life lesson here.
=FOLLOW UP=
It’s a cool name.
Let’s meet the guy.
Hey Squek.
Just another toxic miner griefer.
lmao!
Oh, hey there.
I know.
Everybody loves to meet me.
Everyone has their own emotional experience.
What is your story?
Well, ok then.
I sahut you.
o7 capsuleers!
It’s that time of year.
We are here to help.
Without further ado, the November rankings…
As we head into December, CASTOLE generously motivates the other contestants, by adding an additional 25 billion isk to the PRIZE FUND. Wow, thank you CASTOLE! Remember, December is the month of kill doubling, so earn your BONUS points fast with that holiday spirit! It’s not too late to bounce back to the highest levels imaginable. This is your chance to become a TOP TIER elite Venture destroyer! Of course, if you can’t gank a Venture yourself, feel free to send isk to those who can!!
That’s right!
That’s right!
That’s right.
Get grounded.
I’m pretty danger.
What?>
Clam daown, stupied gaunker!
Miners greetings to all.
Welcome to EvE Online, little miner.
It’s a sily game.
Every miner has his day.
Get buried, irl.
Ya know what I mean?
He finds us intriguing.
He likes something about me.
What a guy.
=BEHIND THE SCENES=
That’s right.
Nobody can read it all.
An ocean of salt, decades deep.
In EvE Online, you can be anything you want.
Some people are crybabies.
I’m just a tabloid journalist, in outer space.
I’m also a social worker, and your new high princess (hi there).
By many accounts, I’m the best.
I run a real bad corp.
It’s an intergalactic cartel.
My friends are happy to help.
We go way back.
I’ll see you on the gates.
Cheerzah brav.
I’m the greatest ganker in the game.
Some people call it piracy.
I think it’s just euthanasia.
Fools don’t take me seriously.
Those people are losers.
Look, I simply can’t respect a coward.
Meanwhile, I’m good at what I do.
I can be a real problem for you.
An annoying hassle, one might say.
You won’t like that side of me.
Apologies in advance.
