Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Shooting Highsec exhumers used to be a sporting event.
Now it takes fifteen people to kill one AFK Hulk.
On December 12, I was the only person to kill a Highsec Mackinaw.
Miners think they are invincible now.
They love being twice as strong.
What happens when you finally catch one?
Double miners are double salty.
I don’t like their attitude.
So I’m gonna kill them.
This is what they deserve.
That’s right.
You can thank me later.
Also, send me lots of isk.
My alliance is doing well.
You love my -10 stats.
Lately, I’ve been expanding.
Highsec gankers are doing better than nullsec titanbears.
We are a top tier alliance.
Some people are salty about our success.
The wraiths are hungry.
Never go full Ward.
You’ll look stupid (and salty)!
Some people gank Orcas, and some people are Bingo cards.
It must suck to know I have no life, and can play EVE every day.
If you are gonna trash talk me, make sure not to trash talk yourself.
Hm!
Viirilithizu always knows how to cheer me up.
Previously, Ward wanted killmails…
Now, he doesn’t want them!
Does Ward sound like a salty meme to you?
I wonder if he will stop ranting?
I wish I knew how to do real PvP.
Thanks for helping me write a blog post.
Stay in touch!
I’m glad you are content.
Seriously though…
Meltdowns are forever.
Okay?
I have my doubts!
I’m currently visiting the tomb of James.
Locals are excited to meet me.
Minnieminers are especially stupid.
Following their recent eviction, PAPI remnants have consolidated in and around Nakugard, to the east, west, north, and south somewhat.
This is an especially popular spot.
These miners have elite nullbear mains.
Readers of Minerbumping.com will recall the story of Timopotamus, a brilliant agent who was enforcing the CODE. long before plebs like Super Perforator ever heard of 315. You will be pleased to know that Timopotamus is still out there, always watching, and (believe it or not) he even submits content to this blog.
Spoiler: Maugrim Rax failed to destroy Timopotamus.
On a whim, we double killed a pair of Procurers.
We also won an elite 1v1 duel.
Jinx!
It sure sucks to be a miner.
Nobody likes a poor.
They are only good for one thing.
Yesterday, we stared into the abyss.
Was this the end of the galaxy?
Novus Ordo antigankers tried to report gankers for pulling, but the EVE community came together and defended our Highsec traditions.
All is well!
We celebrated by exploit dunking in Uedama.
Here’s a video!
In other news, an Orca had a Safety incident.
Safety inspectors are investigating.
Let’s examine the SRP request.
Ah, I found the problem…
You were trying to run your own business.
Safety first, always!
Tonight, I met with the CSM. Innominate has been crying IRL about his security status, but I reassured everyone. Later, Mrs. Brisc Rubal had to interrupt and ask Brisc why he was talking about “sex status”.
Being an EVE celebrity is quite a trip.
I don’t mind the attention.
I’m here to help.
Ok buddy! I’ll explain it again.
That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
That’s the truth!
I made a new alliance, for the future (and not the past).
What can I say?
You can’t deny success.
zoriad had a little problem.
His spaceship was melted, by neutron radiation.
It was a special ship, with a special purpose.
Unfortunately, he broke the law.
zoriad was dead, and it was his own fault.
Like most miners, zoriad denied his true mining nature, and insisted that he was just practicing with an exploration industrial.
Now it was time to quit the game, forever.
Like most miners, zoriad is dying of cancer.
It had taken a full month to build his ship.
Now he could never expore again.
Goodbye zoriad.
I’ve heard that I am to blame for the collapse of CODE.
James 315 knows the truth. I tried to save the alliance, but he wanted to die, so we could move on.
My critics hail from another alliance, from a backwards whiteknight dimension, where the CODE. logo is not orange… but blue. These former fans praise their version of James, a boring gankbear named Hrothgar, who doesn’t even blog. Hrothgar left the New Order, but still craves the fame and the legacy. He uses the CODE. logo like a blue module, which he plagiarized to maximize his isk/hr.
Let me be clear. I left the CODE. alliance, because I saw no future in the alliance without James. In contrast, Hrothgar saw no future with James. His axis of autism is composed of salty former fans, who left CODE. before James quit blogging. They deleted their mining permits, and renounced James. Oh yes, they did.
I was recently checking for mining permits, when I stumbled across a counterfeit. Oh sure, it looks legitimate, but it doesn’t mention Aiko (or James). James loved me so much, that he wrote about my beauty and grace, but he forgot to mention either of us in this mining permit? Puh-leez. Here we witness a forgery.
Aiko Danuja > Why are you pretending to be CODE, with a blue James logo?
Darkside Tickler > you mention all these names…james…ets
Darkside Tickler > but i have no idea who that is
Aiko Danuja > Yeh, exactly…
So I killed the illegal miner.
Whadda was disgusted.
What kind of New Order agent would sell a permit for just 10 million isk, as if it’s some worthless piece of cheap trash?
Do you want proof that I’m the heiress to James 315?
Without a word from me, my alt’s alt can delete your fake permit, and sell the miner a permit that’s three times more valuable.
This is why James left me in charge, not you.
Cheers!
Luci Gotti lost a freighter.
So he sent an assassin to kill Sargon.
The assassin was a ganker, but not a very good one.
My elite antigankers always win, with 0 damage.
Afterward, there were some emails.
I guess the assassin is also an ice miner?
Remember, bulkheads go around your cargo hold, not inside it.
There’s really only one response.
It’s guaranteed to get a response.
Always!
Previously, in Highsec… someone has been hunting down blingy furry marauders, snuffing out their pitiful yiffs in a dark abyss…
The EVE community was in shock.
Subsequently, Victor Medvil (a powerful Highsec miner, with advanced military-industrial skills) began publicly denouncing me.
Since I am open-minded, I wondered if this were true. This was my #METOO moment. The truth about Aiko was out! My organization was orchestrating an intergalactic conspiracy of mental illness related sexual abuse. Allegedly.
Reporters were requesting my appearance on the Intergalactic News Network, where I was expected to admit my involvement in sexual terrorism.
I drafted a response, but it felt empty and hollow. Something was missing. I needed to find a way to prove, once and for all, that I am pure Heroin.
Suddenly, an idea came to me. I would set myself an impossible task, a feat that would even impress James 315. I would convince staticfxx’s boydogfriend to calm down, accept me as High Princess, and purchase a mining permit.
Some people say that I’m a witch.
That’s right.
This is how it’s done.
I’m a miner’s best friend.
I’m here to help!
I’m the best.
I’ve sure come a long way.
Would you like to know more?
That’s fine, I’m having a party in his crypt.
Everybody knows what happened.
Sometimes, these things happen.
Antigankers are gonna need new corporations.
Meanwhile, I’m doing pretty good.
Feel free to join me.
We can have a lot of fun.
You know what I mean?
It’s gonna be great.
I’m Aiko!
Thanks for the support!
That’s right!
