WAR IN HIGHSEC

Aww, that’s sweet.

Oh, dear…

It’s so much easier to gank without CONCORD.

Why would you declare a Valentine’s War on me?

There’s something about me that people don’t understand.

I have a special relationship with powerful men.

It’s just that…

…well…

…I’m not who you think I am.

Sorry to disappoint.


Sun Tzu
said that you should know your enemy.

I’m kinda a big deal.

Be careful!

I’m here to help.

It’s kind of what I do.

Ya know?

History doesn’t repeat itself, but it definitely rhymes.

 

 

 

 

I like your Bratwurst

I’m every miner’s fantasy.

They just love me.

Sometimes, their brain melts.

Germans appear particularly susceptible to my charms.

I’m not sure what is wrong with that race.

I suppose their best DNA was lost an der Ostfront.

What?

That’s right. Germans never know when to give up.

Are Bavarians even actually people?

Oh well, at least it recognizes a lawful Prinzessin.

A business model, written in blood! Aiko shoots miners who don’t want anything other than to enjoy peace and quiet. She is so mean and vile, that one is sometimes left breathless. At long last, does she even know shame? I love mining, because it gives me a feeling of calm. However, she comes along and ruins everything!

What a funny little sauerkraut.

 

Talk to your therapist

Silly miners.

Wake up!

Ledrian recently returned to EVE. Yes, that Ledrian.

Meanwhile, I’m such a bad girl.

Oof. Getting all kinds of distorted attention.

Carebears think my channel should serve as a suicide hotline.

If I don’t want to help miners, then I am supposed to ignore them.

Furthermore, I’m not qualified for bonus giveaways.

I’m sorry about your mental issues, but that’s not my problem. As if. At the video arcade, you aren’t going to get free gameplay tokens because you claim to be suicidal. Furthermore, the clerk behind the popcorn stand doesn’t care. Sorry!

I’m a really nice lady, but I’m not going to let you win.

You should, like, talk to your therapist about me.

OMG.

Miners are soo mental.

Gross!

 

Proof of Concept, Part 3

Previously, in James 315 space… The mighty CODE. alliance imploded overnight, catching antigankers, carebears, James 315, and Matterall completely off guard.

Subsequently, Princess Aiko declared victory. Highsec is now a safe space.

However, Aiti Jen Ichinumi had doubts.

When Aiko offered to sell Aiti a ‘safety pass’ for the low price of just 10 100 million isk, Aiti launched into a familiar diatribe against James. Who is that?

Aiti likes nice gankers, not mean space bully griefers.

He was delighted to learn of Aiko’s glorious victory over the CODE.

Like it or not, Aiko seems to be a natural communicator.

She sure knows how to make a man feel safe.

Safe for everyone, including Aiko’s antiganking friends.

It sure is nice to be friends with Aiko.

What a special little lady.

She’s the best.

Hail Aiko!

 

 

 

 

 

Proof of Concept, Part 2

Previously, in James 315 space… Princess Aiko seduced the New Order and led everyone into a totally new alliance, called Safety.

Why did she do this? What happened?

Miners don’t like the new alliance.

There’s even a theory that Safety. might have a griefer space bully agenda.

What do you think? 

Does Aiko intend to moderate and restrain the New Order?

Aiti Jen Ichinumi recently found himself on a collision course with fate.

Aiti was fed up with mean bully gankers, and just wanted safety.

Be careful what you wish for!

To be continued…

 

Corporal Jimbo, Part 2

Previously in James 315 Space… Corporal Jimbo used illegal expanders to dangerously overfill his Sigil. When the bubble finally popped, he was none too pleased, and took out his frustrations upon the arresting officer, Cargo Bandit.

After a night in prison, Jimbo wrote a complaint to the Department of Customs.

Corporal Jimbo just wants to play EVE, and looks down on those who do likewise.

Jimbo eventually arrived in court, where Princess Aiko was hearing an adultery case.

Eventually, he had his chance to address the court.

Jimbo denounced the rule of law!!!

Terrorism in game is worse than terrorism in real life!

He also posted a no luck spell upon Aiko!!!!!

Poor Aiko, trapped forever in EVE Online.

Jimbo petitioned CCP to ban tradehub PvP, informing them of CODE. arrogance.

A few moments later, another defendant arrived at court.

Subsequently, Jimbo enjoyed correspondence with his new pen pal, Cargo Bandit.

***

FW: Re: really?
From: Corporal Jimbo
Sent: 2020.10.03 10:05
To: Cargo Bandit,

okay so how much to u want that I will never see u again?

With your terrorism u really fuck eve up for me, do u know this? Still cant get why u doing such crap

***

Re: FW: Re: really?
Von: Cargo Bandit
Gesendet: 2020.10.03 10:06
An: Aiko Danuja, Corporal Jimbo,

The princess said in a previous discussion that your permit was 180b, if you’d like to discuss terms join the why was I ganked channel.

***

Aw: Re: FW: Re: really?
From: Corporal Jimbo
Sent: 2020.10.03 10:09
To: Cargo Bandit,

 I hope u will leave this game one time. And I will block u now. This is a game a play in my freetime and i dont want to spend another second with your roleplay terrorism sh*t bb I wish to meet you never again

***

Aw: Re: LoL
From: Corporal Jimbo
Sent: 2020.10.03 12:09
To: Cargo Bandit,

Dont worry i packed Internal stabilizers in my butthole so u will catch me again gg

***

Re: Aw: Re: LoL
Von: Cargo Bandit
Gesendet: 2020.10.03 12:14
An: Corporal Jimbo,

They won’t help you much. I thought you blocked me?

***

Aw: Re: Aw: Re: LoL
From: Corporal Jimbo
Sent: 2020.10.03 12:15
To: Cargo Bandit,

I did, But unblocked u

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

High Treason

I bring you dire news.

Some miners have declared themselves to be in a state of rebellion.

Kay AllardLiao has thus composed a manifesto.

If you want to chat in Teamspeak, just let me know.

Buttercup Potemkin went deep undercover to meet the rebel leader.

Buttercup feigned concern about Princess Aiko’s consolidation of power.

AllardLiao was intrigued by Aiko’s ethnicity.

He was surprised to learn of her Palestinian heritage.

Girls from the West Bank should not support space terrorism!

AllardLiao loves the newbros, but Aiko just wants to kill them all.

If newbros can’t win while AFK, they will quit the game.

Nobody plays Wolfenstein anymore. Gamers hate violence!

Kay watched in horror, as Aiko continued to slaughter the innocents.

Alas, Aiko cursed him, and the rebel leader became incoherent.

 

 

 

Deal Storm, Part 5

Listening to: Cartoon High Trip #2

Deal Storm, Part 1

Previously in James 315 Space, suki storm was a contestant on Deal Storm, winning negative twelve billion isk. Although suki claimed to have only 4 million isk, Princess Aiko helped suki pull 100 million isk out of an empty wallet. When she did it again, suki realized this is a cool magic trick, and he was happy to make it rain. 30 million isk. 10 million isk. 30 million isk. 40 million isk. 70 million isk. 80 million isk. 100 million isk. 100 million isk. 100 million isk. 100 million isk. 500 million isk. 1 billion isk. 2 billion isk. 2 billion and 315 million isk. This is how you win EVE.

Everybody loves to play my game.

Surely, Princess Aiko can’t do it again?

You can’t stop her. She does it all the time.

Aiko is invincible.

It’s just part of the game.

Every game has winners and losers.

Follow me, if you want to win.

This isn’t a negotiation.

I’m a Princess.

To be continued…

ART THERAPY

zuzzik continues to recover from several unfortunate hauling incidents, expressing his feelings through a visual medium.

Deal Storm #4

Previously, in James 315 Space… Princess Aiko developed a master plan. First, you kill the Mackinaw. Then you charge them 100 million isk, twice. Next, you charge them 30 million isk. Oops. 40 million isk, not 10 million isk. I mean, 70 million isk! Also, they owe another 30 million isk, or 40 million now. So, 70… 80 is fine! Also, why not sell them an Orca for another 100? Why not another 100? And another? 

Miner suki storm was happy to be done.

Voila! In the beginning, suki only had 4 million isk.

suki storm > i hav” just 4million in my account

After investing with Aiko, isk was falling from the sky.

You can’t stop this girl! She’s invincible. Seriously, what’s her secret recipe for success? Is she casting spells? Hypnosis? Does she plan everything out, years in advance? Is it sheer charisma? Intuition, fate, or old fashioned Texas luck? Sex appeal??? Maybe, she was just born with it? Send me 100 million, and I’ll tell you! 

Suki was catching on. Alleil asked for 30 million isk, and would then normally state “Oops, I typoed! You owe 40 million.” Suki would then send another 10 million, and Alleil would say, “No, no, you owed 70 million, so you paid 40 and still owe 30.” This time, however, Suki just immediately sent 70 million isk straight away. Too bad Alleil typoed, because suki actually owed 100! Nice try, suki!

Suki was learning fast, and it was time to overheat.

Once again, Suki was bankrupt…

However, he was also a contestant on Deal Storm, where the price is always right!

Could Suki afford to win?

He had to think fast!

Think big!

Why would you use a cellphone to take screenshots?

Miners love me, and they love my content.

To be continued…