The Curse

In EVE Online, you can be anything you want.

For example, I’m a real-life Princess in outer space.

Yiole had a special offer for me.

Everyone in my Why Was I Ganked? channel was cursed!

Yiolo wrote down everyone’s name…

…for a serious space curse.

Names are powerful things.

She didn’t mind sharing her vast knowledge of cursedom.

In EVE, everything is fairplay, even black magicks are allowed.

This was a classic voodoo extortion scheme.


… there is a way to lift the curse…

…for a price.

Yiole presented compelling testimonials of her previous work.

It was time to pay.

There was just one small problem.

I’m immune to curses!


Watch this miner send me money!







LoL @ Khromius, Part 3

Previously, in Aikotopia… Erbacher lost his mining Kikimora, and Khromius vowed a “scorched Earth campaign”, roleplaying as a tough guy wardeccer. However, Princess Aiko made the desert bloom, and magical spaceships appeared from thin air. Khromius couldn’t handle the truth. Aiko was winning without any effort! Also, she was laughing at him, because free isk is gosh darn funny.

Aiti Jen, aka Charlie, was rewarded for his generous donations with a bonus round, hosted by a former CODE. celebrity.

Charlie was disgruntled. He visited the front, expecting to see Aiko’s new navy. Instead, he saw a handful of grumpy BLACKFLAG. bears grinding away on random stations, whilst spunky gankers dunked on hapless miners.

Aiko’s emissary quickly resolved Charlie’s concern.

Men of honor can easily reach an understanding.

Charlie was pleased, and made payment.

Was it possible Charlie could pay a little more?

Of course, Charlie wanted to be sure Aiko would stop ganking.

Also, what about the Sunday timer?

Those eggheads in Isanamo did their math, and the numbers were clear.

Charlie didn’t trust his new allies, but their logic was impeccable. 

Aiko would re-renounce ganking, forever, and Charlie would pay!


However, a few days later, Aiti regretted his decision.

He filed a formal complaint with Aiko’s boss, Australian Jesus…

…and that’s the story of how Khromius helped Aiko.

Thanks for the free isk, bro!

LoL @ Khromius, Part 2

Previously, in James 315 space… Khromius was salty about ganking, so he declared war upon an innocent girl, Princess Aiko. This was fine, because she laughs at antiganking carebears, and Khromius handed her a wonderful opportunity.

Like most people, who haven’t read the blog, Khromius is apparently unaware of how easily Princess Aiko distorts the fabric of roleplay spacetime. Somehow, the war was no longer about ganking, or stations, or anything connected to fundamental realities. This was simply a fantasy business proposition, and Aiko sells victory.

Aiti Jen Ichinumi > Alright. 1. I can supply your corp with ships to fight and stop him fitted at my expense. I do not want leadership or isk. Your corp keeps all profits.
Aiti Jen Ichinumi > 2. Stop ganking miners in hisec around jita.
Shekelstein Shakiel > I will pass the message about miners to my leader, i think i can work something out

The war thus became an asymmetrical proxy conflict. Aiti Jen was willing to fund Aiko, but only if she renounced terrorism.

Aiti Jen Ichinumi > I know you are in need.
Shekelstein Shakiel > alright
Aiti Jen Ichinumi > How many drakes?
Shekelstein Shakiel > around 27
Aiti Jen Ichinumi > Wow I will spend billions, but okay are you sure they want drakes, all of them?
Shekelstein Shakiel > send 20 for now

Somewhere, Khromius was stifling a yawn, slowly grinding down a structure. Meanwhile, Aiko was victorious. Isk positive, always!

Shekelstein explained Aiko’s doctrine.

Some say that Aiko is a witch, in real life.

Indeed, spaceships began falling from orbit.

It was an entire armada…

…with all the fittings.

The deal was struck!

Of course, I don’t actually own any structures…

…but I’m glad they are in Safety.

Everything was promptly sold in Jita, to purchase more Catalysts. Why would I want to waste my time doing boring station timer quests?

To be continued…


Aww, that’s sweet.

Oh, dear…

It’s so much easier to gank without CONCORD.

Why would you declare a Valentine’s War on me?

There’s something about me that people don’t understand.

I have a special relationship with powerful men.

It’s just that…


…I’m not who you think I am.

Sorry to disappoint.

Sun Tzu
said that you should know your enemy.

I’m kinda a big deal.

Be careful!

I’m here to help.

It’s kind of what I do.

Ya know?

History doesn’t repeat itself, but it definitely rhymes.





I like your Bratwurst

I’m every miner’s fantasy.

They just love me.

Sometimes, their brain melts.

Germans appear particularly susceptible to my charms.

I’m not sure what is wrong with that race.

I suppose their best DNA was lost an der Ostfront.


That’s right. Germans never know when to give up.

Are Bavarians even actually people?

Oh well, at least it recognizes a lawful Prinzessin.

A business model, written in blood! Aiko shoots miners who don’t want anything other than to enjoy peace and quiet. She is so mean and vile, that one is sometimes left breathless. At long last, does she even know shame? I love mining, because it gives me a feeling of calm. However, she comes along and ruins everything!

What a funny little sauerkraut.


Talk to your therapist

Silly miners.

Wake up!

Ledrian recently returned to EVE. Yes, that Ledrian.

Meanwhile, I’m such a bad girl.

Oof. Getting all kinds of distorted attention.

Carebears think my channel should serve as a suicide hotline.

If I don’t want to help miners, then I am supposed to ignore them.

Furthermore, I’m not qualified for bonus giveaways.

I’m sorry about your mental issues, but that’s not my problem. As if. At the video arcade, you aren’t going to get free gameplay tokens because you claim to be suicidal. Furthermore, the clerk behind the popcorn stand doesn’t care. Sorry!

I’m a really nice lady, but I’m not going to let you win.

You should, like, talk to your therapist about me.


Miners are soo mental.



Proof of Concept, Part 3

Previously, in James 315 space… The mighty CODE. alliance imploded overnight, catching antigankers, carebears, James 315, and Matterall completely off guard.

Subsequently, Princess Aiko declared victory. Highsec is now a safe space.

However, Aiti Jen Ichinumi had doubts.

When Aiko offered to sell Aiti a ‘safety pass’ for the low price of just 10 100 million isk, Aiti launched into a familiar diatribe against James. Who is that?

Aiti likes nice gankers, not mean space bully griefers.

He was delighted to learn of Aiko’s glorious victory over the CODE.

Like it or not, Aiko seems to be a natural communicator.

She sure knows how to make a man feel safe.

Safe for everyone, including Aiko’s antiganking friends.

It sure is nice to be friends with Aiko.

What a special little lady.

She’s the best.

Hail Aiko!






Proof of Concept, Part 2

Previously, in James 315 space… Princess Aiko seduced the New Order and led everyone into a totally new alliance, called Safety.

Why did she do this? What happened?

Miners don’t like the new alliance.

There’s even a theory that Safety. might have a griefer space bully agenda.

What do you think? 

Does Aiko intend to moderate and restrain the New Order?

Aiti Jen Ichinumi recently found himself on a collision course with fate.

Aiti was fed up with mean bully gankers, and just wanted safety.

Be careful what you wish for!

To be continued…


Corporal Jimbo, Part 2

Previously in James 315 Space… Corporal Jimbo used illegal expanders to dangerously overfill his Sigil. When the bubble finally popped, he was none too pleased, and took out his frustrations upon the arresting officer, Cargo Bandit.

After a night in prison, Jimbo wrote a complaint to the Department of Customs.

Corporal Jimbo just wants to play EVE, and looks down on those who do likewise.

Jimbo eventually arrived in court, where Princess Aiko was hearing an adultery case.

Eventually, he had his chance to address the court.

Jimbo denounced the rule of law!!!

Terrorism in game is worse than terrorism in real life!

He also posted a no luck spell upon Aiko!!!!!

Poor Aiko, trapped forever in EVE Online.

Jimbo petitioned CCP to ban tradehub PvP, informing them of CODE. arrogance.

A few moments later, another defendant arrived at court.

Subsequently, Jimbo enjoyed correspondence with his new pen pal, Cargo Bandit.


FW: Re: really?
From: Corporal Jimbo
Sent: 2020.10.03 10:05
To: Cargo Bandit,

okay so how much to u want that I will never see u again?

With your terrorism u really fuck eve up for me, do u know this? Still cant get why u doing such crap


Re: FW: Re: really?
Von: Cargo Bandit
Gesendet: 2020.10.03 10:06
An: Aiko Danuja, Corporal Jimbo,

The princess said in a previous discussion that your permit was 180b, if you’d like to discuss terms join the why was I ganked channel.


Aw: Re: FW: Re: really?
From: Corporal Jimbo
Sent: 2020.10.03 10:09
To: Cargo Bandit,

 I hope u will leave this game one time. And I will block u now. This is a game a play in my freetime and i dont want to spend another second with your roleplay terrorism sh*t bb I wish to meet you never again


Aw: Re: LoL
From: Corporal Jimbo
Sent: 2020.10.03 12:09
To: Cargo Bandit,

Dont worry i packed Internal stabilizers in my butthole so u will catch me again gg


Re: Aw: Re: LoL
Von: Cargo Bandit
Gesendet: 2020.10.03 12:14
An: Corporal Jimbo,

They won’t help you much. I thought you blocked me?


Aw: Re: Aw: Re: LoL
From: Corporal Jimbo
Sent: 2020.10.03 12:15
To: Cargo Bandit,

I did, But unblocked u