‎James 315 Space – Page 113 – Official Home of the New Order of Highsec

Why ? ??

You might be wondering…

Why Was I Ganked? is the best channel in EVE.

It’s a place where miners experience Safety.

They are often confused about why they were ganked.

Sometimes, they are new players.

Sometimes, they are returning newbros.

Sometimes, they are space lawyers.

Sometimes, they are distracted.

Sometimes, they are horny.

Sometimes, they are having a medical emergency.

Regardless, no matter why they were ganked…

…I’m always happy to help.

Their EVE experience has changed forever.

They have learned an important lesson.

The future burns brightly.

Be well!

Previously, in the Princess Diaries... Kelroth found a new friend in Princess Aiko, and squeaky Sievert Solutions began to cry, as Kelroth transfered billions and billions and billions to Aiko and her IRL friends.

Aiko’s main watched with amazement, as her Highsec trade alt’s ganking alt suddenly experienced a rapid isk influx, supplanted by large quantities of skill injectors (which were promptly sold on the Jita market). It wasn’t long before Aiko’s other alts were getting in on the intense gameplay.

The transfers kept coming, and a party atmosphere prevailed, as Kelroth invited the best gankers and scammers in the galaxy to come take his stuff. There was little doubt that Kelroth was snorting lines of pure crystalline cocaine, as he he happily indulged Aiko in beautiful renditions of I’m a Barbie Girl and Behind Blue Eyes.

The party went on, day after day. Everyone (except Sievert) was amused, as Kelroth rained PLEX, isk, and injectors down upon Teamspeak (with the sad exception of Sievert, whom Kelroth found annoying).

Eventually, everyone agreed to join Kelroth’s mining fleet, and help out the various newbros who had been convinced to join DarkStar Reprocessing.

Something went horribly wrong.

It was a dark day for DarkStar.

Kelroth had given all his money to Aiko, Lovin, and BigTits. He couldn’t afford any SRP for his miners, and the corporation was on the brink of insolvency.

To be continued…

Don’t Quit!

A lot of miners think we are cheating.

They believe we are space bullies.

However, we’ve never forced someone to stop playing.

We want them to keep enjoying the game.

We especially love newbros.

I would be sad if I made someone leave.

What would EVE be, without iconic players like FARTSTINGER II?

Greedy carebears deserve to pursue their dreams.

Without miners, who will build our spaceships?

We appreciate their dedication.

Every miner is a cherished member of our community.

Please don’t uninstall.

Mine on!

See ya!

Give Me My Dom!

Quick nslo wasn’t quick enough…

He wasn’t a very good sport.

In fact, he was a crybaby.

However, he kind of likes me.

He started to calm down.

Maybe I would be his friend?

Maybe I would be his girlfriend?

Maybe I would replace his spaceship?

Or maybe not…

He began to beg.

He lashed out in anger.

He appealed to reason.

He wanted a Dom.

He needed a Dom.

Poor guy.

Maybe James will save him?

Uedama Today

Welcome to Uedama.

It’s a great place to hang out with friends.

It’s like going to the club.

There’s only one problem.

Your ship might explode…

So come on over, and check it out.

Everybody is here!

You might even be a winner!

Are you feeling LUCKY?

Newbro haulers are especially welcome.

We’ll be waiting for you!

Kelroth, Part 3

Listening to: Tyrant

Kelroth, Part 1

Previously, in the Princess Diaries… Sievert Solutions was a salty antiganker crybaby Mormon. He took to the forums, warning New Eden about the rise of a powerful new force. Whilst other antigankers celebrated the slow decline of the CODE. alliance, Sievert knew that something wicked this way comes.

Everyone concluded this was just the ranting of a Highsec carebear, but deep in the subterranean archives of the New Order Historical Origin Society (NOHOS), the story of Kelroth is preserved as a pivotal moment in galactic history.

The New Year began with dire omens, for the Jamespocalypse was nigh. Elite Amarr ganker Lovin Jr was surprised to find an Enforcer loaded with skill injectors, and even more surprised to encounter the same goofus in a Magnate full of skill injectors. Shortly thereafter, a young Princess Aiko was contacted by Kelroth, who invited her to Teamspeak where they plotted against Lovin Jr.

Surprise plot twist! Aiko and Lovin are IRL friends.

Shortly thereafter, Aiko arranged an in-game meeting with Kelroth.

Kelroth bought a mining permit.

Sievert watched in horror, as the spider queen spun her web.

Kelroth gave Aiko another billion, plus a fifteen billion advance on Lovin’s bounty.

Sievert couldn’t believe Aiko’s dank tics.

Meanwhile, Kelroth was pleased to receive VIP status.

Aiko decided it was time to send an agent to Amarr.

Her scout reported that Kelroth was handing out Large Skill Injectors.

It was time to summon the girls!

To be continued…

Busy in Alikara

Miners really appreciate our content.

They recognize me as their official Saviourette.

They are always watching yours truly, their living Goddess.

I’m the best friend a miner could hope for.

They don’t always understand.

However, they respect my pedigree and lineage.

Indeed, they are truly grateful.

I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Don’t forget your mining permit!

Arts and Crafts

I’m a little busy, since I actually undock.

Today, I’d just like to share some arts and crafts.

Blake McAllister has a real talent.

Shekelstein Shakiel made an IRL visionboard.

zuzzik continues to enjoy art therapy.

I love my alliance!

Loopy Luna

Shooting Ventures is a sacred duty.

They usually have no idea what is happening.

Luna is a veteran of nullsec, but she wants a safe space.

She is determined to fight back.

First, however, she needs to learn how.

Luna wants Highsec to be her safe space.

Someday, she will be ready to defend herself.

Be well!

Aiko Danuja Penismuncher

Antigankers are the most toxic people in the game.

High Side is a typical ‘white knight’. If I acted like him, antigankers would cry foul, claiming the moral high ground. However, you can see for yourself. Gankers are classy cats, and antigankers are bitterbear losers.