Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
James 315 was a hero of the Great War.
Today, his legacy lives on.
As EVE’s greatest blogger, I’ve met so many wonderful people.
I’ve been sent a lot of amusing content.
I don’t care what you think.
I’m having fun.
EVE Online is the most amusing game.
I’m the greatest capsuleer in the history of New Eden.
Listen to me, and you will succeed.
This is a PvP game, just don’t PvP against me.
I will kill your miners.
I will take your money.
I will tell everyone in local.
You will wind up on my blog.
What is this vanity blog? What does it mean, in the big picture? Eons from now, when EVE Online is just a quantum reverberation in some xeno telescope, how will my blog be classified in the grande schema of the metaverse?
I think about this sometimes daily, and know that I could never measure up to James 315’s regal narrative of the New Order’s early history. Unlike James, I actually have to undock, or those miners are gonna get away.
Some people think I hold this against James, but he loves me forever and ever, so I can do or say whatever I want and I’ll have his full support, always!
Don’t let Arrendis scam you.
She hates James with a passion, and she’s mortified to realize the CODE. has survived. Such miners used to yearn for James to leave, but now they wish he would come back. Simply by existing, I fulfill the prophecy of Newe Halaima. Quite simply, I ensure that the story of James is a beginning, rather than an end.
I am the heroin of Highsec, pulsing through the crystallized veins of New Eden.
I’m just a vapid little girl, but I’m also a Princess, and my word is law.
Recently, I was allowed to join Goonswarm. I have a standing invitation from Merkelchen, with a vouch from Brisc. That’s right, on top of all their other concerns, PAPI remnants also need to worry about Aiko’s gold-plated Avatar.
I even got a medal, with the explicit consent of the Mittani .
So really, this blog is just a spontaneous celebration of all things Aiko.
Recently, I did a personal favor for Tau AD and the good men of Snuffed Out.
They rewarded me with a pedestal made of pure salt.
I’m truly an inspiration to the galaxy.
Undock, and seize the day!
I’ll see you at the statue!
After each gank, we try to help.
Chet has been having a lot of difficulty.
What could the problem be?
Can you guess what Chet is doing wrong?
After a brief conversation, we identified the issue.
Chet isn’t a bot aspirant. He actually is a bot.
Whenever you see Chet, you can rest assured that CCP doesn’t care about botting.
Botting is perfectly normal in EVE Online.
CCP knows this, but they refuse to take action.
These bots are everywhere.
This is digusting!
So I’m just gonna kill them all.
No permit = No ship.
Praise me!
You have to. It’s the law of Halaima.
I am a trueborn Goddess of Highsec.
You wish you could shove it.
I’m just a sexy lady.
My friends are doing well in EVE.
My enemies gnash their teeth in vain.
For them, every day is a struggle for survival.
Simp or die. It’s that simple.
Disobedient miners get the blasters.
Loyal citizens get rewarded.
James 315 might be dead (permabanned), but his spirit lives on!
Wheeee!
The CODE. always wins. Always!
A year ago, with CODE. permanently banned from the alliance tournament, and the tournament indefinitely cancelled, many doubted that CODE. would win yet another alliance tournament. Today, although CODE. remains a dead alliance, there is a probability that CODE. will win the next tournament. I can’t speak for Kadesh Priestess or the New Order Outreach Division, but some dots connect themselves.
Here is James 315′s interpretation of CCP’s decision.
I’m just a lowly gankerette, so I don’t have any meaningful insight into the tournament. Frankly, I came to EVE because arena PvP is boring. However, I must acknowledge a fact. The New Order Outreach Division, aka the king asked me to guard the mountain, aka Goryn Clade, aka Karmafeet, aka HYDRA RELOADED, aka Warlords of the Deep, aka This Game is Terrible, aka The Camel Empire, is doing a great job.
Meanwhile, I will remain in Highsec.
There’s just something special about this place.
Cheers!
A successful alliance, requires a successful channel.
Why Was I Ganked? is the future of Highsec ganking.
Mainly, because I said so.
Also, it’s just the place to be.
James 315 wanted me to be happy.
So he gave my channel his official blessing.
James knew a good thing when he saw it.
A piece of EVE history… there once was a channel called Why Am I Dead?
I never claimed to be creative or original.
I’m just a humble princess.
I run the best channel in EVE.
People love it here!
I’ll see you there!
I feel sorry for losers who got banned.
That sucks for them!
Oh dear…
Miners are coming for us.
Why are they so angry?
Will they ever calm down?
They appear particularly vexed with me.
I must be doing something right!
I hope Aiko steals my balls,
and CONCORD puts it deep in her Danuja ass.
P.S. I’m busy.
On the eastern front, our elite taskforce strikes against illegal PAPI freighters, off the coast of Beeitnamese Dumbkirk. Spaceborne Bu-87 Catalysts, the secret weapon of the New Order, surface from the depths of the abyss to obliterate hapless nullbears. We then sink beneath gravitational waves, awaiting the next convoy. As Mitt desires, the Gallente ice interdiction will continue indefinitely. No refunds.
The People’s Democratic Republic of Highsec has a special relationship with our renters in the Delve, and we have graciously offered assistance during their Sacred Reconquista. Best wishes to the Swarm, as they help Testbot refugees reach the Dronelands.
In the west, there is nothing new to report. Coach Subway continues to fail daily, and nobody is surprised by his bad attitude, atrocious singing, and infinite incompetence. Since Subway claims to be an elite Pro Guides coach, he was presumably delighted to find himself decced by Pro Guides Galactic Champions. Yes, that’s right. After all his contributions to CCP, Subway won a FREE wardec coaching session.
The war went well enough, but Pro Guides got bored after Subway abandoned his FreeEve movement. Yes, like Vily, he fled in disgrace. Of course, no actual human wants to waste time bashing a structure, when they could be updating Windows or staring at the wall. Consequently, the war ended in stalemate.
At this point, the plot twisted. One of Coach’s alts was promoted to CEO, and sought revenge, declaring war on the Galactic Champions. What? Why? Misclick? This was a challenge which could not be ignored, and the professionals went to work.
Afterward, Coach got a customized victory email.
He also received a FREE inspirational poster.
Don’t fuck with Dolphin Don.
It’s not easy being this awesome, looking this good, and writing a blog.
Women have to work twice as hard.
Recently, the miners hired a little defense fleet.
Isn’t that cute?
It was another antiganking victory!
Unfortunately, without a defense fleet, the miner didn’t survive.
Nor did the reinforcements.
It was time to get serious.
So they brought in their best man.
He brought his best ship.
Before long, Perseus got a hot tip.
It was a great victory.
Was it worth it?
You might hate me, but I know what you need.
See ya!
Heh.
Some people don’t like me.
Some do.
Either way, I get a lot of attention from the boys.
I make them soo excited.
Here’s a little secret.
I like to kill miners.
That turns me on.
Stay SAFE!
