The Secret Speech

Apparently, I’m the legendary heroin who finally brought it down. Antigankers couldn’t do it, and only the Code has the power to defeat the CODE.

We aren’t getting a divorce, because I’m a space Catholic, but we’ve moved into opposite sides of the house and are dividing assets. James will retain his inactive membership, and I’ll take the future.  Of course, if you want to join New Order Logistics, you can still roleplay in the theme park. However, the rest of the alliance is hereby dissolved.

This is happening. It is done.

I tried my best to keep the alliance together, but James (in his infinite wisdom) has decided to trigger an irreparable failure cascade. I won’t even pretend to praise this judgment, and I must instead acknowledge reality. It’s time for some real talk. 

James 315 has never been to outerspace. Neither have I. It’s important (always!) to recognize the fundamental difference between the game and reality. For example, in real-life, I am a Princess and my daddy’s lawyers can destroy your whole family. However, in-game, I sometimes have to deal with common plebs. In the same way, James is a great guy in real-life, but neither perfect nor divine in a video game.

James is the Saviour of Highsec, that is true. He saved it for ME. Thanks James!

He understands the people need something he can’t provide.

I know gankbears are angry at me, but everyone else is in agreement, a course correction is necessary. James also agrees with me. He despises idle sycophants who endlessly praise him without merit. He is disgusted by AFK non-undocking carebear roleplayers. He is sorely disappointed by his most devout followers. 

The cult of personality was a powerful tool, and James used the doctrine of infallibility to ensure success. However, propaganda inevitably undermines internal decision making policies. We must end this madness.

Isolated in his bubble, James drifted away from reality. We shouldn’t cast judgment here, and no disrespect is intended, but dictatorships fail for precisely this reason. He was a strong independent man, but he spent a little too much time secluded in his dacha. I will let Nikita Khruschev explain the situation:

While ascribing great importance to the role of the leaders and organizers of the masses, Lenin stigmatized every manifestation of the cult of the individual. Stalin acted not through persuasion, explanation, and patient cooperation with people, but by imposing his concepts and demanding absolute submission to his opinion. Whoever opposed this was doomed.

We must first of all show everyone what harm this caused to the interests of our party. There is no more bitter misery than to sit in the jail of a government for which we have always fought. We have to analyze this matter carefully because it has a tremendous significance, not only from the historical but especially from the political, educational, and practical point of view…

Stalin doubtless performed great services to the party. However, he was excessively extolled. Our historical victories were attained thanks to the organizational work of the party, and to the self-sacrificing work of our great people. They are not at all the fruit of the leadership of Stalin. Can we deny this? 

Many (many) crimes were committed in the name of James, as his absent leadership allowed corrupt roleplay bureaucrats to undermine the alliance. Competent and highly esteemed gankers, such as Alt 00, were brutally persecuted. Meanwhile, antigankers (and even miners) were allowed to walk free, protected by those who would loudly praise James. This is unacceptable. Enough is enough.

With all due respect to James 315, we cannot and will not maintain a successful alliance based upon the cult adulation of an individual who no longer plays the game. We will not allow our alliance to be mismanaged, like an AFK Orca on autopilot. We like James, and we love James, but he is gone. We are a glorious democratic people’s republic,  and the shareholders have now elected me to represent you. This is neither what I wanted, nor what I expected, but I am happy to serve the people.

James, call me, you owe me $20.

Fun Police

EMERGENCY ALERT

That’s right, the fun police are here. Dock up!

***

You know, back when I dated James, he caught me hustling Krig. Ok! So things were SUPER awkward. It got even more weird, after I formed the most successful World of Warcraft griefing new player assistance guild. We broke up eventually, but stayed in touch, and James knew exactly whom he wanted to expand his glorious EVE Online empire. There was only one problem. Can I be trusted not to just seduce men, take their stuff, and act really vain and self-centered? I mean, like, yah, of course.

Calm down boys.

Ok, look, here’s what we are gonna do.

Once you invite a woman into your house…

…she’s gonna re-decorate.

 

 

Fuck #4

Fuck #3

The miners have a lot to say.

Sometimes, they are more concise.

It’s not very hard to understand.

They want to do things their own way.

Unfortunately, they don’t have much luck.

They seem to be stuck, repeating the same basic patterns.

What does it all mean?

I don’t think they are calm.

They don’t seem to like us.

They don’t seem to like me.

I don’t like them much either.

They are crazy!

They’ve always been crazy.

Nobody likes a miner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aiko is the Mittani

The Why Was I Ganked? channel is a great place to discuss EVE.

However, Key Orion was initially unimpressed.

Why is the leader of Goonswarm hiding in Highsec?

Like Napoleon, Princess Aiko abandoned her army in the midst of winter.

The secret is out. Everyone knows about Aiko. 

She isn’t even trying to win the war.

After some thought, Key decided this was pretty impressive.

It sure is nice to be the most powerful woman in the galaxy.

Delve-schmelve.

I honestly don’t care.

Is that Alex guy still pretending to be me?

Highsec News

The latest breaking Highsec news. Read all about it!

Miner Khatoum was eager to attract subscribers, and what could be more exciting than watching his spaceship explode? Khatoum was so shocked, his hand hovered in space for a long time. He wasn’t especially mad at Nitetime Video, but let lose a string of f-bombs when he heard about a c-word princess.

Here’s a mining joke:

Haha, very funny miners.

In other news, Brisc Rubal doubled down on being utterly obtuse. 

Hellokittyonline made a reasonable request. Did you know, suspects can be attacked by anyone and everyone? Wouldn’t the game be more fun, if suspects could form fleets, and work together with friends? Is there any reason that they must always be alone? I remember, a long time ago, I thought neutral logi support was the dumbest thing. However, I didn’t realize that logi also went suspect, and could be attacked and killed. So how is that unfair play? It sounds like a great way to generate fleet content in Highsec.

Since I killed kitty’s Phantasm, I’m a credible source in regard to whether his playstyle is ‘overpowered’. Without CONCORD protection, he is exposed and vulnerable. Why shouldn’t suspects utilize remote support, what’s wrong with that? If you attack a suspect, you should be prepared to fight their friends.

I can’t imagine a more asinine response. Just in case you aren’t clear on the rules of this game, the suspect cannot engage a target UNLESS the target shoots them. By definition, suspects are only engaging targets that fight back.

I don’t think Brisc cares about Highsec. Should CCP delete it?

Before long, Brisc began insisting suspect baiters “never” lose ships, and he even claimed that I have only lost two ships. Ever.

It’s ok to say stupid things, but come on Brisc… you just jumped the shark. 

Brisc insists suspect baiting is bullying and griefing, unfair plane which should be nerfed out of existence. It’s ‘overpowered’ when Krig Povelli has a lone Nergal, and offers to simultaneously duel every other player in the game. Meanwhile, Brisc led a taskforce of three Nergals and dozens of assault frigates, to dunk a hapless procurer. You tell me? Who is actually attacking ships that can’t shoot back? 

Brisc claims to be an expert on ganking. He knows we ‘never’ lose, and never take fights unless we are 100% sure to win.

I’ll tell you what, I’ve seen a lot of ganks go wrong. I don’t know what 315 would call it, when my Catalyst explodes, and miners are laughing. I call it defeat. In fact, I’m never sure I’ll be able to kill a Venture. It might have shields, it might be moving, it might have antiganking support, and there’s faction police and CONCORD. Also, Catalysts cost money, and most ganks result in a net loss. However, Brisc believes I’ve only lost two spaceships, and I never lose. I wish I was as good as Brisc believes.

I wanted to know where Brisc developed his intimate understanding of ganking. Here I am, just a lowly CODE. princess, but the great Brisc Rubal is lecturing me on the ganking mindset. What does he know? How? 

Brisc has participated in 21 ganks. Wow!

Here’s what MiniLuv had to say about his participation.

It’s cool to disagree, and even be totally wrong, but seriously. Sometimes, it’s ok to admit that you don’t know what you are talking about.

 

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #223

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #222

\o Hello friends.

Miners write the darndest things.

They aren’t especially intelligent.

However, they should at least be polite.

I enjoy receiving fan mail.

I especially like poems.

Unfortunately, some miners aren’t very nice.

Crabs are kind of mean.

I don’t even mine in Highsec, have you seen any Highsec miner with omber crystal? Is your brain filled with dog shit? I was just going back to Jita. I wish your mom to die at Christmas.

5pm, tommorrow, you can go check yOur mom’s grave. I wish your entire family to celebrate Christmas one hundred times, in hell. You will get cancer and your grave will be a great place.

Mining seems really boring.

I just want them to purchase their permit.

It’s also helpful when they clear our kill rights.

 

They help us, and we help them.

Silly miners, they’ve been upset a long time.

I’m just glad to know, they love their Princess.

Aiko Danuja, a healthy mare.

 

          

Kills of Yet Another Week!

Kills of Some Preceding Week

Wow, just when you thought the CODE. was finally dead, it somehow keeps going. Here are some crabby miners, who faced justice during the week of August 13.

***

Matumba F knew what she was getting into, that’s why she joined a corporation called Dead Squad. She got everything she bargained for. Great!

***

UEDKnight also went for thematic roleplay, joining The Superior NPC Corporation. Apparently, bot aspirants really do aspire to become NPCs. Well, his wish was granted, and he was dunked in seconds, just like a real NPC! Wonderful.

***

Gothryc Bumgardener thought working for an inflammable powder factory would keep his ship from exploding. Unfortunately, when exposed to neutron radiation, everything burns. Can you believe, he was defeated by gay pride? BOOOOM!

***

v3rmin isn’t just a miner, he’s a smuggler. Within the cargohold, Billy discovered a secret stash of tritanium, with traces of pyerite and isogen!

***

Everybody hates moonpire, and for good reason. marco has been getting great kills, but I just love seeing him dunk these depots. The EVE community thanks you!

***

Ibowto Noone had a bad attitude, and was just chilling and relaxing, when she was erased by my good friend Berger. Good fight!

***