Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Miners think we want isk.
They think we want ‘loot’.
As if they have anything worth taking.
Miners are just poors.
They can’t afford to pay us.
We don’t want their petty isk.
We just want to take out the trash.
Of course, they must pay us — that is the law.
This is a textbook protection racket)))
Capiche?
After they pay, we are definitely going to kill them.
That’ll teach them to be SAFE.
That’s how you win EvE Online, without being a quitter.
Cheers!
Everybody loves the mighty Safety. alliance.
Wrathful Hawk made a friendly video, welcoming new players and Whovians to Eve Online, showing them exactly what awaits. Required viewing for any aspiring marauder capsulosers. Check it out (or don’t, idc).
That’s right!
Have you noticed that miners complain that we only shoot ships that can’t shoot back, and then they also object when we shoot anything which might theoretically be able to shoot back? It’s like they are never happy!
You know what rhymes with miner?
Calm down whiner!
Antigankers are kinda stupid.
They enjoy shooting empty pods, and never understand that multiboxers find it helpful. Nobody wants to repetitively click the dock button. It’s quite a convenience to be teleported back home!
Haha, now that is some elite PvP in EvE Online!
PROTIP: Stay safe, and let CONCORD handle the griefers!
Even the best antigankers wonder… is it worth it?
Javencraft44Ace just wants to mine in Highsec.
He begged for peace.
Javen bent the knee, in abject submission.
There was only one problem.
We don’t negotiate with miners.
No matter how incompetent you are…
…you will regret shooting empty pods.
You will gnash your teeth in vain.
That’s right.
You might not like me…
…but I’m here to stay.
I’m invincible!
Sometimes, miners are too busy to mine.
Such people are easily distracted.
They are out to lunch, literally!
Miners are ‘hard’ workers, in real-life.
They are even replicating.
I sure hope they clean up their act.
Sometimes, you just gotta go!
Unfortunately, that’s when it happens!
That’s right!
What are you gonna do?
It’s not like you can use a bottle…
Who has time for mining?
Highsec is the best place to not play EvE Online.
Just relax!
Everything will be fine.
Nobody cares!
CoMeader wanted Safety.
He searched for Safety.
He even bought a mining permit.
Do you think he found Safety?
***
Can you guess the answer?
***
Scroll down, to read the rest of the story!
PLOT TWIST: Safety found him!
What happened?
CoMeader is a citizen of the Caldari State.
Here’s a finer point of Highsec law.
CoMeader crossed a RED LINE, into an active warzone.
The Yulai Convention is crystal clear.
As the story of Anvent Eturrer reminds us, the Gallente Federation is not fucking around, and criminals are not welcome. Leave now or be destroyed!
New Order agents are tasked, by CONCORD, with the apprehension of criminals.
Interdimensional Ganking Forces are the only capsuleers allowed across borders.
Obey the law, or face justice!
We want to help.
However, miners don’t care.
They’d rather die than play EvE Online.
They just want free isk.
Broadcast 4 Reps, and take your meds.
I not care you tear.
This PvP freight train won’t stop.
Crybabies must die.
Here’s a video by Sargon of Amerish.
Nice!
Miners think they are so smart.
Techno Gameing invented the M4 Sherman of Thorax tanks.
SPOILER: You gotta be careful on these mean streets.
Gunkers gunna gunk you up.
This Dr Who Convergence is pretty elite!
Ok, see ya later.
Cheers!
Listening to Russian Hardbass Mix by White Sky
Dear Diary,
Codename Pleb continues to whine.
Anyways, we ganked Hedliner and his Awox alt.
Grrrr Aiko, hat hat hat gunkerz.
Hat hat hat.
GARRRR GROOOOONGREEFEREEEEEE!!1!!!!
Now that’s some Pandemic salt!
Also, do you remember DKslopoke?
Now he’s blackmailing me.
I guess I’ll be banned soon?
Meanwhile, in Halaima, I bewitched the Monster from J124023!
Hey, I’m getting good at this.
Even a monster knows how to treat a Princess.
I put a spell on him.
With friends like this, I will never fail!
While antigankers cry, the people I gank are paying me))))))))
That’s right!
Party never stops
Russian through Highsec
Like it’s Vice City
Cyka blyat
Don’t be afraid of nada
Get ready for the drop
Everyday I drink
Everyday I gank
If you do the same, you are my drug
This is how we party
Antigankers are losers, in real-life.
Codename Razorback spent a year pretending to infiltrate CODE.
All this effort was for naught.
He didn’t even get an “I wasted a year infiltrating CODE.” t-shirt.
Codename is grrrr cringe salty. He spent IRL money on a stupid name.
What a loooooser!
Some people hlurf and blurf, whilst others get it done.
DKslopoke wanted revenge, and he knew antigankers were useless.
So he decided to do it himself.
He even made his own antigank corporation.
Business wasn’t so good, and DK needed isk.
Oops!
Antigankers fail daily, always!
When will antigankers discover the TRUTH?
They are bad at EvE Online!
With enemies like this, we always win!
Haha, ok!
I’m a better antiganker than they are.
Hedliner and his Awox alt griefed newbro Hwark.
Now that’s how you antigank!
Oldtimers remember Wenzhou Satsuma.
T’was Wenzhou who battled Gankula.
Like most antigankers, Wenzhou thought he was winning
He pioneered the art of ECM whoring. However, Wenzhou had a dark secret. He didn’t antigank for justice. He antiganked for ore.
When newbros would try to get some, Wenzhou would murder them.
Earlier today, I discovered Wenzhou’s secret moon base, where he would take stolen ores, and reprocess them for sale on the black market of Dodixie. I found his haunted base, and I destroyed it. I erased his foul legacy.
With one stroke, Wenzhou lost everything. The sum total value of every single ganking vessel he ‘destroyed’ (pretending that he didn’t just merely whore on the CONCORD killmail) does not equal the cost of this compression array.
It is a small victory, because Wenzhou was just one of history’s many failtards. Nevertheless, there is a lesson, for those who seek to follow in his footsteps. You might think you are winning, but you are wrong.
