Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Everybody wants to be my friend.
When I enter local, it’s a big deal.
Everybody knows, I’m here to help.
I kill miners, and take their money.
I’m fine with that.
It’s a pretty good racket.
I enjoy gambling in EvE Online.
Come play with me…
It’ll be fun!
I’m better than Vily.
New player Aiko, ahead of a 2007 minelord double trader!
My secret strength has always (get it?) been the CODE.
Unlike James 315, I don’t have time to give a handjob to every supporter.
I’d love to do it – but I’m busy, as a top tier elite PvP champion.
Mark my words: TEST is next.
We are going to put Vily down.
That’s right!
Here’s your daily newbro.
I am truly amazing.
That’s right!
Everybody is talking about me.
Sometimes, I even seduce married men.
Aiko is basically a bitchy James 315.
Do you have faith, full faith?
Prove it!
I’ll never stop!
Catch me, if you can!
I play so hard to get!
Haha.
You love it!
Why won’t CCP do anything about ganking?
Crybabies got double EHP, and they already want “one more nerf”.
Have you tried modules, whilst visiting dangerous space?
Have you tried not autopiloting, with expanded cargo?
Every miner is an autistic retard, in real life.
I hope you uninstall and quit the internet forever, in real life.
You don’t even know how stupid you are.
Veltis is fine with ganking, but wants it to be nerfed (again).
Bill wants his nullbloc to have 100% safezone AFK grinding.
Bert thinks gankers live in a basement.
He doesn’t mind ganking, but gankers need more risk.
Likewise, mlwspace thinks ganking is good, but there’s way too much.
One solution is to instablap gankers, right?
blinkfann3 wants to buff gateguns.
Here’s the issue, blink… You are an autistic retard, in real life.
Just stop playing EvE, and try Farmville.
If you can’t figure out how to avoid gankers, you are a more on.
Yes, you reetastic autards.
Miners aren’t Captain Picard.
They are more like Arnold Rimmer.
Shooting Highsec exhumers used to be a sporting event.
Now it takes fifteen people to kill one AFK Hulk.
On December 12, I was the only person to kill a Highsec Mackinaw.
Miners think they are invincible now.
They love being twice as strong.
What happens when you finally catch one?
Double miners are double salty.
I don’t like their attitude.
So I’m gonna kill them.
This is what they deserve.
That’s right.
You can thank me later.
Also, send me lots of isk.
EvE Online is more than just a spaceship battle royale.
It’s also a sitcom, in outerspace.
Antiganker EVERESS 88 was proud to purchase her very own Aiko corpse.
However, relations soon soured.
It all started when EVERESS revealed that the real year, in real life, is 1984. That’s right! “They” don’t want us to know the truth, but Hollywood film titles contain secret clues to the real true year of our Lord.
EVERESS was furious when Aiko told her gossipy little clique.
All of Aiko’s friends began laughing at the silly miner.
Even worse, Aiko expected EVERESS to apoligize!
EVERESS regretted her investment in Aiko’s sexy body.
The antiganker no longer wanted to give money to gankers.
EVERESS was so upset, she struggled to spell basic words.
The truth was revealed. Aiko is a BASIC BITCH and a single mom.
This went on for hours.
Eventually, EVERESS decided she was done spreading TRUTH.
*THE END*
*****
In other news, Krig Povelli helped a miner.
The miner’s security status dropped from 0.1 to -5.7!
What happened?
How are Highsec gankers so wealthy?
As a woman, I know how to get money.
I’m not ashamed.
I’m a real keeper.
Men are so silly.
I’m going to kill you all.
You know what I really want?
I’m totally worth it.
That’s right!
I just want to kill all the miners.
It’s my blog, and I’ll cry if I want to.
I dropped nine (9) T2 Catalysts on a Mackinaw, in a pulled 0.5.
It was buffed by two Orcas, implants, and a Loki.
I expected failure, and was not surprised.
The invulnerable miner, with his three Mackinaws, was pleased.
However, his main began to do math, while another miner sperged.
Local sentiment began shifting in my favor.
rathian‘s enthusiasm dissipated.
If everybody mines with invincible Mackinaws, the supply of ore will increase, and the price will drop. That’s bad news for any humanoid.
Ceterum, autem censeo fossoribus esse delendam.
Previously... double EHP miners were surprised by double DPS gankers.
Before long, double dead miners became double salty.
Raven x1 had an offer for Princess Aiko.
He is gonna murder rape her family, in real life!
He went on for hours, while Aiko listened to other miners.
From time to time, Aiko tried to change the subject.
For Aiko, this was just a normal EvE Online conversation.
She tried to help the miner calm down.
However, he was obsessing.
She wondered if he was serious?
He went on and on.
She simply could not change the subject.
So she returned to her fanmail.
Meanwhile, Raven was working through his feelings.
He thought about Aiko’s pretty face.
The thought drove him crazy.
He couldn’t stop thinking about her…
…and then he remembered her kid.
Raven is a real family man.
However, Aiko was distracted, reading her mail.
How could he get her attention?
He thought about it for a long time.
Maybe he could find her on Facebook?
Suddenly, he had a burst of inspiration.
Why not just ask her out?
Maybe she’d like that?
He hopes to hear from her soon.
However, there’s a lot of other suitors!
Against double EHP miners, I must engage griefer mode.
This is war, total war.
Double EHP miners don’t need to fit their ships. CCP does it for them.
CCP loves their innocent newbro Highsec miners.
Nevermind, I guess I’m the new player.
Raven was furious that his double EHP exhumer malfunctioned.
He was definitely not calm.
Yes, this is sexual harassment in EvE Online.
Antigankers are trashy people, defending trashy people.
‘Niceguy’ whiteknight HateLesS protected my abuser.
This is literally what antigankers support.
Alleil decided to tell her mother.
To be continued…