Glory to Ichinumi! GLORY TO AIKO!

My goodness, I’m busy.

You might yearn for the old days, when loyalanon dunked freighters in Uedama, and Super Perforator roleplayed at Ventures in Poinen. However, the new normal is that 41% of all ganking is Aiko. This is my time, my era. This is the future, and the ganking community is better than ever. Ganking is strong, because I am strong, and I am great, and I am a beautiful Princess in real-life, chaste and pure. Sometimes, I regret that I didn’t call the alliance AIKO, with AIKO as the ticker — but I’m not a narcissist.

Previously, we learned of Auviken, the first system to report more Safety ganks than CODE ganks. We then celebrated Unpas, the first system to endorse Safety as the #1 alltime alliance. Afterward, we heard of Waira, the first system to elect Aiko Danuja as the #1 alltime PvP champion. I am now pleased to present, the first system to simultaneously have Aiko listed as the top pilot of alltime, and Safety as the top alliance. Truly, we are well into a new era, and whilst Halaima might always be a spiritual Mecca, Ichinumi will be forever known as the site of Aiko’s impenetrable inner chamber.

Behold, Ichinumi, bastion of Aikodom. The miners of Ichinumi will always live with dread and fear in their pathetic hearts, for their system is 100% dangerous, and that is no place for a mining simp. If James 315 were alive today, he would give me a hug, and whisper in my ear to tell me how proud he is. We would hold hands, and laugh about all the losers, who failed to be here today. Good job Aiko! Thanks James!

Never Gonna Stop

Some people don’t appreciate our hard work.

They prefer to play with bots.

Well, we can’t please everyone.

Some of them, we don’t even want to please.

However, these miners are begging for attention.

We must keep them SAFE.

They might get frustrated (or abusive), but they need tough love.

Unlike nullsec blobbears, our work is creative and inspiring.

Across the galaxy, people are watching and approving.

EvE Online is the best game, ever!

Calm down miners.

Woah there.

I just want to help sad little carebears.

Send me money, and I’ll save a miner!

Service guaranteed!

Stay SAFE

Everyone is content.

They love their permits.

Miners just want to be SAFE.

Are you?

 

Battle of Torrinos, Postscript

Previously, we studied the battle of Torrinos, learning how Grand Admiralette Aiko defeated the evil Vast Empire.

We also learned more about the mental muddle, surrounding antiganking loser Everess 88. Princess Aiko wonders, in the third person, whether she goes too far in describing Highsec more ons as autistic reetards. Is this fair? Fortunately, Everess 88 decided to briefly unblock Aiko and fire off a quick clarification, before reblocking our glorious dear leaderess. Presented here, now, for the first time… Everess 88 on Everess 88.

Clarifying his mental afflictions, Everess included a creeper link to a Youtube song. Wow! After some reflection, Her Royal Majesty has linked another Youtube song for Everess to find, when he obsessively reads every word.

This is a friendly reminder to take your meds, always!

The Battle of Torrinos

When I’m not blogging, I sometimes undock.

I recently discovered a vast empire.

In distant Torrinos, the miners are always AFK.

However, they remember my previous visits.

I often cower in a nearby station.

So they sent their best man, HogTits, to camp me down.

He taunted me.

He brought an entire hit squad.

I was in serious trouble.

The miners knew who I was, and they weren’t scared.

I was trapped, and couldn’t escape.

The miners were mocking me.

They even summoned the antiganking main of antiganking loser Everess 88.

That’s the retard goofus who thinks the actual IRL year is 1984. Like wtf.

This was getting serious.

It all happened so fast.

Fortunately, Krig Povelli taught me a magic trick.

Australian Jesus came to my rescue, straight out of Halaima.

Everybody was amazed.

They never anticipated my counterattack.

It was clear who won the battle of Torrinos.

The wouldbe antigankers began to reconsider their choices.

Everess 88’s antiganking main was losing their respect. 

The battle was over, and birds began to chirp.

Everybody reflected on the experience.

One thing was crystal clear.

I have a Highsec PvP alt.

Thirty Five Percent

It’s hard being a miner.

However, mill3nialfalcon was proud to lose his CCP fit retriever.

Likewise, Fin Enarah is happy with pay to lose gaming.

Fin has been playing for a decade, but roleplays as a nub.

I’m glad he died.

Thanks to the December buff, I needed seven accounts to destroy his unfit vessel.

As a Highsec cheerleader, it’s my job to condemn mining buffs. CCP should stop catering to carebear whiners, and barges should not be tougher than combat cruisers. Why are Caracals weaker than Covetors? Why are Hulks stronger than Gilas?

***

I’ve examined the December buff, comparing the period from September 1 to December 1 (91 days), with the period from December 20 to March 21 (91 days).

HULKS

Hulks were dying at a rate of 16.8 per day, which increased to 18.4. The top four hulk killers were me, me, me and me. Now, the top five hulk killers are me, me, me, me, and me.  More hulks are dying, but I need more accounts. These changes disadvantaged lesser gankers, so my share of Hulkageddon increased from 8.5 to 17 percent.

MACKINAWS

I am also the top mackinaw killer in the game. Mackinaws were dying at a rate of 10.9 per day, which increased to 13.6. My share of Mackageddon increased from 11.7 to 19.6 percent. Amazing. Nice job Aiko!

SKIFFS

Skiffs were dying at a rate of 10.7 per day, but this declined to 6.9… 

AIKO MAKES A SPACESHEET

Procurers and skiffs were nerfed, along with rorquals, so miners switched to mackinaws and retrievers. Overall, fewer miners are dying.

What if we restrict our analysis to Highsec?

Highsec ganking has declined by 35%, even though I am ganking more. Solo gankers cannot realistically kill hulks, mackinaws, or even retrievers. Shouldn’t it be possible for Guybertini to kill a barge, without a battlecruiser? Come on…

Suitonia is on my pink list, after a snarky comment about how these changes will benefit “griefers”, because miners will fit bling. He also said some utter bullshit about miners not being AFK. Look, I can forgive Mike Azariah for his ignorance, since he doesn’t even play the game, but Suitona knows better. There’s no incentive to hunt ORE miners, when they have a 50% chance to drop, will be instantly scooped by an MTU, and it costs more than a hundred and fifty million isk to (maybe) kill the target. There’s no balance, whatsoever, and I’ve seen hordes of ORE mackinaws.

I’m the number one mackinaw hunter in the game – and it’s not worth it. I’m not going to do it, and neither are you. So, mackinaws are overpowered, with free reign to suck. What does that mean for the economy?

That’s exactly what I predicted, Mike. The value of white glaze is down 35%. Coincidentally, that’s the same percentage that Highsec ganking has declined. Moon ores are also declining. For example, Coesite is down thirty-five percent (a familiar number). It’s almost like nobody is able to gank those mackinaws.

Is this good for the game? I don’t think so, and miners agree with me.

rathian is a certified Mackiminer, and he gets it.

Oversupply encourages declining prices, with less isk/hr for miners. Buffs allow bots and AFK miners to thrive, competing against active human players. Every human should want Highsec gankers to kill bots, but due to recent changes, we can’t. Consequently, active players are being replaced with bots and passive AFK farmers.

EvE Online needs a dangerous Highsec.

xaxaxa)

If you are streaming, I might be following you.

Lionear Maricadie wasn’t SAFE.

Get on outta here!

I am the future of Highsec ganking.

You can go write your tears to James 315.

Even my enemies are in love with me.

We are just getting started.

The end is nigh.

That’s right!

xaxaxa)

We’re Baaaaaaaaaaaack

Welcome to Uedama.

I’ve been playing EvE Online.

Something is happening in Uedama.

What is going on?

It’s a party, in outer space.

It’s magical.

Uedama is a SAFE space.

Of course, some people are on the wrong side of history.

Antigankers thought they were winning.

However, the numbers don’t lie.

We are just getting started.

It’s only going to get better.

We are going to expand.

Antiganking Fails Again

I’m doing well.

Everybody agrees.

Except for my ‘sister’.

She’s a monster.

I never reported her, but CCP acted straight away.

Sad!

I told her what is up.

It turns out, she was an antiganker all along.

Under the mask, I discovered my old buddy Everess 88.

Antiganking fails again!

That’s right!

Antigankers (all of them) are mental in real life.

Yikes!

Antigankers are permalossers.