Why Mine?

A lot of One people felt I was hard on Andres.

Andres enjoys a relaxing mine.

That sounds like fun, right?

Why else would anyone mine?

Amazing content, in real-life and in EvE Online.

Andres, you have to choose, me or the ice.

It’s an addiction.

There’s only one solution.

Friends don’t let friends mine.

There’s much better content.

That’s why they call me Aiko.

It’s like a reverse Awox.

Yo, she cried less than Andres!

Internal Affairs Debrief – Bonus Extra Room 17T

I was cleared of all charges.

Mining Andres

Listening to: Minimal Techno Classic 3

That’s a lie.

Andres M Afanador is a Highsec miner.

Like most miners, he just doesn’t get it.

Andres, we are not into mining.

Recently, Andres began mining for BLACKFLAG.

Apparently, they’ve fallen on hard times.

Andres, you need a mining permit!

So then the ganks began…

A gentle reminder to stop mining.

He actually thought BLACKFLAG would protect him?

Breaking News: Andres M Afanador caught mining in Highsec.

Our leadership has a consensus.

We all wanted a solution, including Tweeps (aka James 315).

Meanwhile, Andres was (not) salty.

Andres isn’t in my alliance, and he is mining. Is that loyalty?

Andres, I find your loyalty insufficient.

The diplomatic situation was deteriorating.

Fortunately, my friends are not stupid.

Andres the antiganker failed again.

Nobody likes an antiganker.

This is how things work in Highsec.

Stop mining.

Pay your taxes.

Obey the CODE. Safety agents.

Seek help.

Never go full miner.

Those minerals I mine are freeREEE!

Andres had a little too much ice.

I hope he calms down.

That might be difficult.

Bee well!

Good Clean Fun

Listening to: Aftermath

Trigger Warning: EvE Online

Oh my, that one really crossed the line…

From time to time, we review CCP’s character name policy.

They take inappropriate names very seriously.

Let’s take a quick stroll through Search…

Everything looks fine here!

CCP has already addressed the most sensitive subjects.

EvE Online is a SAFE space.

No racism or inappropriate sexual content here!

Can you find the naughty word?

Hmph! Me neither…

Just harmless fun in EvE Online.

It’s impossible to get a naughty name past the GM team!

Anything catch your eye?

No worries here.

If nobody has killed themself in 7 years, it’s fine!

Just good clean fun for everyone.

As you can see, CCP is on top of it.

Nothing even remotely questionable here!

A decade is plenty of time to catch these bad boys!

This year, we award CCP a Gold Star.

Long gone are the days of blatantly offensive gamer names.

This is now a wholesome family game!

Every conceivable topic has been thoroughly addressed.

CCP is super woke.

Ok, see ya next year.

Have fun!

haha

=BEHIND THE SCENES=

The AWOX Files

Everybody knows the story.

Awox the awoxer, who awoxed his friends and family.

It sounds legit.

We’ve heard the story many times.

However, Awox always told a different tale…

He wasn’t an awoxer at all!

We brought him in for a quick interview.

This led to a surprising revelation.

I introduce to you, Awox the friendly carebear.

He couldn’t awox a fly.

He thinks awoxing is toxic.

The true story, according to Awox, is that the Mittani is a pedo.

Awox’s name is a tribute to his former employer’s beloved grandmother.

The goons invented griefplay to impugn her memory.

What a nice guy!

Awox prefers that people use my name, Aiko.

He’s also a fan!

…and now you know, the rest of the story.

=AFTERWORD=

SuperDildo

Listening to: Infamous

Trigger Warning: Actual gameplay in EvE Online!

SuperDildo is an antiganker.

Like all antigankers, he is racist, sexist, homophobic, and stupid.

After several humiliating losses, SuperDildo wanted to chat.

He had a lot to say.

This went well.

I just want three men and a Lambo.

A hooby like me needs it bad.

He (or she?) started getting all excited.

Russian men go crazy for a distracting circle jerk.

Afterward, I helped him relax.

I’m glad he had fun!

It’s nice to have new friends.

What a wholesome game!

CCP takes this all very very seriously.

Muffy, call me!

Breaking NEWS

Listening to: Satyagraha

It finally happened.

Calm down miner is official.

Like it or not, but I’ve made EvE history.

Hrothbear was the first of many. A funny story about that… He was so desperate to pad his killboard, vowing to NOT SPEAK to anyone who linked the killmail on Zkill. Naturally, Sargon did it about a minute later, leading Saltgar to cry, running away from a chorus of “Calm down miner.” Now, years later, he can relive the experience!

Meanwhile, darkolus has begun his own descent into madness.

Ganked by Nazes, he vowed revenge.

darkolus > No, I’m just going to ruin the channel
Aiko Danuja > doubt
John Steelmerc > the only things miners ruin are our precious natural veldspar belts
Aaaarrgg > darkolus please dont mess up the channel with your miner salt, thats not our thing
Aiko Danuja > Kill: Phat Phil (Griffin)
Aiko Danuja > Kill: rajehem (Obelisk)
darkolus > you’re just ruining this game…
Dave Gates > darkolus ur face is ruining this channel now take a hike already. they’re creating content. if you don’t like it then leave like a sour puss & GTFO
darkolus > No… i won’t… my face gonna keep ruinning this channel…

He is a dark ugly little man…

With broken sentence fragments, he sought revenge.

He even invented a slogan…

…and a business plan!

My channel was ruined by bad grammar and incoherent phrases.

He griefed on me hard.

…but why was he griefing me?

What a crazy miner!

Cheerzah!



Merry Gankmas!

Hi!

I logged in, and was immediately ambushed…

It was the ghost of spring past.

Kotojo doubled my Christmas cheer.

Another happy miner.

Cheerzah!

That’s right.

THE END

Miners never understand the Gankmas spirit.

Oh well.

Anyways…

Don’t forget to claim your FREE quarter-penny unfit frigate!

BONUS CHRISTMAS SALT