Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
The Second Battle of Torrinos began in Uchomida.
A Klingon yellowboxed us without provocation.
Things went too far.
Whups.
What an absolute failure.
Just wait until tomorrow.
Oh, it’s gonna go very well.
The target moved to Torrinos.
Wow, just wow.
To be continued…
Listening to: Wierdo Minmatar Trash
Hey there!
Miners are crazy.
Check out Huan’s wierdo miner fantasy!
He spent hours and hours (days and weeks) on this…
Antigankers are looooooooosers.
I guess this one is counting to revenge?
Even a lowskill knows miners are bad.
Bro, what’s a lowsec?
I’m high as a kite.
What are you on?
Listening to: You Got Ganked
As part of his postgank art therapy, MarkeeDragon commissioned a song to commemorate his grief.
…and now, our feature presentation…
Hey there.
On Reddit, crabs conspire.
This carebear wants to expand Highsec.
How did the lowsec community respond?
Next up, another carebear loser.
Crybabies just want easy AFK isk.
Everybody hates Safety.
Garr gaunkers gunk.
Why can’t miners AFK in peace?
Think about the newbro Hulks!
Reeeeeee, why can’t new players boomervets get free easy isk?
Where did all the miners go??
I guess they all left… right?
Some people don’t even know what they are crying about!
Ganking should be theoretically allowed, but practically impossible.
Imagine a sandbox with walls and guardrails.
Let’s get rid of those evil meanies!
The tears never stop.
Yep, another 2004 returning crybaby.
Are there any new players at all?
Oh look, another 2008 returning crybaby.
Hey, check out the 2012 returning newbro!
Question: Is whining about ganking a nullsec recruitment tactic?
I’m sensing a consensus.
One guy had a whole story…
Is this whinefest a Snuffed Out advertisement?
Hey, a 2014 returning crybaby has a theory.
What do you think?
Cheerzah!
=FINAL WORDS=
<=BONUS SALT=>
=PvP PLAYER RESPONSE=
That’s right.
Previously, Tee Ka tried Highsec PvP.
He lost a lot.
Tee Ka knows I am honest and true.
He’s like a father to me.
We often spend holidays together.
We are there for each other.
For Father’s Day, I played EvE Online with Daddy.
He doesn’t fit his ships very well.
He didn’t appreciate the surprise party.
I don’t even have a blob!!
We had a real heart to heart.
Tee Ka wants to get rich poor quick.
I invited him ganking.
That sounds fun!
His alts are excited to join.
To be continued…
Hey there.
I’m a subject matter expert (SME).
Welcome to Part II of my FanFest Presentation.
Miners have been stalking gankers for years.
Sometimes, they just want to say hi.
Believe it or not, there are women in the galaxy.
I’m doing great, btw.
You just can’t win Incels Online.
Some people can’t decide if I’m a guy or a girl.
Bro…
In game or out of game.
Ain’t no man getting attention like this.
If I ‘win’ EvE, at least you’ll know why.
Regardless, boys only want one thing from me.
Whatever I am, they love it.
Honestly, some of them are just plain crazy.
He wants me to commit suicide, in real life.
Blocking him doesn’t work.
I’ve blocked him at least 100 times.
Ain’t I a woman?
(yes he drew that)
Here’s the same guy, a month later.
Same guy, twenty minutes later.
Three minutes later.
Another month later.
See what I mean?
Oh look, another antiganker.
These plebs are obsessed with me, in real life.
I deserve it – right?
Oh boy, it never stops.
The diagnosis is clear.
I’m gonna blog.
Some of this is funny.
Most of it is cringe.
Some of it is mental.
All of it is batshit crazy.
Oh man, I really missed out.
What???
Uh…
Anyways…
No!
To be continued…
=Trigger Warning: EvE Online=
Miners have a lot to say.
Previously, on my best EvE Online blog.
Miners think about me a lot.
It’s a competition, to see who obsesses the most.
Yep, I’m lookin great.
[ 2024.08.25 22:15:53 ] Kathus > onlyganks.com
I don’t mind a little flattery.
However, antigankers go too far.
They take it from awkward to creepy.
It gets a little weird.
I’m not looking for a boyfriend in EvE Online.
Sorry to disappoint.
Uh…
Wtf is a sparrow?
I’m not a tsundere! Hmph.
I actually haven’t read all these mails.
See, that’s where it gets crazy…
Bro…
We aren’t going to Iceland together.
Steven, my guy… you mail me all the time.
To be continued…
Yesterday, we saw the burden of alliance leadership.
Voluminous unsolicited correspondence.
Oh boy…
Thanks for the intel.
I get lot of inquiries.
It’s not a cult. We are a congregational Fellowship of Friendos.
Next time, we’ll talk about sexual harassment in EvE Online.
That’s right.
That’s not gonna happen.
Like wtf.
Yep, that’s an antiganker.
Oh, hey there.
I guess it’s mailtime.
Some miners are not upset.
They are quite calm.
Some miners roleplay as notaminers.
No mining in Delve!
That’s right.
This Orca had plenty of ‘no’ warning…
It was all a setup! The miner exposed CCP’s evil ways.
I’m the most upvoted person in EvE forum history.
Unlike some people, I actually play EvE Online.
I get way too much email (unlike James, I don’t have a cute secretary).
It is funny tho.
A mining sniper, and not even his first time…
Bro has been doing that longer than I’ve played.
Send me one billion isk, buy 5 get one free.
Boy, I got so much game up in here.
Wow, just wow.
I can’t wait to hear more.
That’s right.
I won’t tolerate griefing in my alliance.
Sure thing, little buddy.
Ah, but I’m also cute.
That’s my isk/hr.
Hey, I’m having fun)
Absolute Order has a pro streamer.
Cat Sky is concerned about “gay furry hackers” in EvE Online.
He sure do talk a lot….
…and he’s more than a little salty.
Some people “play the game without paying attention.”
Wow, just wow.
Cat Sky is not an EvE Partner.
Nor is he calm.
What a guy.
He just needs a mining permit.
Cat Sky admits the following IRL offenses:
Grand Theft Auto (multiple counts)
Grand Theft Firearm (multiple counts)
Theft of Motor Vehicle License Plate (multiple counts)
Destruction of Government Property (multiple counts)
Organized Retail Theft (multiple counts)
Assault and Battery (multiple counts)
Terroristic Threats (multiple counts)
Armed Robbery (multiple counts)
Wire Fraud (multiple counts)
Conspiracy (multiple counts)
Solicitation (multiple counts)
Trafficking (multiple counts)
Burglary (multiple counts)
Sedition (multiple counts)
Arson (multiple counts)
He calls us “born worthless skibidi PoS loser toilet goblins.”
However…
We’ve met Cat Sky before.
Here’s his first big movie:
Now he has another banger.
“Piece of shit Reddit toilet bugs
Boiling up out of the skibidi toilet internet
Piece of shit Reddit losers boiling up
Out of the goddamn boring loser internet dregs
Using the only power they got
Little internet keyboard warrior losers”
“You are a fucking skibidi toilet born loser piece of shit ass nobody cares all seven thousand people are trolling you fucking loser ass. I don’t care if you morph into something else, some born loser thing, I don’t care if you do. I’ve had seven idiots like you join the club, nobody cares about your born loser PIECE OF SHIT ASS FUCKING STALKER CYBER BULLY BULLSHIT FUCKING LOSER ASSES THEY ALL KNOW IT ALL SEVEN THOUSAND OF THEM ARE LAUGHING AT YOU… and it’s not some lie, it’s actually like this.”
Cheerzah brav!
=BEHIND THE SCENES=
=FINAL COMMENTS=
What’s going on?
Sounds amazing.
Imagine that.
Why are they defenseless?
Why gank a defenseless AFK carebear?
That’s right.
That’s right.
Look at that groupthink downvote.
Reasonable people rarely get upvotes.
Crybabies rage downvote the truth.
Idiots get upvoted.
Bro, nobody enjoys mining.
Carebears are looooosers.
Loooooooooooooosers.
Everyone on Reddit has something to say.
Mostly, the bears cried.
Miners just don’t get it.
Give me your diamonds, or die.
So they whined, on and on.
Boohoohoo.
Boomers boomed about glory days.
Seers spake of ancient prophecies.
Trolls spread cruel gossip.
Antigankers shared tips and tricks.
Agents shared deep state intel.
Therapists offered their diagnosis.
Others wallowed in despair.
Gankers are the same people who play Zerg!
Another invigorating conversation with Reddit[censored]…
TLDR: Stay away from people who can’t PvP!
That’s right.
Why do I gank?
I just don’t like miners.
Kill them all.
