Funerals – Page 2 – ‎James 315 Space

You Won’t Believe (or will you?)

Only the faithful believe my incredible stories.

I’m a legend in my own time.

I’m making a difference in EvE Online.

I’ve even had some conversations.

> Oh Aiko, you are a doll.

Many like what I have to say.

“I started with dogfucker Don, and then I moved on to the anti-Semite, and finally I came for the n-word users and that CODE. neo-Nazi who keeps humming Das Horst-Wessel-Lied in Teamspeak… Did you know that song is illegal?“

Like I actually have to explain this.

CCP knows the truth about me.

I don’t really scam people.

It’s more of a polite request.

I just kill enemies (or befriend them).

Dreams do come true!

This antiganker know I’m fun and interesting.

A lot of people love me.

I know plebs won’t believe this.

I’m a real-life space witch.

There is a force stronger than PvP.

MANIFEST DESTINY!

My enemies admire and respect me.

I’m happy to help.

This is what the new New Order is all about!

Convert your items into killmails.

Give your stuff to Aiko Danuja.

Thanks for everything.

I often converse with the deceased.

I learned from the best.

Praise James 315! \o/

I’m gentle at the end.

Unlike griefers, I have no malicious intent.

The best thing in the galaxy is friendship with me.

I know I’m the best!

Some people can’t get enough…

He’ll be back.

THE GANKBEARS, aggrieved at having no established Executor, sent ambassadors to James 315 entreating for a King. Perceiving their aspirations, he cast down the CODE. The bears were terrified at the splash occasioned by its fall and hid themselves in the depths of Uedama. But as soon as they realized that the huge treatise was motionless, they swam again to the top of the water, dismissed their fears, climbed up, and began squatting on it in contempt. After some time they began to think themselves ill-treated in the appointment of so inert a Ruler, and sent a second deputation to James praying that he would set over them another sovereign. He then gave them Super Perforator. When the bears discovered his simple nature, they sent yet a third time, begging James to choose another. James, most displeased with all of them, unleashed a Princess who preyed upon the bears till there were none left.

Mining Blues

It’s not easy being a miner.

They have many questions.

There are no easy answers.

The truth never pleases them.

Surprise!

I like to sell them a new ship.

I guess he paid 400 million?

I wanted to make sure he got something.

Another valuable ~~lesson~~ advertisement.

Don’t be a miner!

=POST SCRIPT=

Malangor > I wish you all the worst … they made a deal where I paid 400 million to get my ship back … which of course didn’t happen !!!!!!!!!!!!
Malangor > i wish you all the worst in the world
Malangor > F*** UUUUU
Malangor > and i hope you break your little toe tomorrow Malangor > but we had a deal i payed today 400million today
Malangor > already send 400 million to Aiko Danuja
Malangor > and i recieve nothing
Malangor > end u destroyed my Orca with 2 Hulks
Malangor > Is that understandable for your brain
Malangor > so Do you understand now why I feel so screwed? Malangor > !
Malangor > why destroyed my orca ? hm?
Malangor > u take my Hulk
Malangor > therefore f U

Safety is Dead

Carebears have a desperate dream.

James 315 is dead, and salty at me (or so they hope).

Miners are kinda dumb.

I’ll try to explain…

Here is an example.

This old meme charts the tragic lifecycle of a typical PvP player. At first, they gleefully trumpet their existence, then they count isk, and finally they notice all the “good” targets are gone – “game is dead, bro.” It’s true, any nerd can buy killmails, but many end their lives with the nagging sensation that they wasted years. For what? The fate of top tier players is actually kind of grim. They openly question whether it was worth the time, and then they are gone forever, forgotten by the disinterested sands of time. They literally regret succumbing to what can only be considered an autistic obsessive compulsion. #sad2see!

In contrast, things are going well for us.

As seen in many preceding posts on this fine blog, we’ve done something different with the mighty ~~CODE.~~ Safety. alliance. As gankbears, nullbears, lowbears, and wormbears grow increasingly bitter and despondent, the Safety alliance is evolving each and every day. The old regime collapsed precisely because it followed the doomed path of the PvP pleb, but my friends chart a different course.

Unlike our wannabe rivals, we take to heart the prophetic words of James 315. Mere ganking is no better than mining, as ganking alone cannot build a true civilization. Killboard grinding is no different than mindless farming. Ganking for isk is a pathetic and contemptible act, not unlike collecting Pokemon cards. In the end, nobody actually cares bro. All that isk won’t buy you a single friend. People will only care about me, and that is as it should always be, just as James intended.

That’s right.

Facts!

Only true faith can guide us, and what is better than knowing that the permanent destruction of our enemies (whom I erased from history) has opened doorways beyond imagination. For example, what might transpire if all the good targets fled wormholes? What might transpire, if CCP encouraged this by buffing Highsec PvE? In such a world, as we now find ourselves in, one thing is becoming clear.

Highsec miners are no longer poor.

A steady stream of rental income is flowing into our coffers – specifically, my personal wallets. Tune in tomorrow, for another example which once again verifies and substantiates my rightful claim to be the greatest capsuleer in the history of EvE Online. I’ll give you a subtle hint, it’s going to involve me selling yet another mining permit.

Isn’t that the truth?

Three Timing Felix

In EvE Online, love is risky.

Recently, Felix got in trouble.

Apparently, he made his new girl CEO.

~~She~~He took everything!

What a dunce.

I hope they are happy together.

Meanwhile, I feel betrayed.

Felix has been lying to me for a long time.

He never sent those flowers.

Instead, he sent them to my friend.

He even called ~~her~~him a princess!

Wtf?

Felix also went after my alts.

You know what kind of man does that?

He went through my whole channel.

Felix only wanted one thing from me.

He acted like he would buy me a nice meal.

What girl doesn’t love grilled Matari?

However, men always want something else.

Goodbye Felix.

To be continued…

Some dogs just can’t stay away.

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #254

On Loop: Shoot the Miner

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #253

Occasionally, we read old mail.

The people stay in touch.

I don’t mind.

Many write from beyond the grave.

They haunt my friends.

The dead love to rattle their chains.

They often feel wronged.

Don’t mess with a gangster mommy.

Miners also mail my alts!

I should write that one back…

I’ve got unread mail to and from people that no longer exist.

I have correspondence with permabanned has-beens.

Those losers sure have a lot to cry about.

Oh well!

Every miner has something to say.

Some miners just spam.

Others beg for mercy.

I am so glad/sorry that happened to your Viper?

Don’t invade Highsec!

In EvE Online, trash talk has consequences.

F.L.Y.S.A.F.E.

Welcome back to Jaschercis

Listening to: Some Miner Reading the CODE.

…and now we return to Highsec.

Recently, I met JALUTAK the miner.

I’ve decided to let ChatGPT illustrate our adventures.

Of course, I took him out.

He is in a better place now.

I’m basically his best friend.

In fact, I’m his only friend.

A Father’s Disappointment

Listening to: Dark Synthwave

Not every father is so proud.

Odboko Atild Sr. was not happy.

Birthday party ruined(((

Even birthday criminals go to jail.

I tried to help.

He just replied with strange requests.

Miners are kinda weird.

Another victory for Team Safety!

That’s right.

At least I’m having fun!

Check out this neat trick.

Saint JB Hitmarker

This is a paid advertisement.
Publish your essay here, for 1 billion isk.

Saint Jb Hitmarker, known as great philosopher and vanguard of FRT elite force. He has been obsessed with AO and Highsec Miners since the old days.

Known as great Highsec Saviour & Ganker

He is known with great reputation and full trustworthiness to ‘Help’ the miners and new players of Highsec, by ganking them. In the name of making the game better and ‘Improve the community’

Our Saint Jb Hitmarker, regardless he wants to ‘help’ the community of EvE, he met many difficulties on his holy path. He was firstly in FRT Highsec Academy, then left and joined ‘Star Nation’ inside of CVA, then he flipped side again, back to FRT.

Of course, we can not judge a Saint’s loyalty, it is beyond our capacity to do, after all, he is a Saint Anti-Fascist hero and a big hero for trying to save Highsec by ganking everyone randomly !

Sadly, not everyone agrees about our great Saint’s opinion. After he flipped to FRT, CVA, then FRT again, our Saint got removed and kicked and voted out by Kenshin. as a group decision.

Under our Saint’s command, he successfully wiped an Azbel of Test which was worth almost 23 Billion.

Our Saint, great hero, Jb Hitmarker, after getting voted out by his own group that he played together for more than 1 year, joined of course another corp of FRT ‘C5’ then recently, he left C5 again.