MarkeeGankedon

I guess MarkeeDragon is a streamer?

A criminal too…

He’s also hostile??

Apparently, this is his alt???

Oof. That freighter looks like some kind of fat beetle, getting swarmed by ants and slowly ripped apart.

Now, Markee claims CCP gives him preferential treatment (as they do for all streamers), and CCP nobility blesses his stream. He threw out some big namedrops to prove he is CCP approved, and I swiftly recognized one of those names. Clearly, based on this political reality, I must tread carefully, to delicately address a claim which Markee repeatedly alleged (before retracting, and then realleging, and then retracting, before realleging). He accused me of cheating!

So, here is the question of the day – was Markee streamsniped (and thereby griefed, in violation of rules which don’t forbid streamsniping, even though carebears pretend otherwise)?

The answer, believe it or not, is no.

For some reason, perhaps because he got dunked, Markee declined to preserve video evidence. Regardless, any investigation will unveil Mr Markee was indeed autopiloting directly toward me. He tried to argue that he wasn’t, based on his physical proximity to a keyboard, but I watched his stream and heard the phrase “Autopilot Engaged” followed by “Autopilot Jumping”. As Eve Online’s most professional streamsniper, my services were clearly not needed here – autopilot ensured Markee’s inevitable demise. In this particular case, the sniper rolled her eyes, rested her rifle on its tripod, and patiently waited.

Let’s see what streamer simps had to say.

Mmhmm.

As always, they tried to shame us for PvP.

They claim Weekend Kusion Aikos are afraid.

This is the most typical whining.

We’ve heard it ten thousand times before.

Cool chat.

That’s right.

Cheerzah!

Absolute Pleb

It’s not griefing, when you are sincerely salty.

Losers can say whatever they want in EvE Online.

Eventually, he found me.

Gankers have to follow CCP’s EULA.

Crybabies enjoy free speech.

What a guy.

He’s absolutely salty.

This went on for a few days.

Meanwhile, the Absolute Pleb discord had a laugh.

It’s not harassment, when you are bad at EvE Online.

This is what antigankers do.

That’s appropriate language for a miner.

Let’s see what else he had to say.

PLOT TWIST: He likes me more than you)))))) xD

Miners can use all the bad words.

PLOT TWIST: He has a crush on me.

What a classy guy.

I have a solution for miners like him.

There’s your warning, buddy.

PLOT TWIST: Gankers are the coolest people in the galaxy.

Welcome to reality, little guy.

That’s right.

Tee Ka’s Big Revenge

Tee Ka Gets PKd, Part 1

That’s right.

That’s right!

Tee Ka is a friendly miner.

He’s been around a while.

His alts like to talk him up.

These stories are unbelievable.

Tee Ka is also prone to emotional outbursts.

This is because he was defeated, again and again.

Along the way, his other alt learned to eject.

This is fine with us.

We’ve given him fair warning.

We’ve tried to help.

There he is, a known neutral.

Recently, Tee Ka leveled up…

He ganked an explorer!!!

Even with carebear mods, ganking is harder than it looks.

As Tee Ka celebrated his great revenge…

…he soon discovered kill rights.

Then we ganked him back (again and again).

Two can play that ganker game!

He’s gradually accepted reality.

Another happy miner.

Good for him!

*****POSTSCRIPT*****

Tee Ka went on to die many more times.

CheerZAH!

Avalanche Down (2x)

Previously, the Avalanche was overpowered

However, today we made history.

So yah, I logged into EvE Online…

Antigankers were already waiting.

They are kinda dumb.

Today, we are fishing in Uedama.

Hey there.

Great teamwork.

Op success.

Another fake gank.

That’s right.

Later that day…

***RUMORS AND INTEL***

***BEHIND THE SCENES***

***EXTERNAL LINKS***

The Brisc Rubal Home for Hot Unwed Mothers

Cheers!

Guide to Absolute Victory

Guest Article

Hey, everybody, I’m Gallente Holostar, lead theorycraft design team lead for the Imperium.

Aiko made a map.

There are nine systems of interest: Torrinos, Ibura, Yoma, Oipo, Piak, Elonaya, Onnamon, Uuhulanen, and Uchomida. The miners congregate here and about. We have put a stop to all that, effective immediately. Come join us, as we continue our investigation.

*Facts and Evidence*

The miners use their Highsec wealth to rent in nullsec.

We hate Romania, so we started bumping.

Question: If Nagamac mines in Highsec, to pay rent in nullsec, what happens if he can’t mine in Highsec?

Just think about it.

Absolute Trash

Listening to: Cat Sky

Remember Cat Sky?

He’s an Absolute Pleb.

Oh, what did you say?

Now you’ve got my attention (again), Mr Lee.

It’s been a busy week, hasn’t it?

Apparently, RoCket X needs my help.

I’m always happy to help a friend.

There’s only one concentration camp allowed in Highsec…

It’s time to evict these Absolute Wannabes!

That’s called justice.

Nobody likes an Absolute Bear.

Ya know what this means?

Welcome to Absolute Safety.

Zivix Spiroski > u dogshit of a persone
Zivix Spiroski > hunting your ass down
Zivix Spiroski > ALL DAY LONG!
Zivix Spiroski > u don’t know me
Zivix Spiroski > i know u irl

That’s right.

That’s right!

Generous donations always accepted.

To be continued…

End of an Era, Part 14

End of an Era, Part 1

This Juneteenth, we celebrate.

Are ganking days over forever?

Wow! A new Uedama alltime record!

We now return to our regularly scheduled content.

The miners united against us.

They didn’t want to pay.

They had nothing to offer.

Just the news.

You don’t say?

Miners don’t like to pay.

Will FBI tactics work in EvE Online?

Would ISIS Safety just go away?

They tried to stay positive.

The FBI really inspired them.

Well, ok then.

We needed a new plan.

Indeed, this focus was different.

We definitely said thank you…

We were very encouraged.

Someone paid, didn’t they?

Oh yes, that’s right.

How much?

35 billion isk, or mom dies.

They paid 35b, to PvE in Highsec, for one week.

To be continued…

Griefing Gone Wild

Listening to: Snoop

Hot or not?

Hey there.

You know how I do.

Just Aiko things.

We especially love to grief newbros.

TrickyNicky started off as an antiganker’s miner.

I walked all over him.

Hey. If you can’t beat me, join me.

Well, he tried his best.

This way little guy.

Wow, there you go!

Now that’s a neat trick, Nick!

Haha, we sure griefed that poor newbro streamer.

That’s how you play EvE Online.

When the miner’s in the belt
Drop it like it’s hot
Drop it like it’s hot
Drop it like it’s hot
When CONCRD try to get at you
Gank it like it’s hot
Gank it like it’s hot
Gank it like it’s hot
And if a freighter get a attitude
Pop it like it’s hot
Pop it like it’s hot
Pop it like it’s hot

And I roll the best weed ’cause I got it going on
Uh! I’m a nice gal, with some nice dreams
See these Catalysts, see these Coercers?
High security, million isk boats
The interior like red
Killer with the beat, I know killers that are elite
You should think about it, take a second

I’m a gangsta, but y’all knew that
Da Big Boss B, yeah I had to do that
Ain’t no other way to play the game the way I play
I can’t fake it, just break it, and when I take it
See I specialize in making all the miners get safe

End of an Era, Part 13

End of an Era, Part 1

Incursion bears are down and out.

Losing is never fun.

One by one, ‘leaders’ continue to resign.

We are much more organized than them.

We erased their isk!

Spreadsheet don’t lie.

Yet another ‘leader’ abandoned their own community.

Nobody needs a carebear FC…

Indeed.

Let’s gooooo!

Will Hawk keep going?

Of course…

Meanwhile, ex-leader Sasha continues to undermine morale.

GAME OVER

To be continued…