Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Previously, we met lorrenzo nub.
lorrenzo doesn’t like us.
So he began building a space army.
However, first he went mining.
Ahbazon is a SAFE space.
As a findom, I expect tribute.
Of course, he also needed a mining permit.
Lorrenzo was happy, because mining permits are real.
Oh no!
Drone Task Force was on the case…
To be continued…
I went a’whoring in nullsec.
I have more isk destroyed than entire alliances.
I do elite nullsec PvP.
Everybody was happy to see me.
I even offered bonus rounds.
Good times in EvE Online.
Killi got griefed in Highsec.
The celebrity had an important announcement.
However, he erased it.
Instead, he had a personal message for me.
“Bitch is gonna fuckin die” (direct quote).
Well, I got a message for you, Killiwutsurname.
You already done died, buttercup.
Haha, what a goofbear.
TRIGGER WARNING: MEAN WORDS
I always think, ya know, I got other things I’d rather do than play EvE Online, or write about it… but then I log in, and encounter the incredible stupidity of Idiocracy Online.
Previously, I discussed how incompetent antigankers continually fail, whilst roleplaying success. It’s never clear what they accomplished, but they sure as hell didn’t stop any gankers.
Recently, we spotted Highsec Plebtards camping Juunigashi with Stormbringers, desperately hoping to sperg lightning bolts in a windowlicking attempt to save a freighter.
The obvious solution was to warp into Uedama (with the dummydumdums following like Keystone Cops), as we then warped into Ikao, and back into Juunigashi to kill the target.
I could not conceal my contempt.
I honestly question the time I’ve invested in EvE, but at least I’m going down in history as the all time greatest. However, how does one justify investing even more time (years more than me), and yet failing to come close? It’s like, when you are slamming homeruns out of the stadium, how can you possibly have respect for a permapleb who is drunk on antifreeze and all-you-can-eat chilidogs?
Running a bunch of alts is bad enough, but imagine running a bunch of alts and failing to accomplish anything!
Apparently, some people refer to their alts as “we”.
The antiganker posed an interesting question…
I once heard of a turboautist, who wasted years following Jason, Joe/Bob, Aussie, brainlet, Benji, loyal/Trump, etc.
This goblok would always believe he saved a freighter, proudly proclaiming, “Freighter saaaaaaaaved.”
I simply cannot stand a stupid man.
However, did “we” save the freighter?
Apparently not!
Suddenly, the loser didn’t want to gloat.
Eventually, he showed the true nature of the whiteknight.
I believe him.
I’m cute!
Miners ask silly questions.
What do you think?
V3rbal also wanted his ship back.
He’s just a 2009 newbro.
With years of experience, he tried a little trick.
It’s the ol “gimme my ship back” scam.
We did our best to help him out.
It’s always a pleasure to help newbros.
Another happy customer.
I hope he enjoyed his space adventure.
Game Over.
The once mighty CODE. alliance had terminal autism.
Literally, autism.
NOL Director Super Perforator was unwell.
Super declared war on Aiko!
He roleplayed “victory”.
Victorious gankers should stop ganking. Right?
Super Perfie had no time for gankers.
Perfie preferred antigankers.
However, a princess cannot abide antigankers…
So Super Perforator ban/muted all the gankers.
Perfie was seduced by antiganker “agent” Knowledgeminer
Fortunately, Aiko has powerful friends in Highsec.
Knowledgeminer was arrested!
However, Super Perforator continued to harbor antigankers.
Meanwhile, Perfie autistically denied the death of James 315.
Inevitably, The Conference Elite denounced New Order Logistics.
Everyone said NOL is trash.
So TCE decided to form a new alliance, without NOL.
Stay tuned for a brief history of the CODE. alliance.
To be continued…
Bee well.
I love helping Highsec miners.
I also help lowsec bears.
Kuben craved attention.
However, he had no time for poors.
Kuben wanted the boss b.
So he went to the source.
We were amazed.
Kuben is a real money man.
PLOT TWIST: Kuben is also a secret agent!
He’s watching me!
Kuben infiltrated deep inside.
I’m surrounded by traitors!
Kuben knows what I did.
The truth is out.
DOPPLE TWIST: I actually am a secret agent.
I will cut a b.
I done did it.
I have so many names.
You can’t stop any of me.
We are already closer than you realize.
It’s way too late.
In EvE Online, only one name matters.
That’s right!
Everybody knows it.
You love it.
Cheers!
I’ve lived through a lot of EvE history. The IRL death of James 315, the extinction of TEST, the purging of Mittens (also IRL), the dissolution of the Imperium, and now we observe the end of TDF.
Like most newbro friendly pedo guilds, TDF was dedicated to maximizing their isk/hr, via Highsec incursions.
These losers thought they were cool, but…
All autism must end.
The war was over before it began.
Wow, that was actually really easy.
Profitable too.
I hope TDF had as much fun as we did…
Cheerios!
Another dead miner, and another great video.
GalactusGalactuss also released a music video.
Unfortunately, Galactus is being salty again.
He left my Discord in a huff.
Why do some people have to be cringy, always?
Meanwhile, gankbear MacGybo also made a video.
The video is incredibly boring.
Ganking for isk/hr is newbro friendly.
MacGybo prides himself on “profit” – legitimate gameplay.
However, miner permit roleplay is TOXIC.
Ethical gankers only kill newbros who lag out in Jita.
Hold on. I gotta say, like, wow. Before I ever even heard of EvE Online, before I ever started playing the game, this guy was camping the Jita undock and taking advantage of new players.
I never took 29 billion isk from a one day old character. However, MacGybo has the hypocritical audacity to claim that I am the griefer. You can debate whether I’ve driven a new player to quit, but you can be absolutely certain MacGybo has. That’s a fact.
We now return to ongoing Hateless drama.
In his own discord, Hateless is on the defensive.
Hateless has been struggling to gain sympathy.
Adrian Vexier made a compelling defense.
What will happen next?
Will Hateless get revenge on the space bully griefer guild?
Believe it or not, but EvE Online is a PvP game. Players fight over resources, in a battle royale. As an analogy, consider the game Fortnite. In the image below, you can see a miner, harvesting ore.
Of course, there’s always a little cutie with a ponytail, who won’t hesitate to shoot a hapless miner.
Carebears whine and moan endlessly, complaining about those meanie “griefers” who engage in PvP. One crybaby recently gave me permission to share his tears with you.
Thank you Hateless.
Hateless sees no problem with “griefing” in nullsec, but he cries foul when someone touches him in Highsec.
I know what you are asking.
Earlier today, Adrian Vexier decided to bump an Orca.
I could have shot Hateless (again), but I was already shooting someone else, so the crybaby miner was perfectly safe. Ultimately, nobody ganked Hateless, but he is still crying.
Nobody shot Hateless. Nevertheless, the mere presence of another player was enough to “provoke an emotional response”. Hateless was frustrated that another player was playing the game. So he sat down next to his motorcycle, and quit his space “job”.
EvE Online “stream fleet” partners are coddled by CCP. They get free handouts, free plex, free skins, and free advertising. Apparently, it’s just not enough. Hateless merely wants to get paid for not playing, with no hassle from the other players.
Minerbumping is a timeless tradition. Consequently, I have no idea how Hateless can feel entitled to mine in Highsec, with a fleet of Hulks, and yet he throws a temper tantrum whenever someone bumps his Orca. What does he expect is going to happen?
Apparently, if you declare Highsec mining to be your “job”, then you can claim harassment because other players are interfering.
Hateless simps rallied to his defense.
New players deserve protection!
Everyone is discussing how to stop gameplay in a game.
Oh boohoohoo, the miner can’t maximize his isk/hr.
Honestly, CCP should stop enabling carebears.
Highsec miners should be banned from the Partner program.
They can go play a different game.
Seriously, just go.
It’s literally a game.
I will give the final word to Dex.
