For Thanksgiving, he sacrificed his harvest to the gods.
Yea, and the gods were amused.
=BONUS CONTENT=
What happened?
Szpoti Returns to Highsec
Category: Kills of the Week
Death of an antiganker
Bloody Bear loves antiganking.
Back in the day, he even made illegal videos.
One day, justice finally caught up with him.
At first, Bloody Bear tried a bribe.
Of course, Krig had to confiscate the stolen ship.
Next, the carebear tried to buy a new ship.
This went as well as expected.
He only owed 300 million…
He only had one ship left…
So he traded his Falcon…
Thanks for the free ship, bro!
In one day, he lost all his killmarks…
However, he was already planning to get more.
What a silly bear!
Oh well…
Cheerzah!
How to Lose in Highsec
What happened?
Learza was intrigued.
Meanwhile, Brainzzo had a big-brain idea.
Could he get his stuff back?
Professor Sama gave him a failing grade.
Sad!
Krig’s Korner, Episode 11
My name is Krig Povelli.
I’m a consummate masterbaiter.
I hohe the miners stay SAFE.
CONCORD loves to help.
Miners are as dumb as gankbears.
Woah, my friend Lucy killed a freighter…
…with an Orca!
Friendly fire sure is nice!
Ware did the Charon go?
Everyone blamed me Lucy!
Oh well…
WoW a Geri
Wannabe pirate Jack thought he was safe.
I guess lowsec isn’t scary?
Fredrick showed me how it went down.
Meanwhile, Jack tries desperately to fix his killboard.
Calm down miner!
EVOLA FIRESALE
Jump freighters disgust me.
They deserve Safety.
EVOLA is going out of business.
It’s the end of an era.
Oh well!
The End
Puppers Gets a Gila
Prince Puppers wanted a Gila.
He wasn’t joking.
Puppers wanted to be a Gila main.
Oh boy, a discount Gila!
He sold everything he had…
…to buy a Moa.
Oh, it’s a free Moa…
With premium insurance!
So Puppers went to fetch his new Gila.
GrrrrrrrrrGROONSgaaarRRrr/
Puppers tried to get around the grief blockade.
So he employed null security comms.
This went as well as one might expect.
Puppers even tried a wormhole!
His friends were happy to help.
Meanwhile, Sargon was at the foot dentist.
When Sargon returned, he noticed the problem.
The Goons were using an isk tracker.
So Sargon cleaned Puppers out.
Eventually, Puppers contacted me.
He seemed confused.
The next day, everyone wondered about Puppers.
Apparently, his new home was in Thera?
Who told him to go there?
Eventually, Puppers just bought a Gila.
Another happy ending!
Cheerzah!
Highsec Recruiting, Part 3
Previously, newbro Mason vowed to destroy me.
This would require preparation.
Mason was excited by the thought of PvP with me.
In EvE Online, PvP is a sign of genuine affection.
Our relationship began to blossom.
However, I don’t like impudence.
Mason is a real miner.
Whereas, I am a perfect tenth-wave feminist!
Like all miners, he is a cyberbully greefer.
Fortunately, Mason began to regret his evil ways.
It was time to turn over a leaf…
My expectations were clear.
I demanded an isk sacrifice, for me.
So Mason sent his life savings.
Now I have Mason right where I want him.
He hates being told what to do…
…but now he has new friends, and a new corporation.
Everyone was impressed!
It was the start of a new era.
Mason is my miner.
I sure hope we get along!
What a good boy.
He deserves me!
Cheerzah!
Warcdeck SHAME
Recently, we learned that warcdeck griefing is out of control. In EvE Online, there is nothing you can do to stay SAFE.
I wanted to report this to the EvE Online forum community. However, doing so is a violation of the EULA…
Fortunately, I have a blog.
Thotapleb is widely hailed as the most dedicated antiganker.
He is the only loser of the Guardian Angel Award.
It all started when thotapleb got ganked, after which he began obsessively antiganking empty pods.
Three years later, he joined the once mighty Goonswarm. As readers may recall, this is a carebear’s best revenge.
Now he has to kill 1’309’276 more pods, just to break even.
The biggest joke, aside from thotapleb joining the very alliance which originally ganked him, is this…
Haha, lol, gf!
Despite blobbing like a coward, with 2344 other crabs to protect him, thotapleb failed to ensure that his bowhead followed basic safety protocols, and he got dunked by a lone mercenary.
Next time, stay out of Highsec!
Crazy Cat, Part 2
Back by popular demand, Crazy Cat!
What a miner…
Cat just wanted an appologuy.
Protip: There is a proper size for screenshots.
Rants can be endless.
However, screenshots should be less than 400 pixels in width.
Here’s a nifty chart.
Meanwhile, Catalina denied PvPv.
Everybody just wanted Cat to calm down.
Why was Cat ganked?
Hm, now there’s a thought…
Will she ever learn to enjoy EvE Online?
Finally, the court reached a verdict.
Cat is guilty as charged.
The end.
I said, the end.
I said… THE END.
THE END.
However, Cat had more to say.
