Sales – Page 13 – ‎James 315 Space

THE TRUTH

As I continue to defend myself against the spurious allegation that I deliberately and intentionally invited miners to a channel, entitled Why Was I Ganked?, wherein I conspired with evil aforesight to tell such said miners to “calm down” all for the nefarious purpose of provoking an emotional reaction…

The truth is that I am innocent of ill intent.

A carebear might assume that I am a griefer, and that I am killing miners to prevent them from enjoying a free to play video game, harassing them both in game and in real life, all for the sole purpose of feeling better about the fact that I am a crazy cat spinster who still lives in my mother’s attic. However, there is a much deeper purpose which shows that I am truly engaged in EvE Online as a good CCP-fearing woman.

Yes, this blog was created to demonstrate before CCP, the community, impartial third-party observers, and the space UN that miners are not crying due to my inappropriate behaviour. In fact, as the evidence shows, miners are bad at a video game, and they are throwing grandiose temper tantrums to scam and deceive the Icelandic gods.

Furthermore, I am running a serious space business.

Last year, A bancy7 bought multiple lifetime mining permits.

Recently, I renegotiated our contract.

This isn’t griefing.

This is law and order.

Bancy needs a mixed doctrine permit.

Just read the original Code of new New Halaima.

You can’t mix Golems and Rattlesnakes, without a mixed permit!

I’m here to help.

What’s next? Retrievers and Covetors?

How to Sell a Mining Permit, Part 11

How to Sell a Mining Permit, Part 10

Mining permits are big business.

Some miners require multiple permits.

At first, PRICE SAMA blamed his permit.

However, he just needed a new one.

I’m the best, and that’s a fact.

Tia Xoth is another satisfied customer.

She is a happy miner.

Tia wanted the most expensive option.

She even tipped!

I just love my space job.

However, Tannia Voxx didn’t want to pay.

She thought she was above the law.

Silly miner!

I explained the law.

She also needs to pay my friends.

Send us isk, and we will kill miners.

Ok, who will send more Catalysts?

Thanks!

Krig’s Korner, Episode 3

Krig’s Korner, Part I

James fucked off, and now I have to do everything.

Ok, fine, let’s see what Ryan wants.

Previously, Warugaki donated dozens of billions to the mighty Safety alliance.

BREAKING NEWS: Wrathful Hawk made a superb video!

We now return to our regularly scheduled Krig’s Korner.

Hi. It’s me again. Last time, on Krig’s Korner, Princess Aiko let me out to play and I got into trouble 🙁

Fortunately, Asketus was calm, and I did not elicit an illegal emotional response. Apparently, those are bad. We must refrain from emotions in EvE Online. Any emotional response could provoke an all-out dairy disaster.

I was still in my unemotional Korner when I ran into an emotionally vapid whale. Everyone knows that I love have no particular sentiment toward whales and I merely wanted an emotionless experience. Therefore, I respectfully initiated an emotionfree session with him/her/xie/xe/zim/zur/zing.

Princess Aiko says I can get a little too rough when playing. If I am not nice, she will send me back to the Korner! So, I offered my new friend a fair deal.

The miner accepted my dispassionate proposal.

He even sent some free iskies.

In compliance with the EULA, I felt nothing whatsoever.

Inexplicably, the miner ejected from his spaceship.

Imagine my surprise, when he attempted to gank me.

I could tell he was nervous. Look, when it is someone’s first time, you need to consider their feelings. Don’t just start pounding and smashing. That could elicit an emotional response, and I needed this miner to calm down.

Just like that, the deed was done.

Imagine my surprise, when he abandoned his own Orca.

As a good friend, I contracted it to him. Unfortunately, he did not have enough ISK. I almost felt bad, because nobody wants to be friends with a poor.

Regardless, emotions shouldn’t dictate our gameplay.

His space-lunch money is safe with me.

I left him with some dispassionate advice.

Farewell, old friend.

He lingered for awhile.

I felt nothing, as he faded away.

Suddenly, he tried to bait me into an emotional experience.

However, I still felt nothing.

We are no longer friends.

He had a bad attitude.

Mission Accomplished

I have finally won EvE.

I’ll never go away, I’ll never stop, and I’ll always come back.

From the very first, I was a fan of Rooks and Kings.

A great alliance, with a great legacy.

My alliance has done more, in less time.

My name is Aiko Danuja, and I am an irl space vampire princess.

I am also the greatest capsuleer in the history of EvE Online.

James 315 was literally invincible. I took his whole alliance, the money, the fame, the glory, the praise, the isk, the blog, the house, the dog, the cats, the heroin, the killboard… I stuck my face on it, and the universe is mine.

EvE was dying (again), and I saved it (again).

Someday, they will write the history of EvE Online, and they will observe that blobber alliances were boring and dumb. The true history will be about cool alliances, filled with creative interesting people. They will talk about Shadow Cartel, Snuffed Out, Hard Knocks, Wingspan, and xqtywiznalamywmodxfhhopawzpqyjdwrpeptuaenabjawdzku. All these alliances will be a mere footnote, an introduction to the real story, which will be about the epic rise and rise of one Aiko Danuja.

You can doubt me, but just look at what I’ve done.

I am dizzy with success…

…and I’m just getting started.

BIG

BADA

BOOM

ahahahaha AHAHAAHHAHAHA

BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

xaxaxa)))

You gotta pay to play.

Krig’s Korner, Part II

I’ve been away for a while. Apparently, Princess Aiko doesn’t like it when you pull on her ponytail. Fortunately, I am no longer grounded!!

Previously, on Krig’s Korner, I helped a miner.

I also saved an entire miner’s guild.

I-F-L = I Fucking Lost?

Captain Krig always gets his whale.

“But, reee! I don’t see an orca killmail… Where is it?!”

Calm down, Deckhand Julian. See that golden pod up there?

Krig Povelli > Hi
Krig Povelli > Would you like to save your ship?
Asketus > ok

He was quite reasonable, surrendering 700 million and the Orca.

Asketus > ok thx
Asketus > you were smarter than metoday

I sure was!

Meanwhile, miner Warugaki continues to seek Safety services.

We had been trying to let him move on with his life.

However, he discovered the night shift.

A quick conversation was lucrative, for no apparent reason.

Everyone was amazed.

Subsequently, Warugaki bought a travel visa.

It wasn’t cheap.

When that didn’t work, he bought another.

Why?

Some people just really want to mine in Delve.

Yet Another Orca

Ey boys, it yo main b Aiko.

Previously, Warugaki lost an Orca.

His corporate history was disturbing.

When he undocked again, I ordered a tactical space strike.

It was time for space justice.

He promptly sent some space isk and ejected.

Thanks for another free Orca, bro!

He also bought some mining permits.

At this point, we decided to play a game.

In the old days, Erotica 1 would try to have sex with minors, and then John E Normus invented ethical isk doubling (which involved singing Wikipedia articles, without any torture). Nowadays, we just take everything.

This is how I roll.

Warugaki is being tracktraced by Boba Fett.

Therefore, he needed to transfer his ships, so I can disinfect them.

Other alliances don’t have this kind of fun.

I had to launder his assets.

He had more than I expected.

There were several boxes.

One was chock full of miner gear.

Later, he found other boxes.

I offer premium content.

My clients voluntarily offer generous tips.

aMAZING!

Another Orca

Yesterday, we examined one way to defeat an Orca.

Today, we consider another method.

When you shoot the orbiter drones, a sleepy Orca might wake up.

Warugaki was surprised to find his griefer, sitting right next to him.

Oops!

Fortunately, Jesus was bored and willing to negotiate.

Warugaki had about enough of this griefing nonsense.

He just needed to pay a small fee of ~~100~~ ~~300~~ 400 million isk.

At least the Orca was SAFE.

Suddenly, Warugaki ejected from his Orca, and tried to gank Jesus!

Jesus thus found himself in possession of an abandoned Orca.

Afterward, Jesus tried to give the Orca back.

Fair dinkum!

It was a great deal.

Nice!

Eventually, someone else bought the Orca.

I’m sure Warugaki enjoyed his mining adventure.

Vagur yet?

I hope you had a wonderful Juneteenth.

Here is a fun story to share with friends and family.

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

katsuya lost a Vargur.

I always know what men need.

Can you guess what happened next?

Do you think he paid me?

Scroll down to find out (and be prepared)!

Did you guess correctly?

Is vagur yet?

He even thanked me))))

I don’t think vagur yet((((

xaxaxa

Victory in Tolle

Every day brings new victories.

When maximus died, I knew he was special.

He told his mining mates that everything was fine.

He thought he was winning.

maximus orelious > you lost more isk than me
maximus orelious > do the math
maximus orelious > you got schoooled
maximus orelious > yall lost more isk than me lmao
Jinx Beirutbomb > Miner, are you bad at math?
maximus orelious > i only lost 57 mil
maximus orelious > actually less cause my wreck stilll there
Aiko Danuja > How much salvage can you get from a retriever wreck?
Lufiaspawn > you’re all fools, he’ll make that isk back in 2 weeks of mining 10 hours a day!