Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Some exciting news from CCP!
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Our luxury fitwear is manufactured in the finest Bangladeshi facility.
We have a full line of cute summer apparel.
Alpha males can impress the ladies with their own style.
Nice!
Show your pride, with the number one Highsec mining guild!
That’s right!
Listening to: Chantilly Lace
Erik Draven was ganked by the Loot Fairy.
Poor Erik didn’t have a friend in the galaxy(((
Freedom left him empty inside.
Erik found himself watching a certain someone.
He began to feel something special.
This was his big chance, but did he really have to pay?!
Erik wanted to learn more about the High High Heroin.
As he studied her Holy Word, he was filled with FAITH.
Unlike Hrothgrrarianism, this is a CODE. which people want to be part of.
Doubting Erik experienced a miraculous conversion.
He wasn’t gonna wind up in an incel Lewakian monastery.
True happiness is Chantilly lace and a pretty face…
…and a pony tail ahangin down!
So spend all your money!
In ye olden times of yore, the Minerbumping channel was a place where good agents were summarily banned for trivial reasons, with no judicial recourse (other than praying to a dead guy, who quit undocking a decade ago). This happened, for example, when Salah felt Jerry Rin and karma balancer were being disrespectful.
From: Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri
Sent: 2018.02.12 09:33
To: [redacted]
Hi friends,
I’m writing this little essay here because… issues with certain people, like karma balancer, who has an existential grudge against me for no apparent reason. I even have a recording of him calling me a piece of shit on Teamspeak and saying that all Russians must be bombed… As for mod rights, I’m all for redistributing them, but there has to be a set of guidelines…
Praise James!
Likewise, when Lewak became jealous of Aiko Danuja. Or when Super Perforator came down with a bad case of terminal autisms. It’s the sort of stuff that James 315 never wrote about, because he never knew about it.
Fortunately, the modern Why Was I Ganked? channel is a bastion of due process. We finally managed to redistribute the mod rights, by creating a new channel, and a new alliance, with new guidelines for a new New Order.
Woah there, Iceminer, let me just stop you right there.
Pay rent, on time each month, or get out of Highsec.
Do you want to wind up like Mick Barmata?
My fees are very reasonable!
Anyways… Miners have legal rights, under the auspices of the CODE. and your lawful High Queen Regent dispenses sweet justice according to her regal whim, whenever and however the Heroin decides. That’s only fair, right?
Recently, Kalvin Rothchild summoned his antiganking alt.
Kalvin paid 100 million to be unbanned, only to be rebanned!
It is my pleasure to clarify why Kalvin is rebanned.
Recently, a mysterious CODE.-Safety. taskforce went All-Out, apprehending Kalvin’s mining alt. I found this to be most pleasurable.
Kalvin’s Princess Aiko barbie doll promptly began crying.
This went on for quite some time.
On and on…
The logs are voluminous.
Kalvin, I’m gonna need another 100 million isk.
You done wrong, and I like money.
Exanon Alleile began cursing agents of the mighty New Order.
Damien Oxytocin was shocked, when the curse hit home.
For Safety purposes, Damien immediately lifted the curse.
At this point, the curse rebounded, catching Exanon in his skiff.
Exanon accused Damien of lying, but Exanon was wrong about that.
Exanon never expected this plot twist.
Damien never deceived Exanon!
In fact, it was Exanon who tried to bully Damien.
Exanon is his own worst enemy.
Damien did nothing wrong.
To be continued???
Hello there, friendos.
Meridia Horizon was intrigued by his own death.
I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.
That’s right, miners will pay to die.
This is actually pretty normal.
No regrets!
Back, by popular demand…
Previously, Exanon Alleile went on a grand tour of the galaxy.
At the end of the road, there was either a pot of gold… or nothing.
He’d been tricked seven times before, but what was in the container?
What do you think? Did Exanon win a FREE Mackinaw?
***SPOILER ALERT***
Scroll down to find out what was in the container!
***SPOILER ALERT***
Did you guess correctly?
Oh dang, it was empty!
It was time to try a BONUS lootbox.
Now this is how you play EvE Online.
Suddenly, Exanon began cursing.
FUN FACT: The recommended width of a blog image is 500 pixels — 750 max.
Damien Oxytocin tried to negotiate, but it was too late.
He could see hell, bleeding through his increasingly transparent interface.
Damien warned Exanon, that curses have consequences.
Would Exanon have mercy, and lift the curse?
Alas, it is real!
I want to continue enjoying my happy life, for at least a year.
Therefore, I rejected the upside down 666,666,666, but Exanon was not pleased.
How long will my happy life last?
Previously, on EvE Online’s #1 Best Blog…
Exanon Alleile arrived in Nakugard, to claim a FREE Mackinaw.
Exanon waited, whilst Princess Aiko spoke with Javen.
Eventually, Exanon obtained an audience with the High Heroin of Highsec.
It was decided that Exanon would tour all four empires.
Eystur – Avada = 185 jumps
At this point, a whiteknight intervened.
It was time to stop messing around.
Escrow agents reviewed Exanon’s case.
An offer was made, and accepted.
Exanon set sail for Dodixie, to claim a container.
There was just one problem.
Can you guess what was in the container?
Find out next time, on The Exanondus, Part 3!
To be continued…
CoMeader wanted Safety.
He searched for Safety.
He even bought a mining permit.
Do you think he found Safety?
***
Can you guess the answer?
***
Scroll down, to read the rest of the story!
PLOT TWIST: Safety found him!
What happened?
CoMeader is a citizen of the Caldari State.
Here’s a finer point of Highsec law.
CoMeader crossed a RED LINE, into an active warzone.
The Yulai Convention is crystal clear.
As the story of Anvent Eturrer reminds us, the Gallente Federation is not fucking around, and criminals are not welcome. Leave now or be destroyed!
New Order agents are tasked, by CONCORD, with the apprehension of criminals.
Interdimensional Ganking Forces are the only capsuleers allowed across borders.
Obey the law, or face justice!
Listening to Russian Hardbass Mix by White Sky
Dear Diary,
Codename Pleb continues to whine.
Anyways, we ganked Hedliner and his Awox alt.
Grrrr Aiko, hat hat hat gunkerz.
Hat hat hat.
GARRRR GROOOOONGREEFEREEEEEE!!1!!!!
Now that’s some Pandemic salt!
Also, do you remember DKslopoke?
Now he’s blackmailing me.
I guess I’ll be banned soon?
Meanwhile, in Halaima, I bewitched the Monster from J124023!
Hey, I’m getting good at this.
Even a monster knows how to treat a Princess.
I put a spell on him.
With friends like this, I will never fail!
While antigankers cry, the people I gank are paying me))))))))
That’s right!
Party never stops
Russian through Highsec
Like it’s Vice City
Cyka blyat
Don’t be afraid of nada
Get ready for the drop
Everyday I drink
Everyday I gank
If you do the same, you are my drug
This is how we party
I am truly amazing.
That’s right!
Everybody is talking about me.
Sometimes, I even seduce married men.
Aiko is basically a bitchy James 315.
Do you have faith, full faith?
Prove it!
I’ll never stop!
Catch me, if you can!
I play so hard to get!
Haha.
You love it!
