Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
The Ivy League needs help.
These carebears need to get a life.
They try to act cool.
However, every bear deserves a good bumping.
So we’ve decided to give a little extra homework.
They are on my head list, and this isn’t low.
Gobloks can’t spell, and they don’t understand basic mechanics.
They just need to obey the law.
Better luck next semester!
Thanks to our much appreciated benefactor…
We will be offering more tutoring!
To be continued…
He’s the greatest bumper in the history of the galaxy.
Nowadays, he’s Senior Director.
Recently, a daredevil tried to murder our beloved Envoy.
Envoy offered the would-be assassin some advice.
Just then, Jesus foresaw the miner’s fate.
It’s true what they say.
That’s right.
Later that day, the miner told his friends randoms in local.
Bzzbzz.
EvE Online is a game that goes like this.
They compose poorly written insults, followed by threats.
Then they cry like a bitch.
There’s a lot of that.
Some miners are just plain stupid.
SIDEBAR: CTAPblu is a popular boy’s name!
It’s some sort of Soviet cult?
This is how you identify bots and bouncehackers.
Cool, now you know more about that map.
Nobody likes space taxes.
Everybody begs for special favours.
Miners are kinda crazy (and needy).
I love getting special little messages.
Sometimes I get a complaint.
I definitely care.
Cool story, bro.
Silent Company wasn’t sufficiently silent.
So they got a stiff response.
The Big Bomper was back.
This would not end well for transgressors.
They had not been so bumped since 2012.
It would not take long.
We were going to need MORE miners on OUR moons.
PLOT TWIST: Bumpers and gankers are in bed together.
The system was soon empty.
Silent Company was totally dominated by a real man.
This big boy humiliated the miners, soaring through their orbital rings.
Embarrassing!
To be continued…
You know what? I think I will join.
Miners are always watching me.
Meanwhile, I am watching them.
Everyone has a chance to be heard.
Some prefer to debate philosophy.
There’s a lot of that.
Others exhibit cognitive dissonance.
The level of discourse is quite high.
A few are just naturally curious.
There’s always a joker…
…and a few crazies.
It’s a real melting pot.
It’s true.
That’s right!
My name is Aiko Danuja.
As a new player, I’ve learned a lot about EvE Online.
Miners are poors.
They always cry a lot.
They are bads.
They don’t deserve to mine.
For such a new player, I’ve been doing this a long time.
Apparently, I run the most popular channel in the game!
Sources say, I’m the best.
Cheerzah brav!
Miners love kill rights.
I frequently have more than one available.
It’s a miner’s chance for revenge (and profit).
This really ruins my fun.
As always, carebears try to outsource gameplay.
However, it’s a tough market.
Who will pay for the chance to defeat me?
There’s always someone offering a cheaper path to glory.
I recently noticed a real opportunity.
Insight is buying at 7’499’999.00 isk!
Sources say they sent too many mails.
I wonder what this antiganker is salty about?
That’s right.
That’s right!
I don’t read my mail.
It’s just a lot, and I’m busy.
People report stray Orcas…
Sometimes, I hear from MiniLaw.
I like to hear from long dead miners.
I wish I had time to read it all.
Miners sure have a lot to say!
Should I respond?
What will people come up with next?
I guess they’ve had an exciting year.
Hey, maybe if you write me….
…I might even respond!
That’s right.
\o
A lot of people are into it.
I certainly agree.
Recently, I was docked up in Afivad.
That’s on the edge of my Domain.
Here, I encountered the local miners.
They wondered what me and my alts were doing.
So I introduced myself.
They understood me perfectly.
That’s right.
I think they like me.
Oh right…
After that, they station camped me hard.
I was trapped in a station.
They had a real defense fleet.
Scary!
I’ve decided to visit more often.
I think Braless Mining is really wild.
These bad girls boys need some attention.
Ya kno?
To be continued…
Listening to: Silent Justice
Some miners talk a lot of trash.
One day, one of my best friend returned to EvE Online.
Then he invited all his alts to punish the bullies.
They crossed our red line!
These are consequences, which will never be the same.
Do bigots deserve acts of counterbullying?
The carebears tried to intimidate us.
This was going to be a multibox war crowd dispersal.
When it was all over…
Who do you think won?
That’s right.
Silent Company got bumped off our moons.
To be continued…
