Category: Agents

Neurotica 1, Part 7

Listening to: Dark Techno 2018

Neurotica 1, Part 1

Previously, Erotica 1 was permabanned.

Afterward, he developed a cunning plan.

He decided to get rich, quick.

PLOT SUMMARY: Our anti-hero, Erotica 1, permabanned from EvE Online, wipes the sweat from his brow. “Eureka!”, he exclaims whilst committing securities fraud, selling fake cryptocurrency NFTs in order to purchase CCP and unban himself. This would prove to the courts, that Erotica 1 is a successful businessman. Along the way, he planned to make a trillion isk, through a legitimate galactic bank.

As an initial first step, he exploited his own IRL infant daughter, and tried to recruit a few EvE players.

His ‘friends’ were concerned.

Surprisingly, the scam worked.

Erotica (aka Justin) sold an NFT buy-in to his first mark, rounding $5000 up to $30000, with the expectation of future profits.

This is a story of sex, crypto, federal law, and crazy.

As a woman, I often feel uppity.

Am I a space Karen…

…or a reasonably concerned citizen?

I decided not to commit securities fraud.

No thank you!

Buckle in, it’s gonna be a WILD RIDE.

If subpoenaed, I will testify in court.

To be continued…

Highsec Recruiting

Recently, Goose considered a return to Highsec.

There’s a lot of geese!

Recruiting channels buzzed with the good news.

Banned for life, GM Goose is back!

So I agreed to an interview.

Oh, there’s that deadbeat Luci Gotti.

He’s worthless.

Ok, but what about Goose?

They accused him of multiboxing.

That’s a real thing!

As proof, Dr Tron cited Reddit.

Fascinating…

Hucker Carlson investigates…

I spoke truth to the powerless.

However, I was also hungry.

Meanwhile, Dr Tron decided to pick a fight.

We will hear more from Mason, soon!

Meanwhile, Dr Tron became desperate for attention.

Miners sure are silly!

To be continued…

Krig’s Korner, Episode 9

Krig’s Korner, Episode 8

Hello friendos, it’s me Ryan, aka Krig Povelli.

Recently, I found myself in a situation.

Michal asked me to be his life coach.

However, I take a firm stand against bigotry.

Michal dropped a casual M-word.

Reverse reverse discrimination is not ok.

Once upon a time, Michal was a good man.

Now he is an old miser.

He just wanted a free ship.

Otherwise, he threatened to quit.

Tough love is the best love.

I urged Michal to stop whining.

Nobody likes a poor.

Fortunately, it was time for bed.

Good night Michal!

Later, in bed, he composed a brief letter.

Krig’s Korner, Episode 6

Krig’s Korner, Episode 5

Hoo boy, it’s me, Krig Povelli.

When we aren’t filming, I enjoy EvE Online.

Recently, I met Michael Michal Somebody or whoever.

He was desperate for help!

Afterward, Michal gave me a free Golem.

This made me wonder…

Apparently, he also owned another ship.

So I taught him how to make a contract.

Afterward, we fleeted up, and had tea.

This post is sponsored by Taylors Of Harrogate.

In any hostage crisis, Taylors will set you at ease.

To be continued…

Lonely Miner

CABO4EVER > mack, realy?
CABO4EVER > CAME ALL THE WAY JUST TO SAY hi TO cabo?
CABO4EVER > PEOPLE, THIS IS A GANKER

Hello CABO.

CABO4EVER > you tried to kill my mack..remember?
CABO4EVER > CONCORDE?
CABO4EVER > OFCOURSE, WHAT HAD YOU EXPECTED?
CABO4EVER > its high sec, mate..

CABO was pleased to collect killrights.

CABO4EVER > 26 days 26 days..23 days…26 days.. have the time, dont worry:) i amwatching you ALL…every step…
Zopiclone > activate my killright
CABO4EVER > i could be your daddy , son…
CABO4EVER > perhaps grandpa…kid..
Zopiclone > Please activate the KR on me
CABO4EVER > you wont be in a CAT, promissed..when you go BOOOOMMM! ill be camping out there when you are in your shiny BS…..KAAABBBOOOOOOMMM!1

Other miners were not impressed.

Rozo Druprime > lol he’s so stupid
Ellena Saisima > miners have no teeth so he wont actually do anything
CABO4EVER > it said i could bring friends…and thats what i am going to do.. but only when it hurts, realy hurts, lmao
Eyghynouel en Thielles > he accused me of being a “ganker” and i’ve only been playing for a week
Rozo Druprime > lol yeah he’s a retard, ignore him.
CABO4EVER > you read about those agents that can locate any player anywhere, right? and surprisely….KAAABBOOOMMM, BANG YOU R DEAD, LMAO!!!!
CABO4EVER > LMAO

CABO is a lonely miner.

CABO4EVER > i have no one to talk to..cause of those filthy gankers 🙁 lets buried the axe, come harvest with me
Rozo Druprime > not even his “friends” want him in their corps. he’s looking for a new mining corp cause he got kicked out of all the other ones lol
CABO4EVER > i am a miner, not a fighter…:)

SURPRISE! Part 2

Krig Povelli attended a Star Trek themed birthday.

All ROB’s friends (and alts) were there.

However, ROB vowed to kick Krig’s alt, and biomass.

ROB plays EvE Online in ironman mode.

Skywalker dropped a race card, reminding me of another miner, with a Star Trek name. This was HanSolo01 (along with HanSolo02 and HanSolo03), who happened to be piloting Hulks accompanying Skywalker. As I recall, HanSolo once made an appearance in minerbumping. This miner claimed gankers are racist, because they discriminate against the Russian “race”. Is Skywalker the victim of NATO discrimination?

Regardless, Krig’s alt Lucy had an objection.

It’s the old “It’s my birthday, and I’ll cry if I want to” scam.

You would cry too, if it happened to you.

ROB decided to evacuate.

Lucy encouraged Skywalker to hurry.

Before biomassing, would Skywalker grant Lucy a medal?

I’m a boss b, but Skywalker is not.

Krig: 5 – Skywalker: 0

Skywalker needed to sober up and focus.

Would Lucy get a medal?

He told Lucy to get fucked, over and over.

ROB Skywalker was a bad sport.

He didn’t want to award a medal.

Fortunately, it was a happy birthday.

So, about that medal?

Skywalker was not mad.

He would rather die, than honor Lucy’s success.

Ultimately, ROB was not yet ready to biomass.

SURPRISE!

Krig Povelli won a new 2023 ORE Orca.

It all started innocently enough.

This was a birthday party!

ROB (and his Star Trek themed alts) were not mad.

They didn’t need that Orca.

Birthday boy is above the law.

Krig (aka Lucy) was just happy to win a prize.

Did you know? Lucy is an anagram for Krig!

Here on the SOUTH SIDE, selling permits is not easy.

Indeed, ROB has a plan to avoid ganksters forever.

This will involve biomassing his accounts.

Furthermore…

To be continued…

Special Time

Destiny Corrupted is bad at screenshots.

Let’s check the logs…

[01:01:52] MUHU001 > я бы тебе денег перевел 10 милиона [01:01:56] MUHU001 > дибил [01:04:08] Destiny Corrupted > Вы должны купить разрешение на перевозку [01:04:18] Destiny Corrupted > 100KK ))) [01:05:34] MUHU001 > я новенкий откуда я знаю где покупать я играю 6 день и лечу откуда начал [01:06:16] Destiny Corrupted > Ваши великие лидеры начали эту войну [01:06:35] Destiny Corrupted > Мы только защищаем себя [01:06:57] MUHU001 > меня ваша война не интересует

Uh…

MUHU001 > I’m new how do I know where to buy I play 6 days and fly from where I started

MUHU was just a newbro.

MUHU001 > and what do you want me to raise money for a new powerful ship and also start fighting against you
Destiny Corrupted > A war that is going very badly for you!
MUHU001 > I’m not interested in your war

MUHU was not interested in his own wars.

Even when his alliance is the aggressor…

MUHU001 > I’m just upgrading the character
Destiny Corrupted > I’m just doing my job
MUHU001 > that’s mean

However, he vowed to fight back against meanies.

MUHU001 > I can also fly on my armagidon and destroy all passing ships and no one else will pour into your system
MUHU001 > I realized only one thing for myself, if I die, I will hunt too and 6 people can join

He promised to hunt Destiny.

MUHU001 > I repeat to you again, we are not all of us beginners on day 6, if it goes on like this, we will start hunting
MUHU001 > and our yel will not be an industry but a bounty hunt

He was serious.

MUHU001 > you are very mistaken if I bought armagidon and other beginners mind enough, believe me, I’m not a child
MUHU001 > how better to ship the ship, you would not rush to your conclusions it can become a boomerang for you

Destiny is finished!

MUHU001 > next time I’ll go there to you if I heal, I will destroy and fly not alone but in a group
MUHU001 > you finished the game
MUHU001 > and everyone will know about it you will be outcasts
MUHU001 > a squeak to you and not to seal, you can give normal people just like that

POP QUIZ: How do you say asteroid slave farmers in Russian?

Destiny Corrupted > There is no one in your “group” except asteroid slave farmers
MUHU001 > suck then silently
Destiny Corrupted > Get your whole fleet over here right now
MUHU001 > suck silently I said
MUHU001 > sheep pissed

MUHU was getting excited.

Destiny Corrupted > You talk a lot but do little
MUHU001 > talk less suck more, you will suck
Destiny Corrupted > It will be even more embarrassing when I destroy your entire fleet while I suck
MUHU001 > AAAAAAA SUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCKING

It was a special time.

MUHU001 > FUCK FUCK ME
Destiny Corrupted > Where is the fleet?
MUHU001 > SILENT FURTHER SUCK
MUHU001 > YOU PLAY FOR 14 YEARS AND SUCH FUCK NICESH YOU UNDERSTAND FUCK