I’m Sexy


Today, I’m feeling sexy.

I just love to devour men.

I’m also lookin great!

You love to imagine it.


I’m fine.

Just like a real Princess!

What do you think I want?

Real men know what I want.

I need it so bad.

Let’s just kill all the miners.

They’ve been begging for it.

We can show them a good time.

You’d like that, wouldn’t you?

Ok, let’s do it.

Don’t be shy!

You can call me anytime!

A girl has to make a living.

I’m the best there ever was!

Arts and Crafts

I’m a little busy, since I actually undock.

Today, I’d just like to share some arts and crafts.

Blake McAllister has a real talent.

Shekelstein Shakiel made an IRL visionboard.

zuzzik continues to enjoy art therapy.

I love my alliance!


Big Deal

I’m defo a big deal.

You aren’t truly space famous, until people you don’t even know are making EVE videos starring your beautiful face. Apparently, someone noticed that Highsec has a new queen. That’s right.

The people love me.

And who are you, the proud lord said
A spider still has fangs…

So now the rains, weep o’er his hall
With no one there to hear…


Ah, it’s that festive time of year.

Alt 00 gave me this bust of James 315. Remember him?

Everyone is celebrating.

The miners are happy.

EVE Online has a great family friendly environment.

Just make sure to purchase your holiday permit.

Nothing of value was lost.


Deal Storm, Part 5

Listening to: Cartoon High Trip #2

Deal Storm, Part 1

Previously in James 315 Space, suki storm was a contestant on Deal Storm, winning negative twelve billion isk. Although suki claimed to have only 4 million isk, Princess Aiko helped suki pull 100 million isk out of an empty wallet. When she did it again, suki realized this is a cool magic trick, and he was happy to make it rain. 30 million isk. 10 million isk. 30 million isk. 40 million isk. 70 million isk. 80 million isk. 100 million isk. 100 million isk. 100 million isk. 100 million isk. 500 million isk. 1 billion isk. 2 billion isk. 2 billion and 315 million isk. This is how you win EVE.

Everybody loves to play my game.

Surely, Princess Aiko can’t do it again?

You can’t stop her. She does it all the time.

Aiko is invincible.

It’s just part of the game.

Every game has winners and losers.

Follow me, if you want to win.

This isn’t a negotiation.

I’m a Princess.

To be continued…


zuzzik continues to recover from several unfortunate hauling incidents, expressing his feelings through a visual medium.

Pagpatay sa semana

Kills of the Previous Week

Someone said I should gank more. My bad. Here are some mga oso, eradicated between November 1 @ 00:00 and November 8 @ 15:35.


Elena Niminen is the sister of Overmind Niminen, but she’s no ordinary goofus. I have it on good authority, that she is the alt of Fraternity’s glorious leader. Amazing. This nullbear tried to take a shortcut through Highsec, but CODE. agents were standing by, with an elite squad of Imperial stormtroopers. Great job team! Speaking for James 315, let me just say how much we value and respect our friends in Goonswarm.


Asja Gor attempted to smuggle garbage into Highsec, with intent to distribute. Look here nullbears, Highsec is not some third-rate pawn shop! The wind came from the north and blew her away. Go away Asja, we don’t want your junk (but we are keeping it). If anybody ever asks, whether ganking is profitable, just give them a weird look.


anavel physalis is another lazy bear, who can’t even capitalize his own name. Ever since I became the official executor of the mighty CODE. alliance, I’ve spent a lot of time reviewing personnel files, attempting to determine who is worthy. Let me tell you what, at the top of my list are such elite agents as MrDiao, Ulianov, and GAY PRIDE BOOOOOM. I’m proud to be in an alliance with such fine individuals.


ivanigh Antollare has been a busy little miner, but he didn’t want to purchase a mining permit. He’s been ganked a few times, and knows the law, but he still insists on playing the goblok. That’s just fine. We dunked him (again), and confiscated his ore. Go directly to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect $200.


Catweasel is ugly, smells bad, and keeps clawing up the furniture. 8Fold Chelien and Ginger Anne Salt knew what to do with this foul beast.


BONUS ART: Someone keeps losing freighters in Uedama.

It’s not easy being zuzzik, but he understands the law, and each time he dutifully pays his Princess the requisite fee of 100 million isk.

I’ll allow it.

Recently, as part of freighter loss therapy, zuzzik beceme an artist. 


A hard knock


As your Saviourette (yours, and yours), I am pleased to announce a promo contest.

I would never want my actions to conflict with the infallible judgment of James 315, so I cleared this with him via seance, and the ouija planchette pointed at me. I suspected that Kroppina was manipulating the board, but Alt 00 saw it move autonomously. This demonstrates that James truly loves me. I also sat for three hours in a dark room, watching a candle, and it flickered when I whispered his name. Once again, this confirms beyond doubt, that I am the one true heiress to anything and everything.

With great power comes great responsibility, and it is my duty to officially endorse this contest. James wouldn’t want us to merely sit in station, docked up and praising his name ad nauseam. He always detested sycophants, who need him to authorize each and every decision. Nor is he satisfied with those who merely undock and gank. He expects us to be civil, creating art and culture, beyond the bare minimum. I know this, because we are intimately mind melded, forever and ever. Amen.

I agree wholeheartedly. I have absolutely no interest in EVE Online, but I have every interest in the Order. This galaxy was once ruled by a fickle demon, the cheater BoB. James killed this beast, and a swarm of bees emerged from BoB’s dusty hole. In this way, the galaxy finally became interesting, and with the help of the VCBees (and a certain Khanid princess), James saved everyone from eternal boredom.

Once upon a time, Katia Sae decided to visit every star system, and took screenshots to document her journey. This sounds absolutely dreadful, mainly because Katia refused to engage in any actual gameplay. When other spaceships appeared, she would simply log out of her client, waiting for them to go away. In some cases, a stalemate would last weeks, and it took more than a decade for Katia to navigate her tiresome path. CCP likes to celebrate this ‘amazing’ journey, but it’s really just a testament to how incredibly boring EVE can be. Some players literally spend years doing nothing much.

Alani Prinz offers 315 Catalysts, to whomsoever submits the best photo. Since the rules are unclear, I will make them up as I please. Our contest will continue for at least one month, and there must be contestants. Images should be high resolution, and full screen. Furthermore, they must show someone doing something honorable, like piloting a Catalyst or dunking a Venture. As an example, Alani submitted this fine image.


Of course, a Saviourette’s work is never done.

Mrs Curtain is a plebeian of Hard Knocks, which rents several wormholes from me. When she accidentally fell out of her hole, Ernst kindly evicted her.

James would be proud, to know that Ernst is still out there, keeping Highsec safe from riffraff and vagrants. Unfortunately, Mrs Curtain did not appreciate his hard work. Instead of paying rent, she tried to scam him!

Ernst is no stranger to wormholes, and he sternly advised Mrs Curtain to speak with her feudal overlord. Educate yoself!

As you should know, Loroseco is a powerful friend in j-space.

If you ever get suspicious, that everyone in the galaxy is conspiring against you, well — they probably are (the exact same people).

Unfortunately, Mrs Curtain doubted the truth.

Someday, she will learn the hard way (again).


Yonder day of judgment be nigh at hand!






ਹਫ਼ਤੇ ਦੀਆਂ ਹੱਤਿਆਵਾਂ

Sargon of Amerish has made an amazing triptych, depicting the current state of Highsec and the mighty CODE. alliance. On the left, you can see a goofus antiganker, lagging behind the lovely Princess Aiko (with her trusty submachine gun). On the right, Khanid flametroopers disembark, to help miners see the light. Above them all, James 315 watches from his throne in the Heavens. He is dead, as he has officially confirmed, so that makes him a God King. Right? James flies my spaceship! Amazing!!! 

Hahaha, silly antigankers, failing daily!


Is this just propaganda? Is the New Order actually dead and gone? It’s hard to say, but let’s check out the killboard, and search for clues. Here are some ਰਿੱਛ, that were stomped on between October 25 @ 00:00 and October 31 @ 23:59.


MrUnique Android was a bot, but he was our bot. He was blue to the Imperium, and a proud member of the Goonswarm Federation. However, he decided to betray his fellow Delvians, and left the alliance. As this coward attempted to flee the battlefield, he was caught and summarily executed. Kudos to our glorious heroes: Gallente Citizen I, Yes Mr Cheng, Chad Thundercaulk, Katrl, and uninstall 05.


Filo Crendraven wanted to be a fleet commander, so he jumped into a command ship and set sail for somewhere. Unfortunately, he ran his ship unto the neutron blasted shores of Uedama. There, he met a better fleet commanded by Alleil Pollard, Jason Kusion, and Joseph John Thomson. Good fight!


Sant1aga Shadi was a member of Silent Company, and went down in flames. Here’s a pro tip: Hillbilly-2000 is a great ganker!


D33XX3R heard that CODE. doesn’t shoot ships that can shoot back. He studied Never_C0nvicted‘s double web Kentucky Vindi fit, and prepared to invade Highsec. A few seconds later, D33XX3R was D34D. The usual crowd was there to watch, but everyone was surprised by who got top damage.


John N8fall was just a typical Highsec miner, hauling garbage around in his trashmobile. Fortunately, The Highsec Goddess (that’s me) was on duty. What is even happening these days? Is antiganking still a thing, or did they all just give up?

Maybe the antigankers are demoralized?


Marti Tachibana went AFK in her cheap Corax, and woke up to Hell Dawn. Even though her High-grade Amulet Epsilon granted a +4 bonus to Charisma, this wasn’t enough to charm her way out of CODE. compliance.






Rudokop Forever, Part 8

Rudokop Forever, Part 1

Previously in James315.space… Adrian Vexier was seduced by the spider witch of Highsec. Consequently, he forsaked the antiganking community, transmorphing into a Russian hunting demon. Of course, the New Order logs and records absolutely everything (always), and there is naturally a video of the time that Rudokop Forever‘s alt SIM Gallent tried to trick Adrian. As faithful readers know, this didn’t work.

Afterward, Rudokop sulked, humiliated before a coven of demons.

He had faith, vengeance would come in the afterlife.

Local miners attempted to help Rudokop calm down.

However, he was beyond consolation.

Rudokop’s alt urged Adrian’s alt to betray his demonic leader.

Meanwhile, Rudokop cried as evil forces pushed him away from the ice and ore.

Alas, his favourite potato farm was haunted by space ghouls.

This was upsetting for him.

Rudokop’s alt foretold a dire prophecy. The demonic attacks would continue.

Indeed, Rudokop’s other alt was already doomed.

To be continued…


BONUS: Miners pretend the CODE. is some kind of Veldspar mafia, imagining James 315 as a mobster and a goon. Now that James is dead as a door nail, it is important that we resist such vile slanders. Blake McAllister‘s artwork portrays James as he really was: a dapper business man, and a respected pillar of the community.

Old James is as dead as a door-nail. Mind! I don’t mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ancestors is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it, or the galaxy’s done for. You will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that James is as dead as a door-nail.