Griefer Mode

Against double EHP miners, I must engage griefer mode.

This is war, total war.

Double EHP miners don’t need to fit their ships. CCP does it for them.

CCP loves their innocent newbro Highsec miners.

Nevermind, I guess I’m the new player.

Raven was furious that his double EHP exhumer malfunctioned.

He was definitely not calm.

Yes, this is sexual harassment in EvE Online.

Antigankers are trashy people, defending trashy people.

‘Niceguy’ whiteknight HateLesS protected my abuser.

This is literally what antigankers support.

Alleil decided to tell her mother.

To be continued…

Uedama Gankster Life

Tonight, we went aganking in Uedama.

Honestly, CCP is responsible for EVE.

Blame the developers, not the CSM.

Brisc Rubal isn’t my best friend, but he’s a friend.

My best friend is a fucking gankster.

Tonight, Brisc was doubling in Uedama.

Not Julian > Brisc Rubal brings isk doubling right here to Uedama, send him money and he’ll send you back double!
Brisc Rubal > I’m here for all your isk doubling needs.
Aiko Danuja > WoW! I sent Brisc Rubal 10 billion isk and he sent me 20 billion isk back!

Antiganker DrysonBennington got salty.

Welcome to the Cringe Zone.

The Imperium brought words of wisdom to Highsec.

Why was the next POTUS in Uedama?

Brisc was confounded by the antiganking mentality.

What kind of loser plays EvE Online?

Brisc gets it. EvE is a spaceship shooting game.

If Brisc pays me enough, I’ll vote for him.

Apply the lessons of EvE in real-life.

Here’s your daily carebear.

ok fine

The CSM is committed to doubling miner EHP.

Legal Disclaimer: The preceding statement is intended as a work of fictional satire, and bears no relationship to actual EVE Online power dynamics, real or imagined.

I don’t believe CCP wants this, but the CSM is demanding it.

Legal Disclaimer: The preceding statement is intended as a work of fictional satire, and bears no relationship to actual EVE Online power dynamics, real or imagined.

After the miner’s tantrum in Jita, they are buffing EHP and yield.

I hope miners enjoy grinding for paltry amounts of isk.

I’m actually doing really well.

I might just quit ganking altogether.

It will be mathematically impossible to sologank an exhumer.

It already requires overwhelming force, and now I need double overwhelming force?

Unfortunately, miners are salty little bitches, in real life.

I might start grieving them.

If you kill a double EHP miner, it’s gonna cry.

It’s gonna get salty.

I’m beyond annoyed with these carebears.

It’s time to try something new.

I’m gonna get twice as bad.

I’m gonna be an elite griefer.

I want to make miners cry, in real-life.

You can thank the CSM.

Oh well

I’ve been hoping this isn’t true, but perhaps it’s time to accept reality. Apparently, CCP intends to double the EHP of barges and exhumers.

I’ve tried to be optimistic, but I also need to be honest. This is not good. It will encourage AFK mining, and ganking will become financially prohibitive.

Solo gankers will struggle if EHP is doubled. In order to gank a Retriever, they will need to use a battlecruiser. In order to gank a Mackinaw, they will need a dreadnought! I wouldn’t blame them if they quit, because it’s not reasonable to expect someone to use a Naga or a Talos to kill a barge.

In order to kill this Mackinaw, I had to use 4 ships. After EHP is doubled, I would need 8 ships. Either that, or I would have to use battlecruisers. This is just not financially sustainable, considering the Mackinaw only dropped 6 million isk in ‘loot’. I would not blame myself, if I quit ganking miners after EHP is doubled.

James 315 declared victory, but if CCP decides to double barge EHP, then we can only consider this to be a defeat. Highsec is worth fighting for, but I’m not going to drop battlecruisers on barges. That’s just asinine.

Some people have tried to cheer me up, reminding me that CCP has buffed mining before, and ganking survived (barely). However, this comes atop all previous changes. As the most active ganker in the game, I know there isn’t much incentive to gank, and there are few gankers left. If barge EHP is doubled, there won’t be much interest in ganking. Most miner gankers will quit, and I might be the only one left.

What will I do, if they double the EHP of barges? Certainly, I’m not going to waste my time and energy trying to fix CCP’s mistake. Let the miners all go AFK, and watch as the price of Veldspar plummets. The bots will proliferate, in tanky little Covetors and invulnerable Mackinaws. What can I do about it?

Maybe it’s time for me to leave Highsec.

I might even enjoy it!

Miner Madness

I don’t pay much attention to miners.

However, the latest patch has triggered a wave of mewling.

I’m not sure what the fuss is about.

CCP has set an irrational precedent, allowing crybabies in Jita the delusion that anybody cares about them. Pro tip: nobody cares.

I spoke with an unironic Highsec miner.

What’s wrong miner?

Is this the end of AFK mining?

Will miners adapt to economic realities?

Two things are for certain.

Mining is boring, and miners are poors.

There’s no shame in quitting.

Miners need to focus on the big picture.

This is good news.

Boris Goes Bananas, Part 2

Previously, in James 315 Space… Boris lost another Retriever.

:TRIGGER WARNING:
EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT (AND RACISM) IN EVE ONLINE

Aveve needs to learn how to take clear screenshots.

Doesn’t that look better?

Regardless, this is good stuff.

In EVE Online, Boris roleplays as a Christian miner.

He is persecuted, by homosexual terrorists.

Someday, if he can afford a boat, he will fight the dog fuckers.

I don’t want Boris to get banned. I find this entertaining!

Boris, you crazy Russian!

To be continued…

Nope

Yesterday, we stared into the abyss.

Was this the end of the galaxy?

Novus Ordo antigankers tried to report gankers for pulling, but the EVE community came together and defended our Highsec traditions.

All is well!

We celebrated by exploit dunking in Uedama.

Here’s a video!

In other news, an Orca had a Safety incident.

Safety inspectors are investigating.

Let’s examine the SRP request.

Ah, I found the problem…

You were trying to run your own business.

Safety first, always!

Is pulling CONCORD an exploit?

Multiple independent sources are confirming that CCP has been warning and/or banning people for “pulling” CONCORD. There has been speculation that this was “abnormal” pulling, and not the normal activity practiced routinely by gankers and antigankers for more than a decade. However, my sources have become increasingly clear that CCP is targeting gankers for routine pulling.

For example, the Novus Ordo antigankbears have been antiganking by pulling CONCORD into ice belts, to protect their Russian mining clients. Now it appears that gankers who counterpull are being warned for “delaying” CONCORD by drawing CONCORD out of the belt (because Novus Ordo is reporting them).

It is true, that pulling affects response times, but for more than a decade this has been normal gameplay. It was specifically allowed.

Are gankers no longer allowed to pull? Perhaps so, but if that is the case, there are going to be some significant changes.

I don’t know what to say.

I’ll just wait to see if CCP replies to my ticket.

Maybe everything is fine?

Fortunately, GM IceCream states it is ok to manipulate CONCORD to decrease (rather than increase) response times. Instead of pulling CONCORD away from the gate (to make it easier to gank on the gate), just pull CONCORD to the station (in order to make it harder to gank on the station). Problem solved!

Indeed, IceCream claims it is ok to spawn CONCORD in specific situations (provided that you do not intentionally reduce CONCORD response times), but as Jason notes, there is no possible scenario in which you can spawn CONCORD without simultaneously reducing response time elsewhere.

Chillno

Chillso Ace isn’t very chill.

He explained why.

He doesn’t have to be.

Instead, Chillso can curse mat Otsito (and his family).

First, they will get cancer, and then the government death panel.

As Chillso explained, mat is a mass murdering psychopath in real-life. Therefore, it is only just and fair that mat’s entire family be stricken with cancer (before their public execution). As a man, mat must accept Chillso’s judgment.

The next day, Chillso made a simple proposition.

If mat kills himself, that would make it easier to mine.

Many years ago, the Mittani joked about suicide, and this is often cited as evidence of the Mittani’s depraved mind. Consequently, when the Mittani heard about Chillso, he asked mat to give the miner a second chance.

Meanwhile, Chillso reached out to local miners, including two imperial informants. As it turns out, Chillso is conducting a coordinated psyops campaign intended to convince mat to kill himself (in real life).

Chillso is allowed to do this. Right?

It’s just a game.

Meanwhile, Krig Povelli was warned by CCP, because he is Muslim.

I’m glad CCP has sensible policies, which are fairly enforced.

Indeed, Krig has been cursed for fifty years.

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #236

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #235

Miners are always looking for a good deal.

They sure got a lot to say.

What is wrong with them?

Evan got banned for calling someone a shit beta, and implying they eat fuck rice. That’s pretty salty, not gonna lie, but why does CCP intervene? The salt is amusing, not offensive, and nobody should get banned for making us laugh. 

We don’t play EVE for the terrible UI, glitchy mechanics, uninspiring graphics, or tedious grinding. We only log in for the engaging drama.

Only loosers and lossers report salt to CCP.

I didn’t vote for Trump (or Hillary), and I would have voted to impeach, but I don’t want to purge all the politically incorrect players. Let’s not cater to hypersensitive snowflakes, who seek to water this game down.

I enjoy a little “locker room” talk.

I love the passion.

I’ve got no issue with rice eaters, I’m one too. In fact, Evan is half Japanese, so it’s racist to call him racist for calling you a rice eater. Someone in London (or Iceland) banned an Asian, claiming he was racist against Asians – that’s reverse racism.

This is an international game, so let’s embrace xenophobia.

Maybe, if miners can work out their anger-management issues in EVE Online, then they won’t beat their wife in real-life.