Why??

I get asked a lot of questions.

For example, why was the miner ganked?

Some miners get ganked more than once.

I always follow the rules.

Mining permits are on sale now.

I care about each and every newbro.

New player applications cost merely 75 million isk.

Is Nezmeyana actually a new player?

Scroll down to find out!

What did you guess?

It was the moment of truth…

Did you guess correctly?

Nezmeyana is a full grown spaceadult!

She is not a new player.

This was unfortunate.

Fortunately, Nezmeyana had more isk.

Another satisfied customer.

I am always happy to help.

This miner was assigned to Isanamo.

A few minutes later…

Oh nooo….

This was a real learning experience.

I’m sure everyone had fun.

Anyways…

Honestly, I just want your isk (and your killmail).

See ya!

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 52

Listening to: Get Well Soon

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 1

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 51

It was the most expensive ship xAtlas42x ever lost.

This made it difficult to fly fearless.

Mission Ready Mining had a real mining problem.

New players were quitting the game, due to endless boredom.

However, Assistance Group was determined to help.

Just in time, Kurisa finished her eyeshadow.

It was time to play EvE Online.

Kurisa, aka Kalorned, is a certified mining instructor.

This time, the Tunnel Snakes won.

This was before my time.

Slayer got slayed, and his own alliance mocked him.

Gandaulf the DeGrey is no longer laughing.

CCP was gonna need to patch the game.

Meanwhile, the biggest corporation in Highsec enjoyed rapid growth.

Hundreds of newbros were joining!

The alliance grew twenty percent in four months.

That was the start of a long slow decline.

Things were about to get worse.

To be continued…

uh oh spaghettio…

Krig’s Korner, Episode 19

Krig’s Korner, Episode 18

Welcome to the Krig Povelli show.

This miner was quite calm.

Sorry ladies…

I finally got what I want.

I rammed this miner good.

He loved it.

I just had one more request.

I wanted him to leave.

I also wanted to heal the game.

Furthermore, he needs a mining permit.

Eventually, he noticed my superior social standing.

This really triggered him.

Eventually, we parted ways.

I’m glad we met.

Thanks for the memories!

Absolute Racism

Listening to: AO Downfall

Trigger Warning: Blatant Racism in EvE Online

Hey there.

We’ve all heard the rumors.

Absolute Order is absolutely racist.

These are real screenshots from EvE Online.

Oh wow, ok.

See what I mean?

We have no tolerance for casual breakfast Klingons.

They cannot be reasoned with.

It’s not just the racism.

Absolute Order is absolutely mental.

We know how to deal with this.

Just bump them all.

Governor Lee done goofed.

Consequences will never be the same.

We’ve met before.

Haven’t we Mr Governor Lee?

That’s right.

We go way back.

Wayback.

What will MrLee think of next?

Good Girl Bot Killers

That’s right.

Good Girl Kara > Kill: Uedashin Unata Eto (Worm) reporting them does nothing
Vardonis > Good Girl Kara what did you report for?
Good Girl Kara > botting
Vardonis > abyss botting?
Good Girl Kara > yep
Good Girl Kara > Kill: Onaneri Irai Hinken (Worm) another one

My alliance provides a community service.

Twenty eight Worms down.

35 bots permabanned (or given a slap on the wrist as usual).

Does CCP care about bots?

=DOUBLE FEATURE=

Are mining permits real?

With his new permit, Nick was celebrating in local.

This caught the attention of fellow newbro Vyacheslav.

I call that real content, with real permits.

For the Newbros

Listening to: You Got Ganked

As part of his postgank art therapy, MarkeeDragon commissioned a song to commemorate his grief.

…and now, our feature presentation…

Hey there.

On Reddit, crabs conspire.

This carebear wants to expand Highsec.

How did the lowsec community respond?

Next up, another carebear loser.

Crybabies just want easy AFK isk.

Everybody hates Safety.

Garr gaunkers gunk.

Why can’t miners AFK in peace?

Think about the newbro Hulks!

Reeeeeee, why can’t new players boomervets get free easy isk?

Where did all the miners go??

I guess they all left… right?

Some people don’t even know what they are crying about!

Ganking should be theoretically allowed, but practically impossible.

Imagine a sandbox with walls and guardrails.

Let’s get rid of those evil meanies!

The tears never stop.

Yep, another 2004 returning crybaby.

Are there any new players at all?

Oh look, another 2008 returning crybaby.

Hey, check out the 2012 returning newbro!

Question: Is whining about ganking a nullsec recruitment tactic?

I’m sensing a consensus.

One guy had a whole story…

Is this whinefest a Snuffed Out advertisement?

Hey, a 2014 returning crybaby has a theory.

What do you think?

Cheerzah!

=FINAL WORDS=

<=BONUS SALT=>

=PvP PLAYER RESPONSE=

That’s right.

End of an Era, Part 17

End of an Era, Part 1

It was a rainy day in Incursion Town.

The roads were infested with rats.

Editor’s Note: The original design of incursions, developed by developers who no longer develop the game, was for players to race through a maze of tunnels filled with scary space monsters… whoever made it first, could fight the BIG BOSS MOTHERSHIP for isk and glory.

In 2024, Wrathful Hawk decisively won the game.

Outwitting the carebears, he went straight through lowsec.

Along the way, Hawk met a few friends.

These boys took their entire bling fleet through Vecamia.

It’s a shortcut.

This is was some real content, in EvE Online.

Sun Tzu said the greatest warriors evade battle altogether.

That was EvE Online in its finest hour.

What happened next?

Highsec carebears failed again.

This was the typical cry and whine.

Hawk simply outplayed the plebs.

To be continued…

Dirty Business

Hey there.

Each day brings new friends.

Yesterday, I helped Lady Krabs purchase 12 mining permits.

Then she reported me to the SSR.

The next morning, Mrs. Krabs woke up to reality.

Op success.

Another content subscriber.

Now the Krabs ladies can mine in peace.

Osmon is also the home of my beloved Cultural Center.

I can’t keep a secret.

He’s a real people person.

I’m glad everyone is happy.

That’s right.

Feel free to send your isk.

Works for me.

I wonder how things are going in Osmon?

Sounds like things are going great.

Thanks for the free isk, bro.

I’m glad we are friends.