Chinese Ganking

The high-value ships you’re flying in Gao’an are nothing more than Titan fragments for me.

GoingToDed > Hey everyone, I’ve arrived! All Chinese nationals, get out—I don’t want to accidentally harm any of my own people.

They literally call them ‘rape’ gangs (their word, not mine).

GoingToDed > Miners, marauders, faction battleships, cruisers—I hunt down all high-value targets.

GoingToDed vowed to purge Taiwanese miners.

As always, the miners complained.

Caeryn Lupercal > Go out and touch some grass, you insufferably boring, ambush-obsessed lowlife. You talentless troublemakers.

In any language, carebears are crybabies.

Vexor is the Chinese scout…

Caeryn Lupercal > Oh dear, you poor thing—what a crybaby.
Taiwan is a free country. The 1989 Tiananmen Square Massacre is an incredibly ugly stain on your nation’s history. Xi Jinping looks exactly like Winnie the Pooh.

This is a sensitive topic.

Vexor Sigma > Thanks for sharing your unique, absolute-shit political and racist remarks. I’ll be sure to report your comments to the GMs exactly as they are. Enjoy the game.

Vexor Sigma > Keep spouting your moronic nonsense

Caeryn Lupercal raised a familiar complaint.

Caeryn Lupercal > Your abysmal legion description fails to mention the very activities you seem to take such delight in—attacking defenseless miners. Your practice of “clearing” entire star systems of any players who aren’t of your own nationality is chillingly reminiscent of how you “cleared” the protesters in Tiananmen Square.

Let’s check out this legion.

The best alliance perks in the entire universe: generous new-player benefits, comprehensive loss-reimbursement policies, and a wide array of rewards for participation (PAP). High-quality combat operations: specialized anti-gank/skirmish squads and elite, standardized capital ship fleets.

I always appreciate a good anti-gank squad.

Caeryn Lupercal > Go ahead and revel in the thrill of harassing peaceful players—you represent the absolute worst and most detestable part of this game.

I told them we are from North Korea.

Pengxi VI > Haha, the North Korean team is way better than us.

That’s right.

Pengxi VI > In Western parlance, the world is suffering from overcapacity; eliminating the miners in Gao’an could help curb this overcapacity.

That’s right!

GoingToDed > This kind of behavior is truly despicable—trying to mine in high-sec without paying the management fee.

I think they like my alliance.

Pengxi VI > This right here is the Islamic State of the EVE universe, brother 🙂

Pengxi VI > This place is the “Northern Myanmar” of the EVE universe.

Pengxi VI > Absolutely brutal :)

=BONUS CHINESE LESSON=

Aiko Danujoke

Miners are bad at EvE Online.

So we purify them unto extirpation.

Recently, Blood Raiders visited ruination upon the J-bears.

Vulpecula Volans gave a riveting war speech.

His fleet was overwhelmed by a Childrens Orphanage Charity event.

It was a terrible slaughter.

The time for training was over.

Afterward, I returned to Highsec.

It was the same as always.

That’s right.

That’s right!

Hedvard Gets Owned

Hedvard Vetranax met his fate and destiny.

…and they said I never leave Highsec?

I know what men really want.

To Princess Aiko, Keeper of the Drones
From: Hedvard Vetranax

They want to write poems (about me).

Princess Aiko, jewel of the Chain,
I’ve chased through fire, through void, through flame.
I’ve broken pirates, kings, and fleets,
Yet found defeat where our destinies meet.

The whispers say I threw the fight,
That somehow I forgot my might.
They ask, “Why didn’t the Astero burn?
Why let the heatless modules turn?”

The answer’s simple—though hard to confess,
A deputy can falter, I guess.
When your ship appeared upon my scan,
My courage fled my careful plan.

My heat racks waited, cold and still,
Unused by choice, not lack of will.
The overheat lights never shone…
For fear I’d leave you podded… alone.

What glory lies in molten steel,
If victory ends what I might feel?
Better an honest bruise to pride
Than scorch the star where hopes reside.

Yet let no soul mistake the tale—
Your victory was no fairy tale.
Those faithful drones obeyed your hand
Like knights responding to command.

They struck with grace, returned with speed,
Each recall timed to meet the need.
No drone was wasted, left to die;
You ruled the field with watchful eye.

I watched them weave through fire and smoke,
Each perfect orbit, every stroke.
A captain’s worth is plainly shown;
By how she guides each faithful drone.

So if they ask why heat was spared,
Or why my armor wasn’t repaired,
Tell them this, and tell it true:

A deputy may hunt the stars…

But even Bulldogs lose their nerve…

When fighting someone worthy of their heart.

Until the next duel beneath Anoikis’ endless skies!

Maybe he should make this into a song?

What a good little boy.

Yes, there’s more!

…but why did he set me to red standing?

Hedvard Vetranax > girls make me nervous

You know what I really like?

Songs about me…

I’m the star!


Now, Hedvard just needs to send isk (and lots of it).

A Little Roleplay

Miners notice me.

I’m a legend in my own time.

They often have something to say.

Sometimes, they are less philosophical.

I always tell them to buy a permit.

I think they like me.

I consider them fans.

That’s right.

That’s not right.

Welcome to EvE Online!

…but wait, there’s more.

I will always be me.

Here is some wisdom.

Miners are idiots.

o7 capsuleers!

Bot Battle Championship

=Trigger Warning: EvE Online=

Well, hello there.

People love what I do.

Returning quitters know my name.

They even know my alts!

I must be doing something…

Let’s see the latest thing I done did.

Oh look, another botfarm.

Sad to see…

EvE Online sure has a lot of bots.

I just kill them all.

You love it!

That’s right…

CASTOLE Gets Tagged

Listening to: DJ Blyatman

Recently, CASTOLE got griefed in Jita.

What happened?

Clearly, a mistake was made.

CASTOLE decided to confront the bully.

It’s not very nice to shoot a ganker cat.

He She demanded JUSTICE.

At first, it appeared Denenair would not make amends.

However, CASTOLE insisted on reparations.

She even invoked the Saviourette of Highsec.

This was serious stuff.

Denenair Khashour gradually realized the truth.

CASTOLE loves to shoot miners.

Nobody likes miners…

Gankers are pretty cool!

CASTOLE made a 49000% profit.