Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
PAPI had a rough night.
Meanwhile, Aikowatchers noticed something unusual.
Opportunity knocked, and Kelgoroth seized the opportunity of a lifetime.
He thanked everyone who helped achieve his goal.
Miners will do anything for me.
I’ve got perky social skills.
When you fleet with Aiko, magic happens.
What could possibly go wrong?
I even won a free Paladin!
Don’t be shy!
CCP might ban me, but they’ll never ban the memories.
If you are a preteen princess from the 90s, then you love Neopets.
Neopets are like furries, but for children.
I wonder how that upgrade went?
With their identities stolen, escaped neopets fled to outer space.
You can hang out with 36.5 billion baseliner civilian catgirls!
Unfortunately, they don’t like Highsec gankers.
The Neopian Federation is a carebear consortium.
Ajna was weak, but she wanted to be strong.
She did some research, and realized I only have 3 friends.
I guess numbers are important after all?
So she started bullying me.
This was one uppity miner.
James 315 was always afraid of duels, always!
Fortunately, I’m actually capable of undocking.
We met at the sun, where it is always high noon.
An HONORIBEL 1v1 duel.
I’ve heard the accusations.
*****
EXHIBIT A
(AKA PROOF OF PHOTOSHOP)
EXHIBIT B
(AKA FACEBOOK GOSSIP)
EXHIBIT C
(AKA MITTANIGATE)
This is some serious stuff.
If you want to report a crime, contact the police. I know what a judge would conclude. Case dismissed! You can submit Exhibit A, an edited chatlog from 2007, but it isn’t compelling. Of course, I want to acknowledge the theoretical possibility that there is some truth or substance to the allegations, but…
Mob justice is not justice.
That’s not cool!
Guilty until proven innocent?
I karttoon was right. I would know.
If you enable spergy whiteknight carebears, this happens.
What do we have here?
Wow, an Indian joked about India. That’s racist!
Wow, a gay made a gay joke. Oh no!
I’ve reviewed the evidence, and concur with my favourite sex pest.
Who do you believe?
These are the good guys?
Miners disgust me.
Grrrr Mittanimanbad PEDOWAFFE hathathat.
Welcome to EvE 2022, where my alliance is stronger than TEST.
I can’t wait to see what happens next.
Cheers!
MoonMoonn loved her Swiss army destroyer.
However, a strange voice was calling her.
“Vum zu velt, und viiiiiiiine.“
So she added a mining laser, with criminal intent.
For a moment, she was the happiest miner in Highsec.
All good things come to an end.
The end.
Here’s the video!
“Eve is rough y’all.”
Hana lost an assault cruiser.
Her friends also died.
Hana was just another roleplayer.
We see them daily, pretending to enjoy losing.
CCP loves me.
I killed her Orca through text PvP.
Taunted to death.
Hana thought she was special.
Her name joins a long list of failures.
Baited on a free _____
To be continued?
Even the best antigankers strive to perfect their craft.
Recently, I decided to level up.
I just won’t fight ships that can shoot back.
Tama is a safe space for my friends.
You are on Team Aiko, or you are trash.
Even big dog streamers are watching me.
There’s nothing else they can do.
Here’s a funny thought.
I literally have no balls, at all — in real life!
When I’m not blogging, I sometimes undock.
I recently discovered a vast empire.
In distant Torrinos, the miners are always AFK.
However, they remember my previous visits.
I often cower in a nearby station.
So they sent their best man, HogTits, to camp me down.
He taunted me.
He brought an entire hit squad.
I was in serious trouble.
The miners knew who I was, and they weren’t scared.
I was trapped, and couldn’t escape.
The miners were mocking me.
They even summoned the antiganking main of antiganking loser Everess 88.
That’s the retard goofus who thinks the actual IRL year is 1984. Like wtf.
This was getting serious.
It all happened so fast.
Fortunately, Krig Povelli taught me a magic trick.
Australian Jesus came to my rescue, straight out of Halaima.
Everybody was amazed.
They never anticipated my counterattack.
It was clear who won the battle of Torrinos.
The wouldbe antigankers began to reconsider their choices.
Everess 88’s antiganking main was losing their respect.
The battle was over, and birds began to chirp.
Everybody reflected on the experience.
One thing was crystal clear.
I have a Highsec PvP alt.
Once upon a time, I did kills of the week, but I’m just too busy. However, I’m sure the following would qualify on just about any week.
WooF! Now that’s the kind of kill which excites the ladies, and gets an entire stadium cheering your name. Congrats to Votre Dieu, an absolute consummate professional, and an inspiration to law enforcement officers across Highsec. You know, this is quite a bit more significant than it initially appears, as many of the items are undervalued purple mods and unvalued abyssal mods. WoW. Antiganking really failed again.
*WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULAR PROGRAMMING*
Miners have a lot of questions.
If only niki lasvegas had a permit…
Meanwhile, VeX1 has been vexed by his own difficulties.
Fortunately, mining therapist zxcxzx got him to talk.
VeX was intrigued by the offer of assistance.
VeX liked z.
However, would VeX trust Gallente Citizen?
VeX was pleased to learn permits are currently on sale.
He caught a lucky break, and got his permit at a 2012 price.
Now that’s a great deal!
Get your mining permit today!
Hey there.
We are the most powerful alliance in the galaxy.
Trust is the most valuable commodity in EVE Online.
If you don’t believe me, this could be you.
Just calm down.
Yikes, never go full Ward.
Oof.
It’s just a game, until you are crying in local, two years later.
Haha, it’s funny.
What a crazy retard.
Like, for real.
I don’t even want to laugh at you.
I can’t help it though.
Here’s an official endorsement from CODE.
I’m still on the team.
That’s right.
I’ve heard that I am to blame for the collapse of CODE.
James 315 knows the truth. I tried to save the alliance, but he wanted to die, so we could move on.
My critics hail from another alliance, from a backwards whiteknight dimension, where the CODE. logo is not orange… but blue. These former fans praise their version of James, a boring gankbear named Hrothgar, who doesn’t even blog. Hrothgar left the New Order, but still craves the fame and the legacy. He uses the CODE. logo like a blue module, which he plagiarized to maximize his isk/hr.
Let me be clear. I left the CODE. alliance, because I saw no future in the alliance without James. In contrast, Hrothgar saw no future with James. His axis of autism is composed of salty former fans, who left CODE. before James quit blogging. They deleted their mining permits, and renounced James. Oh yes, they did.
I was recently checking for mining permits, when I stumbled across a counterfeit. Oh sure, it looks legitimate, but it doesn’t mention Aiko (or James). James loved me so much, that he wrote about my beauty and grace, but he forgot to mention either of us in this mining permit? Puh-leez. Here we witness a forgery.
Aiko Danuja > Why are you pretending to be CODE, with a blue James logo?
Darkside Tickler > you mention all these names…james…ets
Darkside Tickler > but i have no idea who that is
Aiko Danuja > Yeh, exactly…
So I killed the illegal miner.
Whadda was disgusted.
What kind of New Order agent would sell a permit for just 10 million isk, as if it’s some worthless piece of cheap trash?
Do you want proof that I’m the heiress to James 315?
Without a word from me, my alt’s alt can delete your fake permit, and sell the miner a permit that’s three times more valuable.
This is why James left me in charge, not you.
Cheers!
