Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
PAPI had a rough night.
Meanwhile, Aikowatchers noticed something unusual.
Opportunity knocked, and Kelgoroth seized the opportunity of a lifetime.
He thanked everyone who helped achieve his goal.
Miners will do anything for me.
I’ve got perky social skills.
When you fleet with Aiko, magic happens.
What could possibly go wrong?
I even won a free Paladin!
Don’t be shy!
CCP might ban me, but they’ll never ban the memories.
If you are a preteen princess from the 90s, then you love Neopets.
Neopets are like furries, but for children.
I wonder how that upgrade went?
With their identities stolen, escaped neopets fled to outer space.
You can hang out with 36.5 billion baseliner civilian catgirls!
Unfortunately, they don’t like Highsec gankers.
The Neopian Federation is a carebear consortium.
Ajna was weak, but she wanted to be strong.
She did some research, and realized I only have 3 friends.
I guess numbers are important after all?
So she started bullying me.
This was one uppity miner.
James 315 was always afraid of duels, always!
Fortunately, I’m actually capable of undocking.
We met at the sun, where it is always high noon.
An HONORIBEL 1v1 duel.
It’s hard to keep track of all my victories.
James 315 was the most influential player in the history of EvE Online, because he placed me on a pedestal of purified antimatter. When I was just an innocent little noobling, he recognized me as a trueborne Princess of Agil.
Unfortunately, some people just don’t get it.
Stupid people don’t know how stupid they are.
FACT: I’m the greatest capsuleer… ever.
Recently, I tried ganking in nullsec, where CONCORD doesn’t exist.
The bots were amazed.
I’m pretty good at this.
Ganking is a LOT easier without CONCORD.
Apparently, when you play on easy mode, you get killmarks?
Hey, that’s pretty cool!
I’m the perfect woman, a total -10.
That’s right.
I have finally won EvE.
I’ll never go away, I’ll never stop, and I’ll always come back.
From the very first, I was a fan of Rooks and Kings.
A great alliance, with a great legacy.
My alliance has done more, in less time.
My name is Aiko Danuja, and I am an irl space vampire princess.
I am also the greatest capsuleer in the history of EvE Online.
James 315 was literally invincible. I took his whole alliance, the money, the fame, the glory, the praise, the isk, the blog, the house, the dog, the cats, the heroin, the killboard… I stuck my face on it, and the universe is mine.
EvE was dying (again), and I saved it (again).
Someday, they will write the history of EvE Online, and they will observe that blobber alliances were boring and dumb. The true history will be about cool alliances, filled with creative interesting people. They will talk about Shadow Cartel, Snuffed Out, Hard Knocks, Wingspan, and xqtywiznalamywmodxfhhopawzpqyjdwrpeptuaenabjawdzku. All these alliances will be a mere footnote, an introduction to the real story, which will be about the epic rise and rise of one Aiko Danuja.
You can doubt me, but just look at what I’ve done.
I am dizzy with success…
…and I’m just getting started.
BIG
BADA
BOOM
ahahahaha AHAHAAHHAHAHA
BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
xaxaxa)))
You gotta pay to play.
I’ve heard the accusations.
*****
EXHIBIT A
(AKA PROOF OF PHOTOSHOP)
EXHIBIT B
(AKA FACEBOOK GOSSIP)
EXHIBIT C
(AKA MITTANIGATE)
This is some serious stuff.
If you want to report a crime, contact the police. I know what a judge would conclude. Case dismissed! You can submit Exhibit A, an edited chatlog from 2007, but it isn’t compelling. Of course, I want to acknowledge the theoretical possibility that there is some truth or substance to the allegations, but…
Mob justice is not justice.
That’s not cool!
Guilty until proven innocent?
I karttoon was right. I would know.
If you enable spergy whiteknight carebears, this happens.
What do we have here?
Wow, an Indian joked about India. That’s racist!
Wow, a gay made a gay joke. Oh no!
I’ve reviewed the evidence, and concur with my favourite sex pest.
Who do you believe?
These are the good guys?
Miners disgust me.
Grrrr Mittanimanbad PEDOWAFFE hathathat.
Welcome to EvE 2022, where my alliance is stronger than TEST.
I can’t wait to see what happens next.
Cheers!
I hope you had a wonderful Juneteenth.
Here is a fun story to share with friends and family.
We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.
katsuya lost a Vargur.
I always know what men need.
Can you guess what happened next?
Do you think he paid me?
Scroll down to find out (and be prepared)!
Did you guess correctly?
Is vagur yet?
He even thanked me))))
I don’t think vagur yet((((
xaxaxa
A lot of people (nobody) has been wondering where he is.
gibasten13+1 (aka 100percent loot) has terminal autism.
He was last seen threatening irl violence.
Some people are retarded in real life.
This is what it’s like, to have retards in your alliance.
gibasten14 has a stupid name, with a stupid number.
13+1 is an unlucky number.
He loved that number, and I killed it.
He just couldn’t let it go.
So I kicked him.
Silly carebear, miners can’t be gankers.
However, where is he today?
At first glance, you might think he hates me.
Actually, he is in love.
I’m the most powerful woman in EvE Online.
I’m even the star of my own DALL-E storyboard.
Nice!
Every day brings new victories.
When maximus died, I knew he was special.
He told his mining mates that everything was fine.
He thought he was winning.
maximus orelious > you lost more isk than me
maximus orelious > do the math
maximus orelious > you got schoooled
maximus orelious > yall lost more isk than me lmao
Jinx Beirutbomb > Miner, are you bad at math?
maximus orelious > i only lost 57 mil
maximus orelious > actually less cause my wreck stilll there
Aiko Danuja > How much salvage can you get from a retriever wreck?
Lufiaspawn > you’re all fools, he’ll make that isk back in 2 weeks of mining 10 hours a day!
Maximus didn’t believe a girl could kill an Orca.
If he read my blog, he’d know something.
Krig Povelli taught me a secret trick.
I can’t kill orcas, but my boyfriend can!
Maximus tried to bluff his way out.
Then he tried to scam me.
He even sent an unfit barge!
Meanwhile, the other Procurer tried ganking.
As always, I was victorious.
Nice!
LIVE UPDATE:
Some exciting news from CCP!
Stay fit with a sexy Catalyst sports bra, and -10 active leggings.
Our luxury fitwear is manufactured in the finest Bangladeshi facility.
We have a full line of cute summer apparel.
Alpha males can impress the ladies with their own style.
Nice!
Show your pride, with the number one Highsec mining guild!
That’s right!
Previously, the Duke vowed to resist the Princess.
Many wonder about the mysterious lady in flashy red.
Is she actually a she?
Some people claim she is James 315, the Mittani, and Loyalanon.
Other people notice a distinct difference.
Aiko is an actual b-word c-word.
The Duke tried to be transphobic, but it didn’t feel right.
He knew, deep down, that she is an IRL w-word s-word.
Could he resist her evil temptations?
He liked her sass.
Duke had been committing video game suicide.
However, he had second thoughts.
He’d never met a woman who made him feel so inadequate.
The Duke was starting to feel something magical.
He finally met an IRL female, and he liked it.
Just like that, the spell was complete, and he transformed into a simp.
Mining bored Duke to the brink of death.
Fortunately, Aiko retained his subscription.
