Sex – Page 19 – ‎James 315 Space

Friends Forever

A working girl has bills to pay.

I like when men notice me.

aphunmc gave me a great idea.

MarshallTeagan > so if you wanna take care of you permit aphreshmc for 30mil for 1 year we can do that?
aphreshmc > MarshallTeagan i will literally shit down ur moms throat
Aiko Danuja > aphreshmc if i had a billion isk i could stand up to these fuckers
Aiko Danuja > id buy myself a faction jammer and fuck them up
aphreshmc > MarshallTeagan im gnna kill u
Aiko Danuja > aphreshmc can i have 50 million isk please
aphreshmc > k
Aiko Danuja > thanks friend
Aiko Danuja > aphreshmc Can I borrow another 50 million isk please?
Aiko Danuja > Thank you friend.
aphreshmc > frendz
aphreshmc > D:

I would take money from him and his alts.

I love borrowing from friends.

It’s the best part of EVE.

This is how I play.

I’m your best friend, always!

Aiko Danuja > aphunmc can i borrow 50 million isk please
aphunmc > i just spent ALL my isk
Zeroskillzz > aphunmc can i borrow 50 mil to give to Aiko?
aphunmc > Aiko Danuja arent u like in charge here?

I’m in charge of this friendship.

That’s right.

Some girls are mean.

I’ll put a spell on you.

All I want is bling.

Ya know?

I deserve it.

I’m entitled.

Another Victory

Previously, in Highsec… someone has been hunting down blingy furry marauders, snuffing out their pitiful yiffs in a dark abyss…

The EVE community was in shock.

Subsequently, Victor Medvil (a powerful Highsec miner, with advanced military-industrial skills) began publicly denouncing me.

Since I am open-minded, I wondered if this were true. This was my #METOO moment. The truth about Aiko was out! My organization was orchestrating an intergalactic conspiracy of mental illness related sexual abuse. Allegedly.

Reporters were requesting my appearance on the Intergalactic News Network, where I was expected to admit my involvement in sexual terrorism.

I drafted a response, but it felt empty and hollow. Something was missing. I needed to find a way to prove, once and for all, that I am pure Heroin.

Suddenly, an idea came to me. I would set myself an impossible task, a feat that would even impress James 315. I would convince staticfxx’s ~~boy~~dogfriend to calm down, accept me as High Princess, and purchase a mining permit.

Some people say that I’m a witch.

That’s right.

Furry Problems

Being the leader of an alliance isn’t all fun and games. From time to time, I must deal with serious ethical issues, in EvE Online.

I had just woken up, and was alerted to a developing crisis.

Someone dunked a Highsec miner.

Consequently, another Highsec miner (who doesn’t have a permit) has vowed to stop supporting my old alliance, CODE. This quickly became an animal rights issue, as staticfxx (and his boyfriend) identify as dogs.

The barnyard was abuzz, and my inbox filled with messages, as dog rights activists demanded action against the geesebee.

Honkbzz.

Victor left several elements out of his complaint. For example, he was in the mining fleet, and none of them had a mining permit. Come on Victor, you know better. You tried to play yourself as an objective bystander, but you were the aggressor! Yes, Victor started the fight, when he attempted to gank a goose. Furthermore, moments before he was ganked, staticfxx went AFK to “grab munchies” and “take a poop”.

Prophetically, when the miners accepted their mission in Kamio, they praised God for giving them a mission in 0.7 (as they were tired of mining in 0.8). Yes, God sent them to Kamio, and God passed divine judgment upon them. All is well in Highsec.

I initially assumed that staticfxx was ganked for the same reason every other miner is ganked. They all deserve to die. Right? After all, there are furry gankers. There are gay gankers. I’ll even come out of the closet, and acknowledge that I kissed a girl, and I liked it. Oh, yes. Indeed, after I went to staticfxx’s Twitch channel (to investigate crimes against humanity), I discovered another reason to gank.

staticfxx’s boy dogfriend has a bad attitude.

Never in my life, have I been subjected to such abuse, from an uptight hypersensitive dogsplaining cartoon. When I told him it that I’m a feminist, and I deserve to be treated with respect, it said this was a “low blow”. However, it has no qualms about pulling the “furry” card on me. That’s some real hypocrisy!

I don’t care if you identify as a cartoon. However, you shouldn’t expect people to take this seriously. Indeed, the miners didn’t take it seriously. After the gank, they said they “don’t care” about the “pathetic” attack from “108” Catalysts. They claimed to have so much money, they could buy our mom’s house, and kick us out of the basement. Nevertheless, a little sparrow supercarrier began chirping loudly.

You can hide behind a cartoon avatar, but that doesn’t mean you have the right to come into our galaxy, and start doing whatever you want. Everybody is required to purchase a mining permit, including crybaby furries. Welcome to EvE Online.

I’m truly sorry, but ‘furry’ just isn’t one of the select minority groups protected under the venerated Code of Newe Halaima.

While I personally don’t target furries (nor is there evidence anyone in, or out of, my alliance has ever done so), your boyfriend’s fursona is not protected by the Civil Rights Act of 1968. Please note that sexuality and species are distinct characteristics, and if you truly identify as a dog, you should expect to be treated like one. If I ever see a dog playing EVE Online, I am definitely going to gank it. I like cats.

Now, it might be true that someone targeted this miner, because he is a dog. Woof! It is also possible that someone merely messaged the miner, and said this, without it being true. It may be that nothing was said. I don’t know. What I do know, is that I don’t fly a blingy Marauder, and neither should you (or your dog).

Get it Done

This is how it’s done.

I’m a miner’s best friend.

I’m here to help!

I’m the best.

I’ve sure come a long way.

Would you like to know more?

That’s fine, I’m having a party in his crypt.

Everybody knows what happened.

Sometimes, these things happen.

Antigankers are gonna need new corporations.

Meanwhile, I’m doing pretty good.

Feel free to join me.

We can have a lot of fun.

You know what I mean?

It’s gonna be great.

I’m Aiko!

Thanks for the support!

That’s right!

Goodnight

I like new players.

I love to help.

Even my enemies adore me.

Everybody is content.

I’ve met a lot of nice men…

…and women too.

I kind of like the attention.

Sometimes they write Soviet love letters.

They just need a little discipline.

Ok, goodnight!

Simping for Anlions

Why, hello there!

That’s right! I’m exactly what James was hoping to summon.

I’m soo cool. I even ganked a Venture!

Ventures are the saltiest pilots in the galaxy.

Angel pretended to be an “I don’t care” bear.

This didn’t last long.

Recently, I noticed the newest carebear corp.

The recruiter from SICO started his own alliance.

Do you think she is cute?

Cuter than me???

I was a little jealous.

Come on boys, don’t simp for Anlions.

She’s got those hooks in deep.

He won’t be joining Princess Aiko Hold My Hand(((

Sad!

Storytime, Part 2

Previously, on the bestest blog in galactic history… Ann Mari’s freighter was wrecked in Uedama, and she lost 10 billion isk. Then she lost a jump freighter, and a Golem, finding herself stuck inside a vast spiderweb. The arachnid’s venom was filled with the essence of lonely miners long gone, and Ann Mari was exhilarated and titillated by a cunning plan. What if she paid the gankers to turn on their own Saviourette, humiliating Princess Aiko with erotic stories and outrageous rumours?

Indeed, Aiko has carefully studied Brer Rabbit (aka Sun Tzu).

Some people are truly invincible.

Some people always have the last laugh.

Please don’t get revenge on me.

I’m just a dumb girl. Please don’t make me cry.

In outer space, there are no limits.

Anne was shocked to learn about 2020 Fanfest.

However, behind the scenes, Aiko and Rakk were conspiring.

How many stories will Ann commission?

This blog post is sponsored by Ann Mari’s Erotic Aiko Fanfic Club.

Everyone had a story to tell.

Buttercup offered an especially humiliating tale.

However, she demanded the money upfront.

I guess it was a scam.

Suddenly, Aiko saw an opportunity…

Some people just always win.

Some people practice witchcraft.

Storytime

Previously, on Princess Aiko’s #1 Best Blog… Ann Mari lost her freighter and her pod, but wasn’t salty. In fact, like Coach Subway, she’s so rich she doesn’t care. Indeed, she can get revenge by losing more isk – right?

We are always fair, and honest. If you don’t read the blog, or memorize the CODE, or appreciate all the wonderful mysterious ways that Aiko has spun a magical web across the galaxy – well, friend, that’s going to cost you.

Aiko Danuja > It looks like you ran into my Uedama team…
Aiko Danuja > Ann Mari you owe 50 billion isk, so you can pay now
Ann Mari > I’ll take my chances thanks
Aiko Danuja > They are professionals Ann. You need to take this more seriously.
Aiko Danuja > You are a convicted mining offender.
Ann Mari > Necck beards might fall at her feet…. I’m old, I’m married, I’m male…. I just do not care
MarshallTeagan > Princess Aiko Danuja is female i have heard her angelic voice.
Ann Mari > I’m not buying into your lil mafia sccheme

Ann vowed that ~~she~~ he would never give me an isk.

To get revenge, he began sending my alts and friends all his isk and ships, in a dubious plot to make me feel left out. Before long, he was bankrupt and destitute, so he needed to convince his bank that he really wanted to throw more money into some suspicious Icelandic shell company owned by North Koreans.

After getting a taste of erotic Aiko fanfic, Ann was hooked. He needed more.

While CODE. was on autopilot, Safety. agents were hard at work.

Within my Why Was I Ganked? channel, Ann began to execute his devious plot. He would pay for erotic stories about Aiko, which would humiliate and disgrace the Princess, and NONE of the money would go to Aiko.

There was nothing I could do to stop it.

My own girlfriend betrayed me.

Ann was so delighted, he gave Alleil a generous tip.

I was humiliated, but Ann was just getting started.

Everyone had a story to tell.

The truth about Aiko was finally coming out.

Ann was going to RUIN me…

…but first, he needed more money.

To be continued…

Golem Resurrected

Ann Mari found Safety… and the CODE.

Inpendius > James 315 can eat my filthy ass.
Ann Mari > This is a game
Inpendius > saviour my cock
Ann Mari > I mean this is mafia irl.
Inpendius > your code is meant to benefit the few at the expense of the weak masses. repugnant at best.
Ann Mari > Pay to win

Like many miners, she refused to buy a mining permit.

This would cost her.

Sargon Of Amerish > Ann Mari sounds like you could use a warm glass of milk.
Whadda Badasaz > She’s crying and attention seeking.
Sargon Of Amerish > poor thing
Ann Mari > I have brandy and ccoke lol.

Indeed, she began to annoy me.

Ann Mari > Can we at least agree that my boobs are better than Aiko Danuja ‘s?
Cute Gank > No
Sargon Of Amerish > yours are fake
Donatien Alphonse Francois > Aiko is a princess
Whadda Badasaz > Aiko is a feminist
Zynot Idama > im not objectifing Aiko Danuja
Ann Mari > I am a dirty miner
Zynot Idama > Ann Mari did you have to pay plex for your implants?

Fortunately, the Dolphins came to my rescue.

However, Ann wouldn’t shut up.

Ann Mari > I’m not buying into your lil mafia sccheme forget it, and fucck off
Ann Mari > Work, you lazy scum XDDDD
Ann Mari > This isn’tt socialism 101
Ann Mari > Check my boobs
Ann Mari > Have I said that reccently?
Ann Mari > I don;’t mine…. I rlly rlly don’t

I kicked her from Why Was I Ganked?, and she invited me to but hurt much.

Aiko Danuja > Look at you, all dressed up like a strumpet
Ann Mari > Aiko Danuja 2018.06.14
Ann Mari > I have been around for nearly 20 years
Aiko Danuja > Imagine how badly you have failed at EVE, that here you are, being talked down to by a 2018 player.
Ann Mari > nothing will ccome of this….

It was time to give her a lesson in Highsec 101.

Aiko Danuja > You aren’t even a wallet warrior, you are just a wallet miner.
Ann Mari > Need a new brandy and coke…. brb

She thought she was winning.

So she decided to embarrass me with an impromptu erotic fan-fic contest.

I’m a published professional writer, available for hire.

Ann Mari > So tell me more about the girl and the men that surround her? Where di you guys meet etc?
Whadda Badasaz > I met her at Fan Fest
Donatien Alphonse Francois > We met in Princess Aiko’s castle in Lichtenstein.
Whadda Badasaz > her dad is some bigwig in goonswarm
Ann Mari > For a good story, I’ll pay
MarshallTeagan > ok send 30 mil
Ann Mari > ok go

Marshall was the first winner, and Ann paid.

The alcohol was in charge.

Ann Mari > I want to get right to the dirty stuff that all you guys wanna do to this princess of yours…. Get it good
Whadda Badasaz > I’d like to hold her hand.
Ann Mari > hold hands? just kill yourself if that’s all you want to do with a blah blah blah priness…. voice like a … I forget… goddess? Jesus…. I’d expecct anal to be like the first stop

Dolphin Don was the next winner.

Donatien Alphonse Francois > Aiko moaned lustfully as the arachnid filled her up. It wasted no time in pounding its large member against her cervix. It hurt, but it was a pain filled with pleasure, and her body tensed as an orgasm hit her hard. The spider’s venom was some mix of hormones…

It was a terrible story, with a surprise ending involving a tentacle monster.

However, Ann liked it. She wanted more.

Ann Mari > Come on guys gimme real shhit. Tell everyone it’s fake…. Tell the real story, get paid, have deniability…..
Whadda Badasaz > i have a fake story about aiko
Whadda Badasaz > when i saw her at fanfest she was jumping up and down in her miniskirt, grinding against the mittani
Whadda Badasaz > I asked her to dance with me but i dont think she heard me or maybe she was ignoring me im not sure
Whadda Badasaz > his hands went around behind her and he pulled up her skirt and i could see she wasnt wearing anything underneath
Whadda Badasaz > later she got really drunk and i think they were snorting lines
Whadda Badasaz > i watched her giving a blowjob to james 315, and it was really hot, then i felt dizzy just thinking about it
Whadda Badasaz > I LIKE HER FEET
Ann Mari > fucck

Now this is the kind of stuff you won’t get from a MinerBumping post…

Ann felt sorry for poor Whadda.

She read the story, again and again, and each time Whadda received another royalty check.

Ann was so delighted to hear the truth about Aiko, she decided to reward everyone.

Whadda won the grand prize.

I looked at zkillboard and found a recently deceased Golem.

Some people say I’m a witch, and those people are right.

I put a spell on Ann, and brought that dead Golem back to life.

Ann celebrated her victory, having paid my alts to betray my darkest secrets.

The only thing left to do, was lose a freighter to some random pod that Aaaarrgg shot.

Zynot Idama > and nice boobs Ann Mari
Ann Mari > Thanks!!!!
Zynot Idama > np

Women love flattery.

Now that’s how you score!

When you hang out with me, ships just fall from the sky!

That’s how I roll!

Victory!

Kazry

I meet a lot of curious people.

Kazry > this is fucking relaly intresting to me
Kazry > i almost wish i was in college id write a paper on it
Aiko Danuja > ?
Kazry > wel i would try to figure out your hold, leaders generally have a hold on there people… there is the stereotypical strong man, take me for example
Kazry > but i ran with the bandidos for a number of years and old ladies are property not people

Kazry was confused by the idea of a strong woman.

Kazry > so i know alot about leaders from different spectrums of life
Kazry > see im a diagnosed bipolor major depressive cluster b type personality disorder. im very good a manipulation
Aiko Danuja > Are you manipulating me?
Kazry > i want the real answeer
Kazry > are you are attractive enough that you made the dudes that have a diffuclt time talking to females develop a crush, cuz a girl that knows her bussiness can lead a guy around by the nose for years with out putting out

He was fascinated by the idea.

Kazry was spellbound.

How did a sultry little minx seize control of Highsec?

He wanted a piece of the action.

Kazry > i wanted you opinion on what you think i could catch
Kazry > could i take a barge
Aiko Danuja > t2 catalyst should kill retriever
Kazry > nice thanks. going to teach those demons the benifits of paying
Kazry > Do i get a cut?

So I gave him his cut.