Category: Sex

Kazry’s Return

Kazry was a bad boy.

Kazry > i ran with the bandidos for a number of years

He sure talked a lot of trash.

He kinda liked me.

Then he went to the big house.

It’s been a long time!

Welcome back, big guy!

Plot twist: He still likes me…

I’m doing better than ever!

Everybody loves Aiko.

That’s right.

I’m the best!

Stay out of trouble…

Hedvard Gets Owned

Hedvard Vetranax met his fate and destiny.

…and they said I never leave Highsec?

I know what men really want.

To Princess Aiko, Keeper of the Drones
From: Hedvard Vetranax

They want to write poems (about me).

Princess Aiko, jewel of the Chain,
I’ve chased through fire, through void, through flame.
I’ve broken pirates, kings, and fleets,
Yet found defeat where our destinies meet.

The whispers say I threw the fight,
That somehow I forgot my might.
They ask, “Why didn’t the Astero burn?
Why let the heatless modules turn?”

The answer’s simple—though hard to confess,
A deputy can falter, I guess.
When your ship appeared upon my scan,
My courage fled my careful plan.

My heat racks waited, cold and still,
Unused by choice, not lack of will.
The overheat lights never shone…
For fear I’d leave you podded… alone.

What glory lies in molten steel,
If victory ends what I might feel?
Better an honest bruise to pride
Than scorch the star where hopes reside.

Yet let no soul mistake the tale—
Your victory was no fairy tale.
Those faithful drones obeyed your hand
Like knights responding to command.

They struck with grace, returned with speed,
Each recall timed to meet the need.
No drone was wasted, left to die;
You ruled the field with watchful eye.

I watched them weave through fire and smoke,
Each perfect orbit, every stroke.
A captain’s worth is plainly shown;
By how she guides each faithful drone.

So if they ask why heat was spared,
Or why my armor wasn’t repaired,
Tell them this, and tell it true:

A deputy may hunt the stars…

But even Bulldogs lose their nerve…

When fighting someone worthy of their heart.

Until the next duel beneath Anoikis’ endless skies!

Maybe he should make this into a song?

What a good little boy.

Yes, there’s more!

…but why did he set me to red standing?

Hedvard Vetranax > girls make me nervous

You know what I really like?

Songs about me…

I’m the star!


Now, Hedvard just needs to send isk (and lots of it).

A Little Roleplay

Miners notice me.

I’m a legend in my own time.

They often have something to say.

Sometimes, they are less philosophical.

I always tell them to buy a permit.

I think they like me.

I consider them fans.

That’s right.

That’s not right.

Welcome to EvE Online!

…but wait, there’s more.

I will always be me.

Here is some wisdom.

Miners are idiots.

o7 capsuleers!

Bot Battle Championship

=Trigger Warning: EvE Online=

Well, hello there.

People love what I do.

Returning quitters know my name.

They even know my alts!

I must be doing something…

Let’s see the latest thing I done did.

Oh look, another botfarm.

Sad to see…

EvE Online sure has a lot of bots.

I just kill them all.

You love it!

That’s right…

Elie Buys a Hulk

Previously, the blog shut down forever and ever.

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

I recently made a new friend.

Elie would not stay silent.

However, he was rather romantic.

What a guy.

He had a lot to say.

He also had a few demands.

I decided to offer a guarantee.

All he wanted was a free ship.

I put him in touch with a delivery agent.

We’ve seen this pattern before.

I call this the 30 10 30 trick deal.

This is how it works.

There’s a lot of math.

After several protests, he paid.

Finally, Elie understood.

This is a sunk cost fallacy.

Backward Ns indeed.

I guess we are all done here.

I assume he got what he wanted deserved.

Another satisfied customer!

He was proud of his new permit.

I suppose something was lost in translation…

Any last questions?

Any at all?

I was happy to explain.

=DEEP THOUGHTS WITH ELIE=

In LOVE with AIKO

Are you looking for romance in EvE Online?

Shozarar Basa Sarain > you can kill me all you want take my MTUs

Shozarar Basa Sarain > It may be little but it gget the job done.

Shozarar met that special someone…

Shozarar Basa Sarain > Ever princess need someone like me.

Every miner has a fantasy.

Shozarar Basa Sarain > What do you like about your self?
Aiko Danuja > BEING THE BEST
Shozarar Basa Sarain > Whats the real you like?
Aiko Danuja > IM STILL THE BEST
Shozarar Basa Sarain > True

That’s right.

Shozarar Basa Sarain > Just the thought of you will keep me awake.
Aiko Danuja > You think about me?
Shozarar Basa Sarain > Sine you killed me yes. Every day since.

At first, Shozarar tried hearts.

Yep.

There was a lot of that.

We actually had a lot one thing in common.

Shozarar Basa Sarain > So what you do for fun?

Oh, and gardening (or the lack thereof)!

What we had was really special.

I’m the best!

He even named his new mining ship after me.

Shozarar Basa Sarain > Theres only one sit so you have to sit on my lap hope that ok.

Isn’t that sweet?

Shozarar Basa Sarain > Ill do anything for you.
Aiko Danuja > what a good boy

Every man needs a permit.

Shozarar Basa Sarain > We should do a moive night?
Aiko Danuja > you just want to get close to me
Shozarar Basa Sarain > Well yes

Omg, he asked me on an internet date!

Shozarar Basa Sarain > A nice glass of red wine, a candle or two, and capellini
Shozarar Basa Sarain > Capellini tossed in a rustic tomato sauce with garlic, olive oil, and fresh vegetables, served with a glass of red wine by candlelight.
Shozarar Basa Sarain > And if we do are date night I send you the money

Eventually, he had to face reality.


Sad!

Shozarar Basa Sarain > I was ganked yes, did I know yall would do that no, did die by you yes. Dont care
Aiko Danuja > You definitely care.
Shozarar Basa Sarain > I only care about you.
Shozarar Basa Sarain > you like jazz?
Aiko Danuja > I DON’T DATE MINERS
Shozarar Basa Sarain > What about coffee?

Or not…

Shozarar Basa Sarain > And im not a miner
Shozarar Basa Sarain > im 35
Aiko Danuja > ur the worst
Shozarar Basa Sarain > and ur the best
Aiko Danuja > I HATE YOU
Shozarar Basa Sarain > Ill be here if you want to talk

Have you had an experience like this?

I’ll literally take the shirt off your back.

You aren’t the only one…

o7 capsuleers!

=BONUS MUSIC=

https://suno.com/song/75def031-c36d-457e-b847-215fd4c83c96?sh=sCgMOHk4trCKHjEM