HEAVEN WINGS went to hell.
Dead miners gnash their teeth and cry in vain.
Such a sad little bear!
Thank you, caward psyq!
Category: Tears
Super Toxic B
People are starting to notice.
I’m minerjamming.
It’s pretty great.
I’m like a sexy James 315, in Tama!
Same blue background, with a super cute face!
Xaxaxa)
Did you know I multibox multiple alpha accounts?
Oh ho ho.
This is the best.
Ain’t never gonna stop!
Miner Durishaka couldn’t get enough.
He didn’t know what to think.
EDITOR’S NOTE: What’s the point of streaming if you remove your clips?
Transcript, “Aiko is a super toxic b… with an army of simps!”
So he checked me out on Google.
Transcript, “Googling Princess Aiko, and the first result is sex with James 315…”
EDITOR’S NOTE: What’s the point of streaming if you remove your clips?
What a goofus!
That’s right!
That’s right!
Antiganking with Aiko, Part 2
I’ve started minerjamming.
Thusly ended a violent reign o’ terror.
Afterward, Kalypsion acknowledged my victory.
He was surprised women play EvE Online.
Thanks for the free ego boosts, bro.
I’m glad there are no hard feelings.
Station Report: Ikami
Where’s Kalvin?
In ye olden times of yore, the Minerbumping channel was a place where good agents were summarily banned for trivial reasons, with no judicial recourse (other than praying to a dead guy, who quit undocking a decade ago). This happened, for example, when Salah felt Jerry Rin and karma balancer were being disrespectful.
From: Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri
Sent: 2018.02.12 09:33
To: [redacted]
Hi friends,
I’m writing this little essay here because… issues with certain people, like karma balancer, who has an existential grudge against me for no apparent reason. I even have a recording of him calling me a piece of shit on Teamspeak and saying that all Russians must be bombed… As for mod rights, I’m all for redistributing them, but there has to be a set of guidelines…
Praise James!
Likewise, when Lewak became jealous of Aiko Danuja. Or when Super Perforator came down with a bad case of terminal autisms. It’s the sort of stuff that James 315 never wrote about, because he never knew about it.
Fortunately, the modern Why Was I Ganked? channel is a bastion of due process. We finally managed to redistribute the mod rights, by creating a new channel, and a new alliance, with new guidelines for a new New Order.
Woah there, Iceminer, let me just stop you right there.
Pay rent, on time each month, or get out of Highsec.
Do you want to wind up like Mick Barmata?
My fees are very reasonable!
Anyways… Miners have legal rights, under the auspices of the CODE. and your lawful High Queen Regent dispenses sweet justice according to her regal whim, whenever and however the Heroin decides. That’s only fair, right?
Recently, Kalvin Rothchild summoned his antiganking alt.
Kalvin paid 100 million to be unbanned, only to be rebanned!
It is my pleasure to clarify why Kalvin is rebanned.
Recently, a mysterious CODE.-Safety. taskforce went All-Out, apprehending Kalvin’s mining alt. I found this to be most pleasurable.
Kalvin’s Princess Aiko barbie doll promptly began crying.
This went on for quite some time.
On and on…
The logs are voluminous.
Kalvin, I’m gonna need another 100 million isk.
You done wrong, and I like money.
A Veteran Miner
sgtchrispy was caught cheating in EvE Online.
He was botting…
Sergeant sgtchrispy is a hardened veteran criminal.
It was all a scam!
EvE is one tricky game…
Relaxing Aslan
CCP buffed Mackinaws…
So Wizard AslanMiner doesn’t need fittings.
Like an adult, he accepted personal responsibility.
He is a well adjusted (and mostly peacefull) young man.
He wasn’t some crybaby, sputtering excuses and vague threats.
Wizard saw a silver lining, and an opportunity for PROFIT.
He was reasonable, and eager to cooperate.
Wizard urged me to rethink my life choices.
Like all miners, he is a miner.
Mining is relaxing!
Station Report: Osmon
Cheers!
Dest Royer got Destroyed
Every miner has a background story.
Dest Royer came from a rough neighborhood.
He needed to express his feelings.
Sometimes, therapists need therapy.
With a name like Dest Royer…
…you know he is a mining machine.
Why else would loosers bully him?
The conversation became increasingly academic.
Finally, James Aiko asked the BIG question.
Dest is one mad therapist.
He is a trained psychoassassin.
Dest Royer took careful notes.
It was a revealing conversation.
The Miners of Misneden
One rainy day, Alt 00 discovered a miner’s nest.
Oddly enough, these miners felt invincible.
Inspired by the Saviourette, Alt began exterminating them.
However, the miners were suspicious.
Emille Droffer wanted answers.
He considered placing a bounty, but who can kill a ganker?
Could Alt kill Alt?
Emille begged Alt to die.
Would Alt accept the challenge?
Of course.
However, Emille refused to pay.
It was a scam!
To be continued…