Cinco de Mayo

I recently cancelled New Order shares, replacing them with Aiko Points. Isn’t that nice? VCBee 315 thus realized the New Order is bankrupt, whereas Princess Aiko has stood the test of time. How long has it been, since you heard from James 315? I bet it’s been awhile. Indeed, Aiko Points are the smart man’s choice for financial investment. VCBee thus purchased 35 points, at 1 billion isk per point.

Apparently, he had to liquidate some assets.

Bee well.

I’ll never forget you!

Earn Aiko Points

Gyatt Festival, Dodixie Federal Test Center – Stardate 23360

System: Misneden

Today, I am nullifying all outstanding New Order shares. They no longer have any value whatsoever. For those who donated, I say “Thanks for the free isk, bro.” So now what?

You must pay again!

Highsec deserves better. Since I always be best, I am perfectly positioned to provide points for every citizen of Aikospace, ensuring isk flows for eternity. Even a bearpleb can succeed through my grace. In ganking,you can and will be saved.

I am pleased Aiko Points are available for merely 1 billion isk. Each capsuleer must purchase as many points as they can, in addition to the requisite mining permits, travel visas, and/or blue passes. To encourage you in this quest, bonus points will be awarded at the following tiers: 5 billion, 20 billion, 100 billion, 315 billion, 1 trillion, and 5 trillion. Furthermore, a very special reward will be offered to each shareholder who is the first to claim a bonus tier, and annual shareholder parties will celebrate the most generous supporters of Highsec ganking.

In fact, I have decided the ultimate second-place in EvE Online will be whomsoever sends the most isk. I ask, “How much isk do you have, and why?” This is your chance to find out. Unlike you, I guarantee that all isk will be used for ganking. Now that’s a square deal! 

ISK, assets, skill points, shares, and PLEX can always be sent to Aiko Danuja, to finance Aiko points. Every purchase will be formally acknowledged, solemnly honoured, and joyously commemorated on the brand new leaderboard, which I will update once I am done investing your isk. This is all outlined in my original shareholder agreement, as codified by myself. That’s reasonable and fair.

Tee Ka Gets PKd, Part 10

Tee Ka Gets PKd, Part 1

Previously, Tee Ka Got Pkd, again and again.

He declared war on an entire coalition!

When that didn’t work, he started cursing.

Then he sent us all to null.

However, null fearts me cuz I onnly fight wat doest fight back.

One day, Tee Ka was salting as usual.

Suddenly, his friend alt intervened!

This went as well as expected.

Occoner is, like Tee Ka, a weakling.

Tee Ka has another such ‘friend’.

What a guy.

All bluster…

…with no bite.

To be continued…

Cat Sky Goes Hyperbolic

Welcome to Gheth.

Check out the video!

Are you ok bro?

The three stages: shock, tears, and apathy.

Mmhmm.

Some people can’t handle the truth.

At least everything was recorded.

Oh, he’s back?

Blocked!

Go on…

I just want to be friends…

He mad.

Who mines in a Gila?

Blcok blcok!

What a community…

You know it, I know it.

Dryson’s Big Hunt

Welcome!

Dryson is a typical antiganker.

He’s a certified miner.

A real EvE Online expert.

What a character.

He likes to theorycraft new antiganking mechanics.

This is the DrysonBennington.

Our boy been failing a long time.

Dryson is no good at antiganking.

He’s a textbook whiteknight carebear.

Real classy guy.

Like, ok.

He has a lot of ideas.

Bro, what?

Dryson doesn’t like the game.

He doesn’t like ganking.

He especially doesn’t like that I actually show up.

I think he’s crazy.

He wanted us to gank the WuFlu! What?

The boy is all bark, and no bite.

Recently, he vowed to dunk us out of existence (again).

Nobody showed up for his fleet.

Dryson got a ‘kill’.

He urged the miners to fight back.

Nobody cared.

He even tried to recruit a bot.

The hunt concluded early.

It only lasted a minute. xD

Dryson was arrested by CONCORD.

To be continued?


End of an Era, Part 12

End of an Era, Part 1

The incursion community is way down bad.

Quitbears are dropping out.

Will the miners negotiate a peaceful resolution?

Wise old miner Kroaky understands the situation.

It is bad well, good for me and my friends.

Viirilithizu Ward‘s mining alt main desperately tried to devise a plan.

Plan B was to abort.

Line members were sorely disappointed in ‘leadership’.

The clock is ticking – which community will die first?

Things are getting grim.

What will the miners do?

Not much…

Incursion ‘leaders’ are quietly abandoning ship.

Suddenly, a new mothership spawned!

‘Leadership’ finally made a plan.

They would stick their heads in the sand.

Just then, mom died (again).

To be continued…

hey boys

Listening to: Ode to Safety

Hey boys.

Another miner was accidentally ganked.

Apparently, he was leaving the site.

So sad.

Honestly, miners really suck.

The whining is endless.

I hope someone kills them all.

Just do it.

A-i-ko!
Beautiful spark of divinity!
Daughters of Eve, we enter, drunk with fire!
No sanctuary for the miners!
Our magic binds again what they have strictly divided;
All griefers are brothers, where our gentle wings remain!
May we succeed in this great attempt to be the friend of security!
Whoever saw the beautiful Aiko, join us in the cheers!
Yes, and also who can only call one ship in this world their own!
And anyone who has never made it should drink from miner tears!

End of an Era, Part 11

Listening to: Good Hearted Woman

End of an Era, Part 1

The incursion community was dying…

Halbarad begged his fellow miners to perish in silence.

However, it would be a painful noisy death.

For example, Roulin insists upon depressing everyone.

With friends like that, you don’t need any other reason to quit.

Despite ending the conversation, quitbaby Roulin felt a need to repeatedly share his dreary pessimism.

After forty long minutes, one optimist saw a silver lining.

What was taking so long?

Andres was hungry, and someone was taking a nap.

Later that evening, the mothership exploded.

Imagine that.

The miners debated paying their lawful taxes.

As you can see, Zilvra Selvaris is extremely uncool.

An hour later, Halbarad Dovanna quit.

Failure consumed his fragile emotions.

Hawk thus defeated another useless carebear.

Esmute shared her timeless miner’s wisdom.

Gankers are easily bored – right?

I wonder who will get bored first?