Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Even the best antigankers strive to perfect their craft.
Recently, I decided to level up.
I just won’t fight ships that can shoot back.
Tama is a safe space for my friends.
You are on Team Aiko, or you are trash.
Even big dog streamers are watching me.
There’s nothing else they can do.
Here’s a funny thought.
I literally have no balls, at all — in real life!
Listening to: Chantilly Lace
Erik Draven was ganked by the Loot Fairy.
Poor Erik didn’t have a friend in the galaxy(((
Freedom left him empty inside.
Erik found himself watching a certain someone.
He began to feel something special.
This was his big chance, but did he really have to pay?!
Erik wanted to learn more about the High High Heroin.
As he studied her Holy Word, he was filled with FAITH.
Unlike Hrothgrrarianism, this is a CODE. which people want to be part of.
Doubting Erik experienced a miraculous conversion.
He wasn’t gonna wind up in an incel Lewakian monastery.
True happiness is Chantilly lace and a pretty face…
…and a pony tail ahangin down!
So spend all your money!
In ye olden times of yore, the Minerbumping channel was a place where good agents were summarily banned for trivial reasons, with no judicial recourse (other than praying to a dead guy, who quit undocking a decade ago). This happened, for example, when Salah felt Jerry Rin and karma balancer were being disrespectful.
From: Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri
Sent: 2018.02.12 09:33
To: [redacted]
Hi friends,
I’m writing this little essay here because… issues with certain people, like karma balancer, who has an existential grudge against me for no apparent reason. I even have a recording of him calling me a piece of shit on Teamspeak and saying that all Russians must be bombed… As for mod rights, I’m all for redistributing them, but there has to be a set of guidelines…
Praise James!
Likewise, when Lewak became jealous of Aiko Danuja. Or when Super Perforator came down with a bad case of terminal autisms. It’s the sort of stuff that James 315 never wrote about, because he never knew about it.
Fortunately, the modern Why Was I Ganked? channel is a bastion of due process. We finally managed to redistribute the mod rights, by creating a new channel, and a new alliance, with new guidelines for a new New Order.
Woah there, Iceminer, let me just stop you right there.
Pay rent, on time each month, or get out of Highsec.
Do you want to wind up like Mick Barmata?
My fees are very reasonable!
Anyways… Miners have legal rights, under the auspices of the CODE. and your lawful High Queen Regent dispenses sweet justice according to her regal whim, whenever and however the Heroin decides. That’s only fair, right?
Recently, Kalvin Rothchild summoned his antiganking alt.
Kalvin paid 100 million to be unbanned, only to be rebanned!
It is my pleasure to clarify why Kalvin is rebanned.
Recently, a mysterious CODE.-Safety. taskforce went All-Out, apprehending Kalvin’s mining alt. I found this to be most pleasurable.
Kalvin’s Princess Aiko barbie doll promptly began crying.
This went on for quite some time.
On and on…
The logs are voluminous.
Kalvin, I’m gonna need another 100 million isk.
You done wrong, and I like money.
Highsec miners tell a tale of woe.
They just want another chance.
It will never happen.
Those sorry fellows…
Oh well!
Today, I’d like to play a game.
I call this: Griefing, or Not Griefing?
Ok, let’s get started!
Ganking a Venture, in a 1.0? GRIEFING!
Strategic Proteus dunk, in 0.4? NOT GRIEFING!
Wow, that was REAL PvP – are you ready for round 2?
Ganking a Retriever in 0.7?? GRIEFING!
Hahaha, it took six of you? Lol, Highsec trash!
Dropping a Marauder (with spare battlecruisers) on the same Retriever?
Now that’s what real PvP looks like!
sgtchrispy was caught cheating in EvE Online.
He was botting…
Sergeant sgtchrispy is a hardened veteran criminal.
It was all a scam!
EvE is one tricky game…
Yesterday was May 9.
It was a day of Russian PRIDE.
We don’t celebrate Soviet holidays.
Russian miners often have a lot to say.
And you, Princessa, I remember, go fuck your shavern personally!
Dalbeny are stupid, you can shove your rackeeteers in ass!
They were threatening war, and we didn’t listen.
Your kids, bitch, burned out slobbering, bullshit, you bitch, intefere with playing fucking critters!
Now, the whole world is listening.
As it turns out, we are the real Nazis!
At least, I still have friends.
Death to the diggers!
Yikes!
As we travel through time, deeper into the Jamespocalypse, we marvel at how things have changed. Just recently, we learned how the once mighty CODE. alliance was infiltrated by miners and antigankers. This came as no surprise, since James 315 is dead, and unable to govern his own alliance.
At first glance, Alani Prinz appears to be an incompetent ganker.
Code Genesis certainly looks legit, and it follows roleplay protocol, with an obligatory lucky shamrock and an abundance of stars.
However, Genesis harbors a dark secret.
This is a front for Highsec miners, masquerading as CODE. agents!
Alani Prinz hastily summoned her inner antiganker.
A true antiganker, with 0 damage on an empty pod!
Like most carebears, Alani suffers from paranoid delusions.
She fears those who enforce the CODE.
Alani knows she is not a legitimate agent.
She is just another goofus.
SMDH
