Month: October 2020

Moving On

Some people believe the CODE. alliance died years ago, when James 315 was permabanned. Others believe it died a few months ago, at the very moment James passed on. Still others believe it was dead from the start. However, readers of the blog know divine truth: James is far more powerful dead than alive. It also benefits me, so I’ll allow it.

Miners and plebs fixate upon the ‘Great War’, as my tributaries quarrel over the Delve, but they fail to understand this conflict began in Halaima (a peaceful mining system, near Jita). A true Princess never forgets.

Like, whatever!

Lewak began preaching a strange heresy. According to Lewakites, multiboxing is an evil sin, and Omega accounts are terribly unfair to poor alphas. All implants, no matter the type or purpose, are absolutely verboten. Meanwhile, Lewak glorified implanted multiboxing antigankers, who ‘enforce’ the CODE. upon the CODE. Lewak even began failganking on scouts, claiming that real gankers never use combat probes. We had a little disagreement, so I discussed this with Loyal, Globby, Tweeps, and Holdmybeer. They all asked the same question. “Who is Lewak?” Something had to be done, before the alliance was reduced to nothing but weird roleplayers! Praise James! 07

Actually, yes, I just might…

Fighting spread across Lonetrek, with fierce combat in Isanamo. Here, disgusting heretics were besieged inside an abandoned Nurtura warehouse, desperately scrounging for scraps of biomass and stale soylent wafers. Meanwhile, descending from Moon 21, spaceborne Khanid flametroopers rained hellfire upon their enemies. Neutron blasts scoured cities, as machine guns splattered bullets down narrow streets. The CODE. Civil War truely happened, and this permanently shifted the galactic balance of power.

 My, what a difference a year makes.

So, where do we go from here? 

Our vassals can squabble, but we’ve got business in Highsec, and the Summer Hole War is over. We know what to do, and our friends support us. We will simply apply a new litmus test, and this will root out all the closet bears.

PRAISE PRINCESS AIKO, SAVIOURETTE OF HIGHSEC,
AND HOLY EMPRESS OF CODE.

(pro tip: listen to the above on a permanent loop)

I recently discovered Lewak’s new mining alt corp, and confronted him her about his mining habit. Only someone with the honest integrity of a true Princess can defeat such treasonous minery. Indeed, she confessed to his illegal crimes, and (after praising me) was duly punished according to the laws of the Halaima Halama.

BEHOLD THE CONFESSION OF THE MINING TRAITOR

That’s right. Miners are liars. Always!

What a crab!

Yes Mr Cheng

I’m overwhelmed, in way over my head.

I’m spinning in space, dizzy with success. This must be how Nikita felt, when he sent those missiles to Fidel. Sometimes, I briefly glance at my unread mails. Woah. Jump jump jump. My discord is constantly popping up @everyone @here and it’s just nonstop @Aikoaikoaiko. The wallet keeps flashing, and I haven’t answered the last one, but someone sent another conversation request. Primary is the Rattlesnake, secondary Leshak. My email is backed up too. My mom doesn’t really understand.

I’m sure she’ll be fine. She always said I could be anything, do anything. Why would I care about being Holy Roman Empress, when I am a Lady of Agil? So now my mom focuses less on what I might do, and is more concerned about what I’m doing, down in this dusty dungeon. Ever since I inherited the realm, I haven’t really done anything, except whatever I want. I used to enjoy knitting, but now my interests perplex her.

Something just seems off, about the whole situation.

She wants to understand. She thinks mining sounds relaxing, so she might make an account and give it a go. Indeed, she really enjoys Facebook Farmville. She also appreciates videos filled with flashing lights, purple dots, and red triangles.

Meanwhile, she has been reading the blogs. She just wants to make sure that VictorStark Stark isn’t hiding under my bed, hanging out with kage1982 and Rudokop. I think she gets it though. She even made a comment about the Russians, “Those poor farmers, they just want to farm!” Mostly, she’s glad that her little girl finally got married, even if it’s to a dead guy. Naturally, she understands the utility of a strategic espousal.

Every day, actually, and that’s insane. What was James 315 thinking? Also, mom, seriously – it’s miner with an ‘E’. Ok?


My friends have their doubts, but I know what’s best.

How else will the people learn about Yes Mr Cheng?

Together, we can save the miners, from themselves!

Mr Cheng is a helper. Always look for the helpers.

Some people will never understand the glorious creed of Halaima. When James sold mining permits, echobears thought permits should always be priced at exactly 10 or 30 million isk. However, they don’t call me the Saviourette for nothing, and I actually read the CODE. You know, every time you read it, you glean more wisdom. I’ve definitely read it more than you. I’ve read it more than James.

Since the Code is a living, breathing document, it’s not possible to fully enumerate all of the rules.

As the only person in New Order history to officially amend the CODE. of Halaima, it’s pretty obvious I wrote it, and know exactly what all the rules are. Let me boil it down and pour it on you, in its most concise form.

Your mining operations are entirely at my mercy.

It’s really that simple. So when Mr Cheng decided to seek a solution to intergalactic minery, he was invited to attend a Lawton School seminar on space law. There he met Princess Aiko, who taught him a sacred truth. Mining permits start at 10 million isk per year, but the actual retail price is sometimes higher. 

There’s a lot which isn’t specifically addressed in the CODE. For example, did you know, miners are liars by nature? That’s a sacrosanct provision, which is so self-evident, James didn’t even bother to include it. I sincerely doubt a miner has ever been honest about anything. They just can’t do it. Mining is the greatest scam in the galaxy, and it takes a real hero (or heroin) to confront the inner bot. 

They will say anything to avoid responsibility. In this case, Cherry refused to purchase her mining permit. That’s fine. Frankly, it’s preferable.

Mr Cheng might be bad at taking screenshots, and I suppose there’s a good reason James loved his classy little secretary. Regardless, I’m pretty sure this New Order thing is gonna keep going. CONCORD just can’t stop us.

Goofus complains about Princess Aiko.
Gallant sends everything he has.