Every now and again, as the official Saviourette of the New Order, and High Queen Regent of Highsec, Princess Aiko wonders whether she is a good girl. Are we truly helping these poor miners, or are we just destroying their last barge, after they’ve already lost everything in real-life? Is it cruel to put them out of their misery?
Most carebears live in a nightmarish post-Soviet apocalyptic wasteland, where lights are constantly flickering, and they can barely stay logged in long enough to complete a single mining cycle. Is it wrong to euthanize them?
Of course, I am the heroin of Highsec. However, a few crabs believe I am evil, in real-life. They even use real-life cellphones to warn each other.
Most people see me as a fun sexy James 315, wearing a tiara whilst clubbing in Monaco. They watch me take shots of cranberry vodka, and adore my tight leather miniskirts. However, some conspiracy theorists claim that Aiko is a witch, spreading darkness throughout the galaxy. She might be cute, but she’s evil!
Yes, Aiko is a Princess, but she’s also one of those southern Italian stregas. A goomah with a villa in Naples, who goes on ‘business trips’ to Albania.
It’s ok to extort newbros in nullsec, but to do it in Highsec? Santo cielo!
Over on Facebook, there’s a lot of concern about what is happening. What will we do if all the Highsec miners quit, because of mean space bullies?
Apparently, we are killing it!
This is how it happens. An AFK miner returned to their computer, and realized they don’t enjoy EVE. Just like that, CCP lost another free to play ‘customer’.
It was one of those melodramatic Shakespearean deaths, where Fiona lingered on stage, slowly dying amidst the mockery of the audience.
Goodbye, Fiona. Thank you for your mining service.
I’m a winner!