On his stream, CORE. hating miner Lazar us hosted a big giveaway, handing out 1000 PLEX to myself and other gankers. He also sent a videocard to Zigam. This didn’t surprise any of us, as Lazar’s only viewers are gankers.

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BREAKING NEWS
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The once mighty CODE. alliance was based in the Citadel, but lackluster enforcement barely extended beyond the hubs of Uedama and Halaima. Whilst CODE. sycophants celebrate their meaningless roleplay victory, I have led an offensive northeast, toward mutinous Usi. Enroute, I noticed something.

After eight years of so-called governance, CODE. only managed six kills in Auviken, an 0.8 with stiff CONCORD bot protection. However, with just one gank, the much mightier Safety. alliance might utterly eclipse CODE.

Done and done. Sentel Erkinnen’s barge was the seventh thousandth illegal vessel to face justice before Princess Aiko, and the destruction of his pod has ensured that our glorious alliance is ranked higher than CODE. Even now, sullen roleplayers are lowering the orange flag, as troops parade in honour of their Supreme Leaderette.

Some CODE. bears whine, “Aiko, why have you done this to the legacy of James? Have you no shame?” I say unto them, thusly, “Whilst ye were docked up in Poinen, metagaming badly and praising James ad nauseum, I was killing miners.”

As written in the Halaimas (3:15), “Beware of false agents, which come to you in flashy red, but inwardly they are ravening gankbears. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Not every one that saith, ‘Praise James! o7’, shall enter into the kingdom of Hek; but he that doeth the will of James who is permabanned forevermore. Many will say to me in that day of Jamespocalypse, ‘Aiko, Aiko, have we not prophesied in James’ name, and in His name have cast out miners, and in His name purchased many New Order shares?’ And I profess unto them, ‘James never liked you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.'”

If only James were still alive, he would rejoice and praise my name. He would be glad to know that someone has kept the CODE. safe, and he would not hesitate to send me 100 billion isk, because he loves me forever and ever and ever.

Good fight!

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