Author: Princess Aiko

Hello again

Hello friends!

Miners are concerned about the economy.

However, they don’t understand logistics.

They are also concerned about Safety.

Nobody likes a bully.

Unfortunately, crime doesn’t pay.

I don’t want miners to kill themselves, at least not IRL.

I just want to win EVE, but not by uninstalling and declaring ‘victory’.

I know exactly how to do it.

All my friends are here to help.

So you better watch what you say.

I have a very good memory.

I’ve got all the power.

Power beyond comprehension.

So you can do whatever you want.

I’ll find you eventually.

That’s right.

MrLeafs

    
[Cue Lights]

Aiko Danuja > 100000000
MrLeafs > I only need give it to you
MrLeafs > no one else ?
Aiko Danuja > That’s right.
Aiko Danuja > Well done.
MrLeafs > ill come for my stuff now
Aiko Danuja > ok

     [Zopiclone enters, stage right]

Aiko Danuja > He is ready to arrange pickup of the Mackinaw.
Zopiclone > Ok.

     [Aiko turns to MrLeafs, making a sad face]

Aiko Danuja > Zopi requires 50 million to release the ship.
MrLeafs > im prepared to send the 50
Zopiclone > No scam there.
MrLeafs > I’m not saying the scam is there

MrLeafs lost a Mackinaw, and bought another.

In a cruel harsh galaxy, Princess Aiko is a veritable saint.

When a miner needs help, Our Lady of Agil is there.

Somehow, MrLeafs spent more than he anticipated.

Fortunately, Aiko is always willing to negotiate in good faith, always!

100 + 50 + 25 + 25… +5…

+20!

MrLeafs was most pleased, paying a 20% tip in advance!

Aiko truly appreciates friendship.

She deserves it.

Alas, MrLeafs was a grumpy old Scrooge.

He didn’t appreciate Aiko’s help.

He began to lash out, with threatening language.

Suddenly, he began trying to extort Aiko!

They felt a connection, finishing each other’s sentences.

Was it meant to be?

MrLeafs missed his chance, wallowing in a depression of his own making.

Meanwhile, Aiko was dealing with her own grief.

Finally, MrLeafs worked up his courage, and asked the BIG question.

His Mackinaw was gone forever. Sad!

The Proposal

I’m the most beautiful woman in the galaxy.

I get about one marriage proposal a week.

Everybody wants to marry into power.

Of course, I’m more than just a pretty face.

Consequently, I like to define the relationship in advance.

I expect suitors to bring something to my table.

Necro was trying his best to impress.

He really needed my favour.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have anything to offer, except delusions of grandeur.

What’s in it for me?

Alas, his dreams crashed upon the hard reef of reality.

The poor guy had no chance.

A princess does not wed a peasant pretender.

At least he learned something.

Busy in Uedama

Today, we dunked freighters in Uedama, as antigankers spectated.

Most NPCs appear surprised when they enter.

They are perpetually confused.

Did they just jump into a warzone?

Some suspect multiboxing.

Our fleets are rather large.

Miners are so easy to please.

A few bears notice something amiss.

Something seems really wrong in Uedama.

There’s definitely something wrong with the antigank intel channel.

The antigankers just want us to leave.

Why would I attack my own rorquals?

Princess Aiko Hold My Hand

A lot of people are talking about Highsec’s hot new mining corporation.

Princess Aiko Hold My Hand is the place for A1 miners.

It’s one of my personal fan clubs.

There are several elite tiers.

All miners are invited!

My themed mining corps encourages submissive miners to orbit me.

Finally, miners can simp in style.

Just listen to these authentic testimonials!

I also train newbro gankers.

Literal hand holding.

You are personally invited to join me (in a wholly separate alliance).

Recently, antigankers have started ganking innocent newbro miners.

Antiganking fails again! Daily!

Baited on a free _____

True Love, Part 2

Previously, in the Princess Diaries… Jonathan found a new lady friend.

Like any self-respecting woman, Alt expected him to satisfy her.

He was a simp, but also a poor.

Alt was sorely disappointed, expressing her true feelings.

Jon was desperate to please her.

Later, he discussed the relationship with his mining bros.

He decided to show Alt that he was serious.

However, she was not impressed.

Jon needed to do more.

She demanded respect.

He was frustrated, and she was unsympathetic.

How could Jon earn her favour?

He knew what to do.

Would it work?

Alt took the money, and donated it to charity.

Jon was bankrupt, and resorted to sending love letters.

It wasn’t meant to be.

He decided to explore other opportunities.

True Love

Jonathan knows that angels are real.

Like most miners, he suffers from Dunning-Kruger syndrome.

Jon is an IRL space peasant, with low life expectancy.

Believe it or not, there are more important things than sex.

Miners need to pay rent, taxes, penalties, surcharges, and protection fees.

Jon was glad his spaceship exploded. Now he had a reason to go shopping.

Meanwhile, other miners wandered through my Why Was I Ganked? channel.

Jon began to understand the nature of industrialized griefing.

He thus felt a desire to help, but had little to offer.

He was in love, and struggled with spelling.

To be continued…

BONUS CONTENT

Watch Foo-Foo the Snoo!

This salty miner has several outbursts. Someone is MAD (and AFK)!

Be sure to subscribe!

OH LOOK! ASSHOLES!

OH LOOK! ASSHOLES!

OH LOOK! ASSHOLES!

OH LOOK! ASSHOLES!

He claims to be a noob, but we know the truth!

OH LOOK! ASSHOLES!

 

 

 

Don’t be a poor

I honestly can’t imagine being a poor.

Why would anyone want to grind?

Indeed.

We sure love to help these newbros.

That’s right.

We are not ashamed.

Zaenis was recently asked if I’m his IRL wife…

Hah!

I guess I’m doing ok.

We’ve been helping all the bears.

No miner left behind!

This never gets old!

We’ve had a lot of practice…

…and we are really good at what we do.

I love it!

So I’m just gonna keep coming.

You will know my name.

I’m a total diva.

I’ve also got a killer crew.

You just can’t stop us.

Don’t even try to extort me!

I’ll make you cry.

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #226

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #225

If you need isk, just ask a miner!

I’ve heard that Russians have the best insults!

IT LOOKS LIKE A FREAK AND YOU JUST GET BETTER!

When did the internet reach Anatolia?

FUCK MOM

Krig is still getting fanmail from that cursing Rattlesnake.

Be well!

Calm down miner!

Hahaha!

Today is the day!

What?

The MAFIA TRIBUNAL is coming for me!

LoL @ Khromius, if you are reading this, let’s just be friends!

I just keep winning, daily!

I miss you James!

I love the CODE. and I’m glad I moved it to Safety.