Getting It Done

Hey there friends!

As one of the greatest gankers in the history of New Eden, I am far too busy to write a blog, but I make time for you, dear reader.

Today, I will examine the process by which an illegal miner becomes a lawful citizen of our glorious Democratic People’s Republic of New Halaima.

First contact is an important stage in diplomatic relations.

Afterward, we iron out the basic terms of our treaty.

Just follow the step-by-step instructions.

Make sure to read the fine print.

It’s all there in your paperwork.

No miner is left behind!

That’s how we get it done!

Always!

It makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

Let’s just say that I’m doing very well.

calm down

EVE is a roleplaying game.

I’m not in Conoban anymore.

Unfortunately, someone vanished.

He either quit, or he was permabanned, or he died, or he vanished, or he was arrested, or maybe he’s still there, always watching.

Some say he climbed aboard a giant balloon and sailed to Hek.

So I made my own alliance.

Safety. is like CODE. but with more Aiko.

I’m a Princess of Khanid.

I’m not roleplaying.

You owe me money, in real-life.

I am extorting you, in real-life.

James 315 was a nice guy, but I’m not.

I’m an evil witch.

I love my flying monkeys.

They love me.

Do you play Stellaris?

I am the Crisis.

 

Fantasies

Miners want revenge.

Will they ever forgive us?

Maybe they are bluffing?

Will they really take action?

How can they maximize their revenge isk/hr?

What is their plan?

I bet it’s some bizarre miner scheme.

That will put me in my place.

Right?

Oh come on, let’s be real.

The Best Revenge, Part 99

The Best Revenge, Part 1
The Best Revenge, Part 78

Previously, in  The Best Revenge Part 98 … the Second Galactic War was starting to look a lot like Beeitnam, and the Gewnfuehrer avia naali (aka aiva naali, aka Kingpin, aka Agent Anvil, aka lil bullet, aka 140, aka QUANTUM) dutifully moved his headquarters from Beerlin to a cave near Dienbeeinphu.

A lot of people doubted his Sun Tzu intellect, but only avia had the foresight to spot the double trading of Vily, who would soon become the laughing stock of the galaxy when he ran straight into avia’s floodplain strategy.

It was July 15th, 2020, and the weather in Delve was HOT.

After directing the Swarm, avia enjoyed some R&R…

…and he caught up with some old friends.

Occasionally, avia wondered about the rorqual he had been promised.

He also developed a new can flipping taskforce: Safety.net

Princess Aiko used Google intel to keep avia informed…

…and avia prided himself on his own literary genius.

Subsequently, avia attended the funeral of James 315.

Afterward, he returned to his war headquarters.

avia also sent Goonswarm some nitrogen, a spare Rodiva, and extra blueprint copies.

To be continued…

Still Going

James 315 was a hero of the Great War.

Today, his legacy lives on.

As EVE’s greatest blogger, I’ve met so many wonderful people.

I’ve been sent a lot of amusing content.

 

I don’t care what you think.

I’m having fun.

EVE Online is the most amusing game.

I’m the greatest capsuleer in the history of New Eden.

Listen to me, and you will succeed.

This is a PvP game, just don’t PvP against me.

I will kill your miners.

I will take your money.

I will tell everyone in local.

You will wind up on my blog.

What is happening?

What is this vanity blog? What does it mean, in the big picture? Eons from now, when EVE Online is just a quantum reverberation in some xeno telescope, how will my blog be classified in the grande schema of the metaverse?

I think about this sometimes daily, and know that I could never measure up to James 315’s regal narrative of the New Order’s early history. Unlike James, I actually have to undock, or those miners are gonna get away.

Some people think I hold this against James, but he loves me forever and ever, so I can do or say whatever I want and I’ll have his full support, always!

Don’t let Arrendis scam you.

She hates James with a passion, and she’s mortified to realize the CODE. has survived. Such miners used to yearn for James to leave, but now they wish he would come back. Simply by existing, I fulfill the prophecy of Newe Halaima. Quite simply, I ensure that the story of James is a beginning, rather than an end.

I am the heroin of Highsec, pulsing through the crystallized veins of New Eden.

I’m just a vapid little girl, but I’m also a Princess, and my word is law.

Recently, I was allowed to join Goonswarm. I have a standing invitation from Merkelchen, with a vouch from Brisc. That’s right, on top of all their other concerns, PAPI remnants also need to worry about Aiko’s gold-plated Avatar.

I even got a medal, with the explicit consent of the Mittani .

So really, this blog is just a spontaneous celebration of all things Aiko.

Recently, I did a personal favor for Tau AD and the good men of Snuffed Out.

They rewarded me with a pedestal made of pure salt.

I’m truly an inspiration to the galaxy.

Undock, and seize the day!

I’ll see you at the statue!

Broken Bot

After each gank, we try to help.

Chet has been having a lot of difficulty.

What could the problem be?

Can you guess what Chet is doing wrong?

After a brief conversation, we identified the issue.

Chet isn’t a bot aspirant. He actually is a bot.

Whenever you see Chet, you can rest assured that CCP doesn’t care about botting.

Botting is perfectly normal in EVE Online.

CCP knows this, but they refuse to take action.

These bots are everywhere.

This is digusting!

So I’m just gonna kill them all.

No permit = No ship.

Good Luck!

The CODE. always wins. Always!

A year ago, with CODE. permanently banned from the alliance tournament, and the tournament indefinitely cancelled, many doubted that CODE. would win yet another alliance tournament. Today, although CODE. remains a dead alliance, there is a probability that CODE. will win the next tournament. I can’t speak for Kadesh Priestess or the New Order Outreach Division, but some dots connect themselves.

Here is James 315′s interpretation of CCP’s decision.

I’m just a lowly gankerette, so I don’t have any meaningful insight into the tournament. Frankly, I came to EVE because arena PvP is boring. However, I must acknowledge a fact. The New Order Outreach Division, aka the king asked me to guard the mountain, aka Goryn Clade, aka Karmafeet, aka HYDRA RELOADED, aka Warlords of the Deep, aka This Game is Terrible, aka The Camel Empire, is doing a great job.

Meanwhile, I will remain in Highsec.

There’s just something special about this place.

Cheers!

ruhrohspaghettio

Oh dear…

Miners are coming for us.

Why are they so angry?

Will they ever calm down?

They appear particularly vexed with me.

I must be doing something right!

I hope Aiko steals my balls,

and CONCORD puts it deep in her Danuja ass.

P.S. I’m busy.

Stay SAFE!

Heh.

Some people don’t like me.

Some do.

Either way, I get a lot of attention from the boys.

I make them soo excited.

Here’s a little secret.

I like to kill miners.

That turns me on.

Stay SAFE!