Tale of the Tombkeeper

Listening to: Dance the Night

Why??? How did the mighty CODE. alliance became a mere tomb for dead alts, cobwebs, and dusty bios?

What happened?

Super Pleb was there.

As director of NOL, he was universally despised.

Super opened the doors wide, but nobody joined.

The comments at Minerbumping are self-explanatory.

Super was always a disgrace.

So, on June 24, James 315 finally did it.

However, Super didn’t get the memo.

One day, a ghost came to visit.

Before James, John was executor of the alliance. Upon his return, he was not pleased by CODE. civil war.

As moderator of the minerbumping channel, Super was gleefully banning Aiko, and anyone who supported her.

With James gone, forever, even Super lamented the fact that nobody could do anything about Super.

The rest of the alliance was annoyed.

We wondered if Super was quite sane.

Naturally, John urged Super to calm down.

Super wanted the CODE. to be a tomb. However, corporation Big Willies PvP Madness wanted the alliance to be, well, an alliance that does something more than orbit a dead star.

With two active members in NOL, Super was threatened by the success of other ganking corps. He blamed James for this.

James had wisely allowed everyone to join another corporation, negating Super’s status as “cat’s meow” of NOL. Consequently, when Super banned people from Minerbumping, they could just join a different channel, or even a different alliance.

Which is exactly what happened.

Super embraced a helpless doom and gloom philosophy of inevitable stagnation and decay. Without James, gankers wanted new leadership, and the wound was deep. Super tried to stop the bleeding, but he only made things worse by draining blood from a desiccated corpse. Meanwhile, with every ban, Aiko grew stronger.

When he was done, there would be nobody left.

A dead alliance was better than one with Aiko.

Super repeated his mantra.

That felt good.

Super kissed the feet of his dead god.

This is the ‘leadership’ he provided.

Super wanted John to understand.

Super couldn’t accept reality, or Aiko. Clinically, he struggled to adjust his behaviour to suit various social contexts, and failed to engage in imaginative play with friends, continually falling back upon restricted repetitive patterns. Meanwhile, the death of James left a void, which would inevitably be filled.

Of course, everyone was concerned about the mails.

John encouraged Super to gank more.

Super didn’t want gankers in the ganking alliance.

A ganking alliance can’t survive without gankers!

Roleplayers aren’t real leaders.

Super was an idiot.

Without James, he had no hope for the future.

Would you join Pharaoah, in his tomb?

Super couldn’t wait!

What a goofus.

What a pleb!

For real.

Cheerzah!

That’s right!

lol

What would James say?

=BONUS ART=

Aiko and Super, by Alt 00

Baby, you can find me in Highsec
Diamonds under my eyes
Turn the rhythm up, don’t you wanna just
Come along for the ride?

Oh, my outfit so tight
You can see my heartbeat tonight
I can take the heat, baby, best believe
That’s the moment I shine

Don’t give a damn
When the night’s here, I do tears
Baby, you got no chance
When your heart breaks
I could dance, watch me dance
I’ll still keep the party runnin’, not one hair out of place

Lately, I’ve been moving close to the edge
Still be lookin’ my best
When the galaxy shakes
I stay on the beat, you can count on me
I ain’t missin’ no steps

I don’t play it safe (ooh)
Don’t you know about me? (Uh-huh)
Even when your tears are flowin’ like diamonds
I’ll still keep the party goin

CABO IS BACK:)

Previously, we met CABO4EvER.

CABO4EVER > 26 days 26 days..23 days…26 days.. have the time, dont worry:) i amwatching you ALL…every step…

He has a lot of alts.

Morghana Chase > jesus it’s busy today
Mr Lexon > yes pirates mining the Ice belt
Mr Lexon > and finaly thay had a kill

CABO claimed a draw.

KINGCABO > looks like even money to me
Learza Thiesant > Calm down Miner
KINGCABO > lmao you guys are so pathetic

CABO was not upset.

CABO4EVER > up yours, i willlmao
Learza Thiesant > you’re not a nice person
CABO4EVER > YOU ARE
Mr Lexon > dont intimidate me
Mr Lexon > dont y have other to do tha kill defenless miners?
Mr Lexon > probably acording to zkillboard the only thing y god at
Mr Lexon > so there y go, pirates all of you

Although, Mr Lexon was concerned.

Mr Lexon > curent pirates in system
Mr Lexon > I recond the hole corp is pirates…
Synthale > Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Mr Lexon > yes
CABOSOLDIERS > got my rum right next to me, lmao:)
Mr Lexon > Pirates mining the ice belt
Mr Lexon > all you do is KILL defensless miners
Mr Lexon > Next time, I bring a fleet.
Mr Lexon > also you pull concord
Mr Lexon > just need a video on you doing it…
Mr Lexon > your corp not war decable… so
Mr Lexon > there is limit to what I can do…

CABO was having a good time.

CABO4EVER > LETS PLAY…:)
CABO4EVER > 11 ROCKS TO GO
KINGCABO > WANT ME GONE, THINK AGAIN..:)
KINGCABO > game on, lmao
CABO4EVER > HEHEHEHEHE
CABOSOLDIERS > LETS ROCK….:)
CABO4EVER > REMEMBER: I AM 18 HRS ONLINE A DAY, LMAO
CABO4EVER > CABO IS BACK:)

CABO IS BACK:)

KINGCABO > WHAT YOU GONA BRING NOW, LMAO
KINGCABO > FIRST CATS, THEN..WHAT WAS THE OTHER ONE?
KINGCABO > NOW THALOS…AND NEXT?
KINGCABO > LMAO..
KINGCABO > COME ON..
KINGCABO > BRING IT ON..
CABOSOLDIERS > INSTEAD OF STANDING STILL AND COMPRESS, WILL JUMP AND COMPRESS, LMAO

EvE Online is a fun game.

CABOSOLDIERS > TNX GUYS
CABOSOLDIERS > DONT NEED TO JUMP 6 9 JUMP FOR ICE
CABOSOLDIERS > hit me again so i can jump again…
CABOSOLDIERS > whoooooooaaaaaaaa
CABOSOLDIERS > i am beginning to like this game, lol
CABOSOLDIERS > hehehehehehehe
CABOSOLDIERS > YOU R KEEPING MINERS AWAY, I GET ALL BELT FOR MY SELF, LMAO
You Blew Up > i like YOU CAPS LOCK talk… its really sane of you
CABOSOLDIERS > RIGHT HERE
CABOSOLDIERS > EXACTLY, I LIKE IT BLOWED UP, LMAO
CABO4EVER > HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

Even Mr Lexon thinks CABO is crazy.

Mr Lexon > i GES YOU USE CAPITALES BECUSE YOU HAVE PROBLEM TO READ, SO I HELP YOU WITH CAPITAL
CABOSOLDIERS > INSTEAD OF STANDING STILL AND COMPRESS, WILL JUMP AND COMPRESS, LMAO
Learza Thiesant > Its ok. Stay Calm Miner
CABO4EVER > dont think so, ganker..:)


#FREE NEFFI

Listening to: Democracy Manifest

Well, hello there.

One day, the ban hammer slipped.

Neffi Cake (aka Luci Gotti) got banned, permanently, maybe.

Investigative Princess Aiko investigates…

Meanwhile, ISD Redacted was summoned to space court.

Likewise, Redline doesn’t care.

The other miners accuse CCP of international crimes.

Damning chatlogs prove CCP devs are Snuffed Out alts.

Of course, they deny everything.

So Neffi banned all the CCP/Snuff devs from his discord.

Seems legit.

The truth is out there.

Is Neffi going to prison?

No, that’s Adrian Vexier…

Neffi was banned for something else.

Why???

Fortunately, Neffi has contacted a higher power.

NATO forces are on high alert.

Reddits have been reddited…

… and unreddited.

CCP fought the law, and the law won.

Snuffed Out is going to the big house.

Neffi just wants to play EvE Online.

Will Hellmar unban his biggest fan?

This is a paid advertisement…

omg he’s soooo hot

Did Neffi do anything wrong?

Regardless, Neffi will continue trying to login.

As always, Highsec gankers stand with Neffi.

We want him to undock.

Just let him play, and we will take care of him…

Save the whales!

Cheerzah!

To be continued?

*BONUS CONTENT*
***BEHIND THE SCENES LIVEBLOG***

Autism Online

Wow, half price EvE Online!

In Eve Online, some things never change.

Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee….

Lexi is not calm.

Gankers are not miners.

Why won’t the gankers go away?

I finally answered the original question.

ScReeching intensifies…

Silly miners!

Lexi knows how to outsmart the gunkers.

Eyeroll.

What’s wrong with these people?

*Postscript*

*Lexi’s Perspective*

Krig’s Korner, Episode 10

Krig’s Korner, Episode 9

Princess Aiko is the best.

She always blog about ME))))

haha I’m not an NPC l’mao

283 + a blueprint?

…and an Orca… plus a Hulk?

That’s not what I asked for!

Haha, keep blogging space secretary.

Keep going, u dumb b.

There’s more…

I tried Aiko… and she blogged about it.

She loves blogging, especially with me.

Haha, I hope that miner writes her daily.

Aiko wasn’t a lezzi last night))))

I bet she wants to blog me again.

That girl is annoyed, paranoid, and full of void.

Woe to 1DQ

Well, hello there!

All gunkers are groons. Garrrrar etc.

We lost everything in Delve, so now we hide in Highsec.

Lin Sa La had a cunning plan.

Could she spam the gunks away?

Like all miners, she needs guidance.

These are actual screenshots from EvE Online!

The temper tantrum gradually subsided.

James 315 would have loved this miner.

I’m just a despotic totalitarian tyrant.

Across the galaxy, miners yearn for the return of their Saviour.

Will he ever keep them safe?

Doubt.

Oh well…

Cheerzah bravs!

Puppers Gets a Gila

Prince Puppers wanted a Gila.

He wasn’t joking.

Puppers wanted to be a Gila main.

Oh boy, a discount Gila!

He sold everything he had…

…to buy a Moa.

Oh, it’s a free Moa…

With premium insurance!

So Puppers went to fetch his new Gila.

GrrrrrrrrrGROONSgaaarRRrr/

Puppers tried to get around the grief blockade.

So he employed null security comms.

This went as well as one might expect.

Puppers even tried a wormhole!

His friends were happy to help.

Meanwhile, Sargon was at the foot dentist.

When Sargon returned, he noticed the problem.

The Goons were using an isk tracker.

So Sargon cleaned Puppers out.

Eventually, Puppers contacted me.

He seemed confused.

The next day, everyone wondered about Puppers.

Apparently, his new home was in Thera?

Who told him to go there?

Eventually, Puppers just bought a Gila.

Another happy ending!

Cheerzah!

Why?

Why were those miners ganked?

Can you guess why?

Oh, that’s why…

I need dekss to drool on.

No miner left behind!

I just want you to understand.

Why did you get gunjked?

Well, because you are a miner.

Nobody likes a dirty shovel.

Every pleb must face the consequence of incompetence.

Meanwhile, we have a gay old time in Why Was I Ganked?

Cheerzah!