Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
The Von MARK family boasts a starch legacy.
Unfortunately, one of them is a convicted ore thief.
He is a silly potato.
The more on propositioned us.
Gross!
Like all miners, he was a dump of Germany.
Before long, Unterplebkartoffel was frothing at the mouth.
He’s also a Nazi (which is illegal in his country).
Don tu re b uh minor.
Suddenly, the irl Nazi undocked in a ship which could shoot back!
Total Loss: $0.01
However, he forgot to shoot.
In the end, Von MARK was just another spacebully.
Antigankbears spread the word.
Gankers will gank you.
Everybody wants easy AFK isk.
You might remember DrysonBennington.
Our resident theorycrafter has another zany idea.
What if Aiko lost Uedama?
What if Uedama went full Lawless?
That makes sense.
He wants to take my Uedama!
That’s just crazy talk.
Antigankers are not very smart.
That’s right.
Listening to: Plain Jane
Miners are dim.
Bears are incompetent.
At least they are calm.
Good fight, miners!
*BONUS CONTENT*
=Interview with A Miner=
Some miners are opinionated.
I decided a long time ago.
We should just kill them.
That gets their attention.
Young Money
Isanamo
Yeah
Ride with the mob, Alhamdulillah
Check in with me and do your job
Aiko is the name, karttoon was a thing
Halaima for the watch, presi Plain Jane
Dodixie chain, rest in peace to my superior
Probes on scan, causin’ mad hysteria
Momma see me on ZKILL and started tearin’ up
I’ma keep killin’ miners, how you get that trife?
I am poppin’ pills like rappers in society
I gank yo Hulk for irony
Buy another or somethin’
I’ma explain why you probably never see me
Chocha magic like Houdini
I go hard in the belt
I’m a classy trillionaire
Antigankers, I swear they are bottom feeders
Catalysts could feed a village in Liberia
It is what it is.
Miners cry a lot.
They are down and out.
When you lose a game, you are a loser.
Honestly, mining is kinda gya.
Big Strong alliance is a little weak.
So they deployed their chief antiganker.
Captain Janeway practiced her craft in local chat.
Meanwhile, I was busy next door.
I came back to listen.
The miners supposedly had guns.
I don’t mind if they wait.
Silly miners!
This went on for awhile.
Janeway had a message for me.
It was a mystery message.
What a real pleb.
Star Citizen is full of carebears.
Is fun a mental illness?
Reddit investigates…
Are you proud to mine salt tears?
Boredom is the antidote to fun!
Open PvP is a gateway to griefplay!
W0mbat got 17 downvotes…
Meanwhile, Nexx0ir invented in-game prisons.
This is a popular idea!
Scannaer vowed to griev the grievers.
PvP players are fundamentally toxic.
Gankhobos are bad at “real” PvP.
Remember the CODE?
Real PvPers travel for at least an hour…
Gankers just want easy kills at the grocery store.
Non-profit PvP is mere fun.
Cheerzah!
Miners are quitters…
…crybabies…
…whiners…
Basically, miners are losers.
Will they ever accept reality?
Doubt!
Meanwhile, the ISD has a new policy…
As part of their effort to eliminate all discussion in the forums, they have begun enforcing a new rule.
All PvP, including ganking, is officially consensual! Anyone who says otherwise is a troll.
Cheerzah!
UedamaScout advertises 24/7 activity.
That’s a lot of activity!
I first reported Jim over a year ago.
It was fairly obvious that Jim is a botter, because he scrolled up and down in local chat, all day long, day after day… and yet he did not answer convo requests from Taint Licker, even when those unopened messages were obscuring Jim’s broadcast. Obviously, if Jim were actually at his computer, he might pause for a moment in his ceaseless scrolling, in order to accept or reject the conversation. Instead, he would run multiple accounts, endlessly undocking pods and warping them to the same locations, over and over, almost exactly as if he were botting.
I didn’t think CCP would do anything.
According to one source, CCP devs do not see bots as a problem. The real problem, according to this perspective, is that players believe bots are a problem. CCP is supposedly gaslighting us, pretending the problem does not really exist – when we know better.
Indeed, for over a year, this bot botted endlessly, using his Twitch account to broadcast 24/7 automated ‘intel’.
Today I received eleven thank yous.
I’ve only reported one person.
So I checked his stream, where he was doing an automated giveaway…
Uh, that looks like a ban… Yes, he kept streaming while banned, almost like he wasn’t at his computer!
I am pleased to see that he was advertising this blog, when he finally encountered justice.
Cheerzah!
==BONUS CONTENT==
Although his alts are banned, Jim remains…
…for how long?
Double cheerzah!
Haha.
Listening to: Haunt
Yesterday, we announced the death of Bloody Bear.
Today, he came to grips with reality.
He will never defeat me.
So he sent a video instead.
Army roleplay makes miners feel big.
He also linked another cringe video.
Five years ago, he supposedly defeated Zaenis Desef.
Is he actually a threat to anyone?
He added some bluster…
…and concluded with a message to gankers.
The videos made him feel like a man again.
What a silly bear!
I’ll haunt your nightmares
Little did you know that I like fear
When you jump, I’ll be right there
You should be afraid, you should be scared
Out of the darkness, out of the fear
It’s too late, I’m here now
I hope that you’re prepared, ’cause there’s no getting out
Don’t cross me or you’ll learn quick
The hard way that I’m not one to mess with
I got a mind full of mean tricks
You’re all alone, you’re on your own
It’s you and me, who’s going home?
Welcome to an in-game nightmare
A succubus preys on the weak
You better watch out for me
Mistakes were made, you will see
You should’ve never crossed me
Revenge is my calling
Bloody Bear loves antiganking.
Back in the day, he even made illegal videos.
One day, justice finally caught up with him.
At first, Bloody Bear tried a bribe.
Of course, Krig had to confiscate the stolen ship.
Next, the carebear tried to buy a new ship.
This went as well as expected.
He only owed 300 million…
He only had one ship left…
So he traded his Falcon…
Thanks for the free ship, bro!
In one day, he lost all his killmarks…
However, he was already planning to get more.
What a silly bear!
Oh well…
Cheerzah!
