Oi!
EvE Online is a lot like Pokemon.
Catch ’em all!
Every miner yearns for a moment of glory.
Drag basked in endgame content.
However, he let his team down.
Drag considered his future in EvE Online.
I urged him to stay.
Oh well!
Pokegank
Category: antigankers
YAY
Hey-o.
Not bad.
Nice.
Ok, let’s settle down…
Everybody is winning this year!
AFK miners have never been so safe.
We have the best players in EvE Online.
This isn’t your daddy’s game!
I guess that’s another win.
See you next year…
Cheerzah!
Merry Gankmas!
Hi!
I logged in, and was immediately ambushed…
It was the ghost of spring past.
Kotojo doubled my Christmas cheer.
Another happy miner.
Cheerzah!
That’s right.
THE END
Miners never understand the Gankmas spirit.
Oh well.
Anyways…
Don’t forget to claim your FREE quarter-penny unfit frigate!
BONUS CHRISTMAS SALT
Mr Potato Strikes Back
The Von MARK family boasts a starch legacy.
Unfortunately, one of them is a convicted ore thief.
He is a silly potato.
The more on propositioned us.
Gross!
Like all miners, he was a dump of Germany.
Before long, Unterplebkartoffel was frothing at the mouth.
He’s also a Nazi (which is illegal in his country).
Don tu re b uh minor.
Suddenly, the irl Nazi undocked in a ship which could shoot back!
Total Loss: $0.01
However, he forgot to shoot.
In the end, Von MARK was just another spacebully.
DrysonFailington
Antigankbears spread the word.
Gankers will gank you.
Everybody wants easy AFK isk.
You might remember DrysonBennington.
Our resident theorycrafter has another zany idea.
What if Aiko lost Uedama?
What if Uedama went full Lawless?
That makes sense.
He wants to take my Uedama!
That’s just crazy talk.
Antigankers are not very smart.
That’s right.
Look Both Ways
Listening to: Plain Jane
Miners are dim.
Bears are incompetent.
At least they are calm.
Good fight, miners!
*BONUS CONTENT*
=Interview with A Miner=
Some miners are opinionated.
I decided a long time ago.
We should just kill them.
That gets their attention.
Young Money
Isanamo
Yeah
Ride with the mob, Alhamdulillah
Check in with me and do your job
Aiko is the name, karttoon was a thing
Halaima for the watch, presi Plain Jane
Dodixie chain, rest in peace to my superior
Probes on scan, causin’ mad hysteria
Momma see me on ZKILL and started tearin’ up
I’ma keep killin’ miners, how you get that trife?
I am poppin’ pills like rappers in society
I gank yo Hulk for irony
Buy another or somethin’
I’ma explain why you probably never see me
Chocha magic like Houdini
I go hard in the belt
I’m a classy trillionaire
Antigankers, I swear they are bottom feeders
Catalysts could feed a village in Liberia
Down and Out
It is what it is.
Miners cry a lot.
They are down and out.
When you lose a game, you are a loser.
Honestly, mining is kinda gya.
Janeway’s Revenge
Big Strong alliance is a little weak.
So they deployed their chief antiganker.
Captain Janeway practiced her craft in local chat.
Meanwhile, I was busy next door.
I came back to listen.
The miners supposedly had guns.
I don’t mind if they wait.
Silly miners!
This went on for awhile.
Janeway had a message for me.
It was a mystery message.
What a real pleb.
Carebear Citizen
Star Citizen is full of carebears.
Is fun a mental illness?
Reddit investigates…
Are you proud to mine salt tears?
Boredom is the antidote to fun!
Open PvP is a gateway to griefplay!
W0mbat got 17 downvotes…
Meanwhile, Nexx0ir invented in-game prisons.
This is a popular idea!
Scannaer vowed to griev the grievers.
PvP players are fundamentally toxic.
Gankhobos are bad at “real” PvP.
Remember the CODE?
Real PvPers travel for at least an hour…
Gankers just want easy kills at the grocery store.
Non-profit PvP is mere fun.
Cheerzah!
Quitters
Miners are quitters…
…crybabies…
…whiners…
Basically, miners are losers.
Will they ever accept reality?
Doubt!
Meanwhile, the ISD has a new policy…
As part of their effort to eliminate all discussion in the forums, they have begun enforcing a new rule.
All PvP, including ganking, is officially consensual! Anyone who says otherwise is a troll.
Cheerzah!
