Faith – Page 14 – ‎James 315 Space

For Shame

Some miners are displeased.

I have gone and done it.

Nowadays, James is the patron saint of carebears.

It’s funny to me.

I think he would have laughed.

It’s too bad he died.

Believe it or not…

…I wrote the CODE. long before James.

The most important part is the conclusion.

All miners must be destroyed.

That’s what James wanted, when I wrote the Code.

If you are reading this, you are already in orbit.

Chillno

Chillso Ace isn’t very chill.

He explained why.

He doesn’t have to be.

Instead, Chillso can curse mat Otsito (and his family).

First, they will get cancer, and then the government death panel.

As Chillso explained, mat is a mass murdering psychopath in real-life. Therefore, it is only just and fair that mat’s entire family be stricken with cancer (before their public execution). As a man, mat must accept Chillso’s judgment.

The next day, Chillso made a simple proposition.

If mat kills himself, that would make it easier to mine.

Many years ago, the Mittani joked about suicide, and this is often cited as evidence of the Mittani’s depraved mind. Consequently, when the Mittani heard about Chillso, he asked mat to give the miner a second chance.

Meanwhile, Chillso reached out to local miners, including two imperial informants. As it turns out, Chillso is conducting a coordinated psyops campaign intended to convince mat to kill himself (in real life).

Chillso is allowed to do this. Right?

It’s just a game.

Meanwhile, Krig Povelli was warned by CCP, because he is Muslim.

I’m glad CCP has sensible policies, which are fairly enforced.

Indeed, Krig has been cursed for fifty years.

So Hot!

Hi!

I thought we should have a little chat.

Let me explain something.

I’ve got some good news.

It doesn’t matter if you are a newcrab…

…or if you’ve encrusted around the block.

We are going to have a real gay time.

This is a war of extermination.

Justice is nigh.

There is nothing you can do.

All miners go to hell.

GF!

It’s what they deserve.

Just try and stop me.

Cashmeowside.

Howbowdat?

Sup

Hey, what’s up.

People have been talking about me.

I’ve done something James 315 never did before.

I’m the greatest capsuleer in the history of New Eden.

I’m also the most beautiful woman in the galaxy.

I’m doing great.

I am a top tier antiganker.

You can trust Aiko.

You can trust my worship zombies.

Highsec is a SAFE place.

New Eden is SAFE.

Feel free to join us.

Service guarantees citizenship.

Enjoy!

The Best Revenge, Part 99

The Best Revenge, Part 1
The Best Revenge, Part 78

Previously, in The Best Revenge Part 98 … the Second Galactic War was starting to look a lot like Beeitnam, and the Gewnfuehrer avia naali (aka aiva naali, aka Kingpin, aka Agent Anvil, aka lil bullet, aka 140, aka QUANTUM) dutifully moved his headquarters from Beerlin to a cave near Dienbeeinphu.

A lot of people doubted his Sun Tzu intellect, but only avia had the foresight to spot the double trading of Vily, who would soon become the laughing stock of the galaxy when he ran straight into avia’s floodplain strategy.

It was July 15th, 2020, and the weather in Delve was HOT.

After directing the Swarm, avia enjoyed some R&R…

…and he caught up with some old friends.

Occasionally, avia wondered about the rorqual he had been promised.

He also developed a new can flipping taskforce: Safety.net

Princess Aiko used Google intel to keep avia informed…

…and avia prided himself on his own literary genius.

Subsequently, avia attended the funeral of James 315.

Afterward, he returned to his war headquarters.

avia also sent Goonswarm some nitrogen, a spare Rodiva, and extra blueprint copies.

To be continued…

Kiara Gone Wild, Part 7

Kiara Gone Wild, Part 1

Previously, in Aiko Space… Kiara paid 520 million isk for a retriever, but the Gankers Union was bumping in Uedama. So she had to pay another 10 million…

…and another 10 million…

Actually, she still owes 10 million.

Kiara was running out of money.

She couldn’t even afford insurance.

Everyone was pleased.

Later, Kiara wondered when she would get her retriever.

She waited and waited.

I suppose waiting is relaxing.

Kiara spent a whole day, relaxing in Jita.

The next day, she woke up, ready for her retriever.

She wondered when her shipment would arrive.

She waited and waited.

Then she waited some more.

The end.

BONUS CONTENT

Here is amazing behind the scenes footage of Kiara’s reaction, when she realized she was starring LIVE on james315.space!

Ultimately, Kiara was content.

A Special Day

Listening to: CODE. Mix

Today is a special day, for it was one year ago today, that Princess Aiko liberated Highsec from the dreadful tedium of eternal victory. Many thought the golden age of ganking was finally over, and miners rejoiced that they might obtain ice in Halaima, without fear that Catalysts would bump them out of mining range.

Yes, it’s true. I am Aiko, come again to save you from yourselves.

Over the past year, I have learnt much, namely that I am now perfect.

There are many alliances, some better than others, but I find them decidedly inferior. This is a bold claim, but consider for example, the mighty Goonswarm Federation managed 22’873 kills in June, with a total value of 2.58 trillion isk. This required more than 2200 active members, averaging 10 kills per member, with an average value of 100 million isk per kill. In contrast, my alliance has just 53 active members, averaging 40 kills per member, with an average value exceeding 400 million isk.

The lesson is clear, if you cut the bullshit and trim the fat, a nimble aggressive fleet is far superior to any bloated blob. karttoon was right. I should know. We don’t need miners, bears, blues, or keepstars. Kill them all.

I’ve got no quarrel with James 315 or the Mittani. They have both done an equally fine job of trying to manage a filthy nest of carebears. However, as we discussed, I’m done trying to manage plebs. There is a better strategy.

I’ve considered your suggestion, and concur.

Let’s kill them all (again and again).

No traps here, friend!

I’m a Princess.

That’s why James 315 loves me.

Always!

)))

I’m the best.

You again…
Two possibilities exist…
Either you are alone in the universe, or you are not…
Both are equally terrifying…

Sorry, I don’t date poors.

Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?

Kiara Gone Wild, Part 5

Kiara Gone Wild, Part 1

Previously, in Aikotopia… Kiara lost two ships, and needed help. So when Karma offered to summon Princess Aiko, a known whore, Kiara gladly paid.

Kiara Wildmann > what i do for a refound of my retriever ?
Akasha Thorne > send me 220 million ISK

While awaiting the arrival of Her Royal Highness (HRH), Kiara whispered to one of the ladies in waiting, hoping for some advice.

Kiara Wildmann > thats the taxes how i can trust you while i got fucked 3 times todays?
Kiara Wildmann > i´m not unwilling
Akasha Thorne > I’m glad to hear that ^-^
Kiara Wildmann > glad that i got tricked’?
Akasha Thorne > that you’re not unwilling
Kiara Wildmann > how i can trust you i guess you understand that why i´m asking that to prove your trustworthy
Akasha Thorne > I can issue you a permit

Akasha explained that mining permits were required by the Constitution of New Halaima, and suggested that Kiara buy one.

Kiara Wildmann > hears what i can offer if i get my retriever fitted back as a refound i pay the price but idc about the permit i just want my lovely silent peace so long i got my marshal+fitting than i fly back in my home region wide wide away from jita
Akasha Thorne > you will never know peace

Kiara wanted to pay her way through Highsec, taking her Marshal far from Halaima. However, without a permit, she would always be in violation.

Kiara Wildmann > i pay the price but want my peace a long that i buy and fit my ship that i wanted why now aggressive ?
Akasha Thorne > you can pay and have a permit
Kiara Wildmann > thats means?
Akasha Thorne > you will receive a permit
Kiara Wildmann > ok
Akasha Thorne > we will help you

Instead of using some mystical Jedi mindtricks, Akasha merely calmly explained to Kiara what she could do, and what she was going to do.

Kiara Wildmann > what about the retriever?
Akasha Thorne > your retriever has been impounded
Kiara Wildmann > how i get my retriever
Akasha Thorne > we have reclamation agents
Kiara Wildmann > i really hope you dont trick me

Ah, but when could Kiara resume mining?

To be continued…

Soon

Listening to: DJ Boris

I’m a Princess.

Do you have full faith?

I’m in love with myself.

I do well by doing awesome.

Together, we can burn Highsec.

I’ve been seeing signs on the in-gates.

Something is gonna happen.

When your grandchildren ask what you did…

…back when Aiko was just getting started…

…at least you can say you weren’t mining ice in Abudban.

I’ve got a very long memory.

I just love stealing bases.

You know what I mean?

*****

Just a capsule, a pod lost in space, oh
Another lonely day, with no one here but me, oh
More loneliness than any miner could bear
Biomass before you fall into despair, oh

I’ll send an S.O.S to the world
I’ll send an S.O.S to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle, yeah

A year has passed since I did that thing
I should have known this right from the start
Only kills can keep us together
Ganks can mend your life
Or they can break your tank

Warped in this morning, I don’t believe what I saw
Hundred billion Orcas, AFK on the ice
Seems I’m not alone at being alone
Hundred billion bears, looking for a friend

I’ll send an S.O.S to the world
I’ll send an S.O.S to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my

I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, oh
Message in a bottle, yeah

Sending out an S.O.S
Sending out an S.O.S
Sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
Sending out an S.O.S
Sending out an S.O.S
Sending out an S.O.S
Sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S

I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S

Pretty!

Alt 00 has painted another beautiful portrait.

As always, I’m looking good!

James observed, “When you’re a member of the New Order family, life in highsec is like a nonstop party–the most amazing, wonderful party you’ll ever experience.”