Riddle Me This, Part III

Riddle Me This, Part 1

Previously, in James 315 space… Riddle Voldemort was an evil miner, who lost everything when he hastily gave it all away.

Nine minutes later, he began to regret his investment.

Bankrupt and alone, Riddle finally hit rock bottom.

Riddle swore eternal fealty, trusting upon the mercy of Princess Aiko.

Consequently, he was lawfully convicted of botting.

Riddle was fortunate to hear the divine wisdom of royalty.

He thus received a new quest, to fetch 960 million isk.

Riddle truly loved his holy Princess.

What a happy miner.

Riddle lingered in the royal court, eager for additional favour.

Ultimately, he was a satisfied peasant.

What a lucky fellow.

 

 

Riddle Me This, Part 2

Previously, in James 315 space… Riddle Voldemort lost his poorly fit Tayra, and received instructions to promptly transfer the remainder of his assets to Cargo Bandit. In such cases, it is important to proceed as quickly as possible.

There was no time to waste.

Voldemort transferred his assets in haste.

Would it be enough to pay his debts?

Unfortunately, Voldemort was bankrupt!

His world was crashing down around him.

To be continued…

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome Back

Welcome back, Ralliana.

As you can see, I moved the community to Safety.

Frankly, I had a lot of help from Lewak.

James. Friend. You can’t go AFK, and let a bottle of booze run your alliance. 

So don’t blame shift at me. I didn’t want this. I loved CODE.

Super cringe.

Be careful!

He’s literally an idiot, irl, fyi.

However, even Super can see the problem with James.

An AFK saviour is no saviour at all.

He ignored Globby.

He even ignored the #1 PvP champion of all time.

Loyal wasn’t bluffing.

James forced a fateful decision.

Sometimes, we need new leadership.

That’s right.

Many people say that I am sensational.

Others think I’m just a nice lady.

One thing is crystal clear.

The law is immutable.

Your consent is not required.

Thanks for understanding.

Be well. o7

 

 

High Treason

I bring you dire news.

Some miners have declared themselves to be in a state of rebellion.

Kay AllardLiao has thus composed a manifesto.

If you want to chat in Teamspeak, just let me know.

Buttercup Potemkin went deep undercover to meet the rebel leader.

Buttercup feigned concern about Princess Aiko’s consolidation of power.

AllardLiao was intrigued by Aiko’s ethnicity.

He was surprised to learn of her Palestinian heritage.

Girls from the West Bank should not support space terrorism!

AllardLiao loves the newbros, but Aiko just wants to kill them all.

If newbros can’t win while AFK, they will quit the game.

Nobody plays Wolfenstein anymore. Gamers hate violence!

Kay watched in horror, as Aiko continued to slaughter the innocents.

Alas, Aiko cursed him, and the rebel leader became incoherent.

 

 

 

The Wayseeker, Part 2

Previously, in James 315 Space… the Wayseeker is a follower of the Old Gods, a false prophet with a gospel of carebear heresy. Such madness is an affront to Highsec. We must purify the miners in a blast of excited neutrons, and only in this way can Thetans be released from their evil soul.

The Wayseeker was not mad at all, and he certainly wasn’t invoking theological dogma to defend his right to steal my ore (the very same ore that James 315 bequeathed to me). Indeed, as you will see below, he openly acknowledged that nearly ‘everyone’ in Highsec is a demonic bot in service of the anti-James. They are merely inanimate irrelevant objects, NPCs which we have a moral duty to extirpate.

We must cast them down…

…exposing their unholy silicon wafer.

Wayseeker pleaded with me, asking me to treat others as I would have them do unto me. Let me doth say verily and thusly, should thoust findeth me in yonder baleful Venture, then doeth thou well to smite me asunder.

The Wayseeker claimed TRUTH, but miners are liars.

He also became increasingly incoherent.

His was a most troubled soul.

What lesson can we learn from this parable of the Wayseeker?

There are some who harbor greed and hate in their hearts.

I will save them all.

It is the way.

The Wayseeker

Believe it or not, some miners don’t like us.

Apparently, we are hypocritical villains?

They feel it is morally wrong to shoot their Ventures…

… and they don’t think I’m a very good Princess.

Such individuals often worship false prophets.

There is no James but James, and Aiko is His only begotten Princess.

I’m not roleplaying with you.

I am without a d.

I am just a regular girl…

… who loves to save miners.


We witnessed unto a lost Wayseeker.

 

The Jamespocalypse has come like a witty thief in the night.

Even the lowliest Venture shalt not escape mine LAW. Verily, and hearken ye forth, for a WRATHFUL princess be most filled with INDIGNATION and is come to FREE the bears and fulfill HIS glorious PROMISE.

Space is dark, and full of terrible miners.

To be continued…