Double Isk

Listening to: Aiko Danuja, The Musical

The clue crew knows my score.

Check it out.

That’s right.

I’m not hard to understand.

This train is just getting started.

Are you ready to ride?

My people are the best.

I’ve got some interesting new ideas.

Thank you friends!

Chuggachuggachoochoo!

=COMING SOON TO A TWITCH NEAR YOU=

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=YOUR ADVERTISEMENT HERE FOR 1 BILLION ISK=

o7 James!

That’s right.

I forgive you.

You Won’t Believe (or will you?)

Only the faithful believe my incredible stories.

I’m a legend in my own time.

I’m making a difference in EvE Online.

I’ve even had some conversations.

> Oh Aiko, you are a doll.

Many like what I have to say.

I started with dogfucker Don, and then I moved on to the anti-Semite, and finally I came for the n-word users and that CODE. neo-Nazi who keeps humming Das Horst-Wessel-Lied in Teamspeak… Did you know that song is illegal?

Like I actually have to explain this.

CCP knows the truth about me.

I don’t really scam people.

It’s more of a polite request.

I just kill enemies (or befriend them).

Dreams do come true!

This antiganker know I’m fun and interesting.

A lot of people love me.

I know plebs won’t believe this.

I’m a real-life space witch.

There is a force stronger than PvP.

MANIFEST DESTINY!

My enemies admire and respect me.

I’m happy to help.

This is what the new New Order is all about!

Convert your items into killmails.

Give your stuff to Aiko Danuja.

Thanks for everything.

I often converse with the deceased.

I learned from the best.

Praise James 315! \o/

I’m gentle at the end.

Unlike griefers, I have no malicious intent.

The best thing in the galaxy is friendship with me.

I know I’m the best!

Some people can’t get enough…

He’ll be back.

THE GANKBEARS, aggrieved at having no established Executor, sent ambassadors to James 315 entreating for a King. Perceiving their aspirations, he cast down the CODE. The bears were terrified at the splash occasioned by its fall and hid themselves in the depths of Uedama. But as soon as they realized that the huge treatise was motionless, they swam again to the top of the water, dismissed their fears, climbed up, and began squatting on it in contempt. After some time they began to think themselves ill-treated in the appointment of so inert a Ruler, and sent a second deputation to James praying that he would set over them another sovereign. He then gave them Super Perforator. When the bears discovered his simple nature, they sent yet a third time, begging James to choose another. James, most displeased with all of them, unleashed a Princess who preyed upon the bears till there were none left.

Safety is Dead

Carebears have a desperate dream.

James 315 is dead, and salty at me (or so they hope).

Miners are kinda dumb.

I’ll try to explain…

Here is an example.

This old meme charts the tragic lifecycle of a typical PvP player. At first, they gleefully trumpet their existence, then they count isk, and finally they notice all the “good” targets are gone – “game is dead, bro.” It’s true, any nerd can buy killmails, but many end their lives with the nagging sensation that they wasted years. For what? The fate of top tier players is actually kind of grim. They openly question whether it was worth the time, and then they are gone forever, forgotten by the disinterested sands of time. They literally regret succumbing to what can only be considered an autistic obsessive compulsion. #sad2see!

In contrast, things are going well for us.

As seen in many preceding posts on this fine blog, we’ve done something different with the mighty CODE. Safety. alliance. As gankbears, nullbears, lowbears, and wormbears grow increasingly bitter and despondent, the Safety alliance is evolving each and every day. The old regime collapsed precisely because it followed the doomed path of the PvP pleb, but my friends chart a different course.

Unlike our wannabe rivals, we take to heart the prophetic words of James 315. Mere ganking is no better than mining, as ganking alone cannot build a true civilization. Killboard grinding is no different than mindless farming. Ganking for isk is a pathetic and contemptible act, not unlike collecting Pokemon cards. In the end, nobody actually cares bro. All that isk won’t buy you a single friend. People will only care about me, and that is as it should always be, just as James intended.

That’s right.

Facts!

Only true faith can guide us, and what is better than knowing that the permanent destruction of our enemies (whom I erased from history) has opened doorways beyond imagination. For example, what might transpire if all the good targets fled wormholes? What might transpire, if CCP encouraged this by buffing Highsec PvE? In such a world, as we now find ourselves in, one thing is becoming clear.

Highsec miners are no longer poor.

A steady stream of rental income is flowing into our coffers – specifically, my personal wallets. Tune in tomorrow, for another example which once again verifies and substantiates my rightful claim to be the greatest capsuleer in the history of EvE Online. I’ll give you a subtle hint, it’s going to involve me selling yet another mining permit.

Isn’t that the truth?

How to Win a Bonus Round

Previously, we met Manolo Acosta et al.

Of course, I sent them straight to miner’s prison.

QuantumFx > Okay, let’s be clear. I have 5 characters. Manolo Acosta Mr Pitufo Don Sheldon Guillermo Romero and me

Now his alts all have bios.

This acts as a Safety talisman.

However, something was wrong.

Miners sure do ask a lot of questions…

I’m never quite sure what they expect.

I guess they want more Safety?

At first, Blackface Manolo worked as a street informant.

Meanwhile, Don proselytized in local.

Things just kept getting better and better.

One day, he reported himself.

This intel was most timely.

Thanks for the tip!

Fortunately, we were able to resolve the situation.

Mr Pitufo > i pay yesterday for 5 accounts! 750 millions
Aiko Danuja > you paid 150 + 500
Aiko Danuja > you paid 650 not 750
Mr Pitufo > oh yes yes sorry 650
Mr Pitufo > so?

That’s right.

Mr Pitufo > take 100 millions
Aiko Danuja > very well

Another miner saved!

o7

How to Sell a Mining Permit, #115625

Step 1: Meet a Miner

Step 2: Write a Citation (or Five)

Step 3: Penalties

Aiko Danuja > we can do 150 for all 5 of your alts
QuantumFx > 150 millions?
Aiko Danuja > correct

I like to be agreeable.

QuantumFx > For the 5 characters?
Aiko Danuja > that’s right
QuantumFx > And they let me mine for a whole year?
Aiko Danuja > that’s correct
QuantumFx > Okay, let’s be clear. I have 5 characters. Manolo Acosta Mr Pitufo Don Sheldon Guillermo Romero and me
Aiko Danuja > right
QuantumFx > And what guarantees do they give me?
Aiko Danuja > If your ship is wrongly destroyed, it will be replaced at the nearest trade hub.
QuantumFx > Perfect! Who do I send them to?
Aiko Danuja > Aiko Danuja
QuantumFx > ok i send to my principal character Manulo

His main miner tried to scam me!

Cool blackface bro.

Step 4: Euthanasia

It’s the law.

I love to negotiate.

It was time for miner math.

Everything makes perfect sense.

Miners deserve a square deal.

He can pay the rest later.

What do you think?

That’s right.

I’m doing swell.

Peace.

Praise Aiko Forever

Listening to: Ozzy

Welcome to my real-life EvE Online fanclub.

It is nice (and increasingly lucrative).

Check this out.

I think I’m just getting started.

Ya know?

I know what losers cry about
I’m making my own decisions
They ain’t gonna bring me down

I just gonna stay high
I like playing this game

It looks nice from here

All my life I’ve been over the top
I know exactly what I’m doing
All I know is I ain’t gonna stop
All fired up, I’m gonna go till you drop

Why don’t fools listen to me?
Nothing I say is gonna set them free
Don’t need no racist gankbears bro
Too many religions for only one god

I don’t need another saviour
Don’t try to change my mind
You know I’m one of a kind
Ain’t gonna change me

I don’t wanna stop
Are you ever going to stop? (yes)
I don’t wanna stop, I ain’t gonna stop
I ain’t gonna stop, I don’t wanna stop
Are you ever going to stop? (yes)
I ain’t gonna

Level 4 Bonus Room

I met another crazy miner.

I just bask in the attention.

Bro, this blog be powered with ChatGPT.

Welcome to the real EvE Online.

Big Surprise!

Twas me.

Would I recommend EvE Online to a friend?

All my friends play EvE Online.

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Your advertisement here for 1 billion isk.

Chat GPT gives us deeper insight into the mind of a miner.

The waters of Taohuatan are a thousand feet deep, but not so deep as my shamelessness, lasting unto 18 generations.

高安打人丧良心

A Father’s Disappointment

Listening to: Dark Synthwave

Not every father is so proud.

Odboko Atild Sr. was not happy.

Birthday party ruined(((

Even birthday criminals go to jail.

I tried to help.

He just replied with strange requests.

Miners are kinda weird.

Another victory for Team Safety!

That’s right.

At least I’m having fun!

Check out this neat trick.