Where’s the Beef?

Antigankers are kinda stupid.

They enjoy shooting empty pods, and never seem to understand that multiboxers find it helpful. Nobody wants to repetitively click the dock button. It’s actually quite a convenience to be teleported back home!

Haha, now that is some elite PvP in EvE Online!

PROTIP: Stay safe, and let CONCORD handle the griefers!

Even the best antigankers wonder… is it worth it?

Javencraft44Ace just wants to mine in Highsec.

He begged for peace.

Javen bent the knee, in abject submission.

There was only one problem.

We don’t negotiate with miners.

No matter how incompetent you are…

…you will regret shooting empty pods.

You will gnash your teeth in vain.

That’s right.

You might not like me…

…but I’m here to stay.

I’m invincible!

Uninstall is Painless

We want to help.

However, miners don’t care.

They’d rather die than play EvE Online.

They just want free isk.

Broadcast 4 Reps, and take your meds.

I not care you tear.

This PvP freight train won’t stop.

Crybabies must die.

Here’s a video by Sargon of Amerish.

Nice!

Dear Diary

Listening to Russian Hardbass Mix by White Sky

Dear Diary,

Codename Pleb continues to whine.

Anyways, we ganked Hedliner and his Awox alt.

Grrrr Aiko, hat hat hat gunkerz.

Hat hat hat.

GARRRR GROOOOONGREEFEREEEEEE!!1!!!!

Now that’s some Pandemic salt!

Also, do you remember DKslopoke?

Now he’s blackmailing me.

I guess I’ll be banned soon?

Meanwhile, in Halaima, I bewitched the Monster from J124023!

Hey, I’m getting good at this.

Even a monster knows how to treat a Princess.

I put a spell on him.

With friends like this, I will never fail!

While antigankers cry, the people I gank are paying me))))))))

That’s right!

Party never stops
Russian through Highsec
Like it’s Vice City
Cyka blyat
Don’t be afraid of nada
Get ready for the drop
Everyday I drink
Everyday I gank
If you do the same, you are my drug
This is how we party

Double Trouble

Shooting Highsec exhumers used to be a sporting event.

Now it takes fifteen people to kill one AFK Hulk.

On December 12, I was the only person to kill a Highsec Mackinaw.

Miners think they are invincible now.

They love being twice as strong.

What happens when you finally catch one?

Double miners are double salty.

I don’t like their attitude.

So I’m gonna kill them.

This is what they deserve.

That’s right.

You can thank me later.

Also, send me lots of isk.

Griefer Mode, Part 2

Previously... double EHP miners were surprised by double DPS gankers.

Before long, double dead miners became double salty.

Raven x1 had an offer for Princess Aiko.

He is gonna murder rape her family, in real life!

He went on for hours, while Aiko listened to other miners.

From time to time, Aiko tried to change the subject.

For Aiko, this was just a normal EvE Online conversation.

She tried to help the miner calm down.

However, he was obsessing.

She wondered if he was serious?

He went on and on.

She simply could not change the subject.

So she returned to her fanmail.

Meanwhile, Raven was working through his feelings.

He thought about Aiko’s pretty face.

The thought drove him crazy.

He couldn’t stop thinking about her…

…and then he remembered her kid.

Raven is a real family man.

However, Aiko was distracted, reading her mail.

How could he get her attention?

He thought about it for a long time.

Maybe he could find her on Facebook?

Suddenly, he had a burst of inspiration.

Why not just ask her out?

Maybe she’d like that?

He hopes to hear from her soon.

However, there’s a lot of other suitors!

Griefer Mode

Against double EHP miners, I must engage griefer mode.

This is war, total war.

Double EHP miners don’t need to fit their ships. CCP does it for them.

CCP loves their innocent newbro Highsec miners.

Nevermind, I guess I’m the new player.

Raven was furious that his double EHP exhumer malfunctioned.

He was definitely not calm.

Yes, this is sexual harassment in EvE Online.

Antigankers are trashy people, defending trashy people.

‘Niceguy’ whiteknight HateLesS protected my abuser.

This is literally what antigankers support.

Alleil decided to tell her mother.

To be continued…

Bait Freighter

I am live blogging the Why Was I Ganked? channel.

Kethiera Imanin lost a freighter, and she’s not mad.

She’s a space lawyer.

Someone made a serious mistake…

…and there are going to be consequences.

It was actually a bait freighter.

She tricked us all.

Now we are getting reported.

We are in big trouble.

Kethiera is a big fish, and she’s reporting to bigger fish.

What will we do?

Watch out gankers…

Don’t fall for a bait freighter!

*****LIVE UPDATE*****

Kethiera is famous now.

She loves her soapbox.

What a goofus.

Right?

CHAT LETS GO (pop off)

My alliance is doing well.

You love my -10 stats.

Lately, I’ve been expanding.

Highsec gankers are doing better than nullsec titanbears.

We are a top tier alliance.

Some people are salty about our success.

The wraiths are hungry.

Never go full Ward.

You’ll look stupid (and salty)!

Some people gank Orcas, and some people are Bingo cards.

It must suck to know I have no life, and can play EVE every day. 

If you are gonna trash talk me, make sure not to trash talk yourself.

Hm!

Viirilithizu always knows how to cheer me up.

Previously, Ward wanted killmails…

Now, he doesn’t want them!

Does Ward sound like a salty meme to you?

I wonder if he will stop ranting?

I wish I knew how to do real PvP.

Thanks for helping me write a blog post.

Stay in touch!

I’m glad you are content.

Seriously though…

Meltdowns are forever.

Okay?

I have my doubts!

Boris Goes Bananas, Part 3

Boris Goes Bananas, Part 1

Previously, in EVE Online… a miner died (thrice).

Boris was dismayed, because his lesbian aunt is a Highsec ganker.

These are actual screenshots of EVE Online gameplay.

Like many miners, Boris doesn’t care about mining.

Losers just love to explain how they still don’t care.

I’m happy to listen.

I am Aiko, Princess of the Forest…

…and Slut of Copenhagen.

I look forward to hearing from you.

What a game…

We will get to Paradise – and you will all just die!
V.V.Putin

Boris sure trolled me.

I’m a scary girl!