Golem Resurrected

Ann Mari found Safety… and the CODE.

Inpendius > James 315 can eat my filthy ass.
Ann Mari > This is a game
Inpendius > saviour my cock
Ann Mari > I mean this is mafia irl.
Inpendius > your code is meant to benefit the few at the expense of the weak masses. repugnant at best.
Ann Mari > Pay to win

Like many miners, she refused to buy a mining permit.

This would cost her.

Sargon Of Amerish > Ann Mari sounds like you could use a warm glass of milk.
Whadda Badasaz > She’s crying and attention seeking.
Sargon Of Amerish > poor thing
Ann Mari > I have brandy and ccoke lol.

Indeed, she began to annoy me.

Ann Mari > Can we at least agree that my boobs are better than Aiko Danuja ‘s?
Cute Gank > No
Sargon Of Amerish > yours are fake
Donatien Alphonse Francois > Aiko is a princess
Whadda Badasaz > Aiko is a feminist
Zynot Idama > im not objectifing Aiko Danuja
Ann Mari > I am a dirty miner
Zynot Idama > Ann Mari did you have to pay plex for your implants?

Fortunately, the Dolphins came to my rescue.

However, Ann wouldn’t shut up.

Ann Mari > I’m not buying into your lil mafia sccheme forget it, and fucck off
Ann Mari > Work, you lazy scum XDDDD
Ann Mari > This isn’tt socialism 101
Ann Mari > Check my boobs
Ann Mari > Have I said that reccently?
Ann Mari > I don;’t mine…. I rlly rlly don’t

I kicked her from Why Was I Ganked?, and she invited me to but hurt much.

Aiko Danuja > Look at you, all dressed up like a strumpet
Ann Mari > Aiko Danuja 2018.06.14
Ann Mari > I have been around for nearly 20 years
Aiko Danuja > Imagine how badly you have failed at EVE, that here you are, being talked down to by a 2018 player.
Ann Mari > nothing will ccome of this….

It was time to give her a lesson in Highsec 101.

Aiko Danuja > You aren’t even a wallet warrior, you are just a wallet miner.
Ann Mari > Need a new brandy and coke…. brb

She thought she was winning.

So she decided to embarrass me with an impromptu erotic fan-fic contest.

I’m a published professional writer, available for hire.

Ann Mari > So tell me more about the girl and the men that surround her? Where di you guys meet etc?
Whadda Badasaz > I met her at Fan Fest
Donatien Alphonse Francois > We met in Princess Aiko’s castle in Lichtenstein.
Whadda Badasaz > her dad is some bigwig in goonswarm
Ann Mari > For a good story, I’ll pay
MarshallTeagan > ok send 30 mil
Ann Mari > ok go

Marshall was the first winner, and Ann paid.

The alcohol was in charge.

Ann Mari > I want to get right to the dirty stuff that all you guys wanna do to this princess of yours…. Get it good
Whadda Badasaz > I’d like to hold her hand.
Ann Mari > hold hands? just kill yourself if that’s all you want to do with a blah blah blah priness…. voice like a … I forget… goddess? Jesus…. I’d expecct anal to be like the first stop

Dolphin Don was the next winner.

Donatien Alphonse Francois > Aiko moaned lustfully as the arachnid filled her up. It wasted no time in pounding its large member against her cervix. It hurt, but it was a pain filled with pleasure, and her body tensed as an orgasm hit her hard. The spider’s venom was some mix of hormones…

It was a terrible story, with a surprise ending involving a tentacle monster.

However, Ann liked it. She wanted more.

Ann Mari > Come on guys gimme real shhit. Tell everyone it’s fake…. Tell the real story, get paid, have deniability…..
Whadda Badasaz > i have a fake story about aiko
Whadda Badasaz > when i saw her at fanfest she was jumping up and down in her miniskirt, grinding against the mittani
Whadda Badasaz > I asked her to dance with me but i dont think she heard me or maybe she was ignoring me im not sure
Whadda Badasaz > his hands went around behind her and he pulled up her skirt and i could see she wasnt wearing anything underneath
Whadda Badasaz > later she got really drunk and i think they were snorting lines
Whadda Badasaz > i watched her giving a blowjob to james 315, and it was really hot, then i felt dizzy just thinking about it
Whadda Badasaz > I LIKE HER FEET
Ann Mari > fucck

Now this is the kind of stuff you won’t get from a MinerBumping post…

Ann felt sorry for poor Whadda.

She read the story, again and again, and each time Whadda received another royalty check.

Ann was so delighted to hear the truth about Aiko, she decided to reward everyone.

Whadda won the grand prize.

I looked at zkillboard and found a recently deceased Golem.

Some people say I’m a witch, and those people are right.

I put a spell on Ann, and brought that dead Golem back to life.

Ann celebrated her victory, having paid my alts to betray my darkest secrets.

The only thing left to do, was lose a freighter to some random pod that Aaaarrgg shot.

Zynot Idama > and nice boobs Ann Mari
Ann Mari > Thanks!!!!
Zynot Idama > np

Women love flattery.

Now that’s how you score!

When you hang out with me, ships just fall from the sky!

That’s how I roll!

Victory!

Kazry

I meet a lot of curious people.

Kazry > this is fucking relaly intresting to me
Kazry > i almost wish i was in college id write a paper on it
Aiko Danuja > ?
Kazry > wel i would try to figure out your hold, leaders generally have a hold on there people… there is the stereotypical strong man, take me for example
Kazry > but i ran with the bandidos for a number of years and old ladies are property not people

Kazry was confused by the idea of a strong woman.

Kazry > so i know alot about leaders from different spectrums of life
Kazry > see im a diagnosed bipolor major depressive cluster b type personality disorder. im very good a manipulation
Aiko Danuja > Are you manipulating me?
Kazry > i want the real answeer
Kazry > are you are attractive enough that you made the dudes that have a diffuclt time talking to females develop a crush, cuz a girl that knows her bussiness can lead a guy around by the nose for years with out putting out

He was fascinated by the idea.

Kazry was spellbound.

How did a sultry little minx seize control of Highsec?

He wanted a piece of the action.

Kazry > i wanted you opinion on what you think i could catch
Kazry > could i take a barge
Aiko Danuja > t2 catalyst should kill retriever
Kazry > nice thanks. going to teach those demons the benifits of paying
Kazry > Do i get a cut?

So I gave him his cut.

Kazry is now a changed man.

He tries to appear strong….

…but roleplays as a salty betamale.

Of course, he pretends to be chill.

Regardless, he likes me more than his own wife.

Silly Kazry.

He thinks we are like the mafia.

He thinks we are a cult.

Why would anyone worship a mere femoid?

How did a woman became so empowered?

Suddenly, he realized…

I’m the most beautiful woman in the galaxy…

…and I’m friends with his wife.

The Law

Mining is illegal.

Highsec is a SAFE space for gankers.

The bots will be removed from New Eden.

Highsec is a SAFE space for Goons.

I am the Princess Aiko.

I offer full SRP to all who obey the LAW.

Apply today!

Service guarantees citizenship!

Would you like to know more?

Together, we can save the miners from themselves.

Cheers!

Stone Soup

The Safety. alliance is the best alliance ever.

Everybody brings a little salt to the table.

Together, we make it work.

Our alliance is the only one to have a blog about whiny miners.

We have the only blog that features ME.

Support me and thrive.

Cross me and die.

Together, we will enforce the LAW.

I look forward to meeting you!

Be well.

Sup

Hey, what’s up.

People have been talking about me.

I’ve done something James 315 never did before.

I’m the greatest capsuleer in the history of New Eden.

I’m also the most beautiful woman in the galaxy.

I’m doing great.

I am a top tier antiganker.

You can trust Aiko.

You can trust my worship zombies.

Highsec is a SAFE place.

New Eden is SAFE.

Feel free to join us.

Service guarantees citizenship.

Enjoy!

Tainted

Cersei shot a miner.

An alt was apparently aggrieved.

This miner doesn’t like Cersei, or me.

He knew Cersei was either old…

…or young?

Regardless, he questioned her virgin honour.

Does EVE Online have any fair fights?

Why doesn’t Cersei go back to nullsec?

Why would anyone want to shoot Highsec miners?

The miner was beginning to contemplate his loss.

Perhaps Cersei offers SRP?

The miner was willing to negotiate.

However, Cersei had a tough counter-offer.

The situation was bleak.

It was time for threats.

It was time to get serious.

This is why we shoot miners.

This is the content they deserve.

Also, it’s kind of amusing.

The miners seem to enjoy it.

They just need a friend.

Someone who can help them stay calm.

07 James 315, wherever you are.

As for Nabalug, he was content.

So he decided to check out Zaenis Desef’s twitch stream.

HateleSS against Ganking

It’s a dark and stormy night.

Let’s watch YouTube!

One of the most important tasks facing a Saviour or Saviourette of Highsec, is the sacred duty to save Highsec (by defending ganking). Frequently, carebear crusaders portray ganking as unbalanced, overpowered, or as some variant of griefing, bullying, harassment, or unfair plane. Recently, after being bumped, HateleSS has posited himself as a modern day Ripard Teg, railing against the nefarious evils of gankerdom.

“What I want to talk about today is suicide ganking. What they actually look like, and what they actually are.” Even though HateleSS is a miner, he claims special insight into a community of people who do something other than mine all day. How does he have such knowledge? It’s simple, he got bumped, and he even tried to convince me to gank someone that was shooting ‘his’ rats. He ‘knows’ us.

“I’m gonna show off a couple of occurrences where I kinda came out on top.” Yes, ganking is totally unbalanced, but ‘ol HateleSS knows a few tricks that will help YOU, dear reader, to come out ahead of those overpowered griefers.

“I’m not gonna speak about my feelings on, uh… actually I will… but I’m not gonna speak about my feelings on game balance.” UH huh.

“I do believe that ganking should exist in the game, however… I believe firmly that suicide ganking relies very strongly in favour of the ganker…” If you are looking to become a carebear leader yourself, note how Hateless retains his cool status by endorsing the idea of ganking, before arguing that ganking needs one more nerf.

“Right now there is no consequence to suicide ganking…” That’s right. Nevermind the fact that gank ships explode, even if the gank succeeds, and nevermind that gankers are chased by faction police, antigankers, and random passersby. They also have active killrights, and can’t mine in Highsec. There are no consequences!  

“I find the best response you can have is to say good fight!” Hateless thinks he is virtue signalling atop a viper’s nest, but if he actually read the CODE. he would realize this was the whole point to begin with. Gankers might laugh at salty miners, they might even enjoy the tears, but all gankers really want is for miners to calm down.

“I know that you are frustrated, angry, upset, irritated, outraged, whatever you want to call it. But as long as you don’t send that through the keyboard…” HateleSS urges miners to channel their rage in another direction, but James 315 knew this would inevitably be directed at children and stray cats. It’s better to rage in-game, just let it out, and the gankers will listen. If you can’t calm down in real-life, it’s unhealthy to stifle it. Trust me, the gankers will always listen. We are here to help!

“…more often than not, they won’t come back. The people that do this, do it purely to get a reaction out of you.” This is just false. We will gank a target day after day, even if they say nothing. Just ask Gruzilka, the Highsec mining bot.

“They’ll initially target you for the profit…” HateleSS envisons gankers who are greedy for quick isk, but settle instead for emotional drama. In fact, gankers just want you dead. They don’t care about the isk, or the emotions. Sure, they are vaguely aware of these things, but fundamentally they just want to enforce the law. You are trespassing, you are illegal, you are a criminal – the gankers are here to put you down.

“They’ll target marauders, just because people are more likely to get upset or angry…” Wrong! We target illegal marauders, because they are marauding our High Security zone. We also shoot Ventures! Who would cry about a Venture?

“If you have an alt next door, you can see them. If you watch local, you can see them pop into local. If you watch D-Scan… if you pay attention to your ship. You can be aware.” This is true, but it runs counter to the argument that ganking is overpowered. The fact of the matter is that the vast majority of players are ganked whilst AFK. If you aren’t AFK, it’s pretty goshdarn easy to warp away.

“They can cause you harm, unless you are being protected by others…” HateleSS tells an endearing story about the time his family was stalked by a ganking cougar. He doesn’t seem to recognize the main lesson of this story, which is that miners are perfectly capable of forming self-defense fleets. This does require social skills.

“The ganking game is fought before they ever land on your head.” There is some truth to this, but it doesn’t reflect poorly on gankers. Erwin Rommel, the German Field Marshal, observed that battles are decided before the first shot is fired. This is common sense. It is irrational to take unnecessary risks, and competent individuals ascertain a likely outcome before taking action. Gankers generally succeed because they know when they can succeed, and they logically avoid failure. Furthermore, there actually are things you can do once the gank fleet lands, but I’m not here to provide tips.

*****

HateleSS proceeds to play two short clips in which he manages to avoid being ganked. In the first video, he “moonwalks” away, and in the second he manages to survive an attack. Both of these contradict his thesis that ganking is over-powered. Curiously, he ignores consequences to the gankers, who lost ships, time, and isk.

“I lost a Noctis the other day… I wasn’t paying attention.” There’s the issue. If you aren’t paying attention, you are far more likely to get ganked.

*****

Ultimately, HateleSS appears to have talked himself out of his own argument, at least for now. The video started off with an edgy vibe, revealing the gritty truth about space griefers and the unbalanced nature of ganking. However, the longer HateleSS talked, the more he thought about all the times he wasn’t ganked. He remembered how his family evaded a cougar. He recalled how gankers landed on his head, and he escaped… again and again. He looked at his cat, and shook his finger, “You naughty griefer!”

Ultimately, despite his claims, HateleSS offered no evidence that gankers are evil bullies, nor did he demonstrate that ganking is over-powered.

***AIKO THOUGHTS***

HateleSS, if you are so interested in ganking, why don’t you try it?

What is your real agenda here?

Here’s a fun video!

See you next time HateleSS!

Getting It Done

Hey there friends!

As one of the greatest gankers in the history of New Eden, I am far too busy to write a blog, but I make time for you, dear reader.

Today, I will examine the process by which an illegal miner becomes a lawful citizen of our glorious Democratic People’s Republic of New Halaima.

First contact is an important stage in diplomatic relations.

Afterward, we iron out the basic terms of our treaty.

Just follow the step-by-step instructions.

Make sure to read the fine print.

It’s all there in your paperwork.

No miner is left behind!

That’s how we get it done!

Always!

It makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

Let’s just say that I’m doing very well.

calm down

EVE is a roleplaying game.

I’m not in Conoban anymore.

Unfortunately, someone vanished.

He either quit, or he was permabanned, or he died, or he vanished, or he was arrested, or maybe he’s still there, always watching.

Some say he climbed aboard a giant balloon and sailed to Hek.

So I made my own alliance.

Safety. is like CODE. but with more Aiko.

I’m a Princess of Khanid.

I’m not roleplaying.

You owe me money, in real-life.

I am extorting you, in real-life.

James 315 was a nice guy, but I’m not.

I’m an evil witch.

I love my flying monkeys.

They love me.

Do you play Stellaris?

I am the Crisis.