Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
I guess it’s that time of year.
That’s right.
That’s also right.
Of course, some people lack holiday spirit.
What are your New Year’s resolutions?
I’m probably gonna have fun.
I even learned a cute new spell.
Cheerzahcadabbra!
Another happy miner.
I love to help.
xD
Where will he go next?
Smart miners stay docked.
Stupid miners get dunked.
That’s your only warning.
Some miners notice me.
Most of them are AFK.
A few honor my presence.
They even follow me.
Where will I go next?
Wherever the spirit takes me!
Glenduil is a SAFE miner.
CCP gave him a carebear buff, and he feels like a boss.
He put on max shields, and removed the mining gear.
Cool fit bro.
In EvE Online, mining barges have more hitpoints than warships.
Glenduil was excited to earn 1-2 cents an hour.
One day, he met some friendly gankers!
They declined to gank his max tank bait.
Gelnduil is nearly invincible in his Highsec poverty fit.
Let’s tune in to local chat.
Ganker spy Learza congratulated Glenduil on his minimal yield.
Nah, it’s fine bro, just mine like that.
Glenduil was flummoxed.
His minimum yield zero product fit is encouraged.
Glenduil won a few pennies for his time and effort.
Carebears can survive indefinitely in an 0.8.
I hope Glenduil has fun!
He sure isn’t getting rich.
=BREAKING NEWS=
Faramir had a problem.
His buddy Boromir was dead.
Now Faramir was under arrest.
He owed a lot of isk.
He even tried to scam Jesus!
Too little, too late.
Mine around and find out.
Oh well.
Another happy ending in EvE Online.
Miners often encounter gankers.
They especially notice me.
I am in the zone.
I try to give them what they want.
They like that.
Sometimes, they get a little upset.
They are frustrated with their lack of progress.
That’s fine with me.
I’m a princess.
Cya!
This story begins in outer space.
Newbro Rais Wilding mined around, and found out.
Mining wasn’t very fun.
Fortunately, Safety officers intervened.
After his arrest, Rais gave a speech.
He urged other miners to obey the law.
Rais is now a motivational speaker.
Cheerzah!
That’s right.
Oh, hey there.
I know.
Everybody loves to meet me.
Everyone has their own emotional experience.
What is your story?
Well, ok then.
I sahut you.
o7 capsuleers!
Aiden Vail is a mining man.
Unfortunately, he fell behind on rent.
Consequently, he needs a new ship.
Fortunately, it was Black Friday!
He was a real ice aspirant.
Cool story bro!
Another 2007 newbro.
I naturally established an empathetic rapport.
This is a useful ability.
“The target must succeed on a DC 17 Wisdom saving throw or be charmed. The charmed target regards the vampire as a trusted friend, and is a willing target.”
“Harlots can be both brazen strumpets and haughty courtesans. In addition to the usual fare, the harlot is 15% likely to make something up, and 20% likely to be a thief.
Trust is the basis of every relationship.
Another satisfied customer.
I’m such a good soul.
That’s right.
PRO TIP: Jita has several unique stations!
Somehow, he discovered the blog.
I love to help.
He’s trying to scam me!
I’ve been here before.
It’s just basic math.
Vail asked his new friend for advice.
That’s right.
I explained everything.
That’s the best minigame in EvE Online.
Sad ending…
Life is full of new experiences.
Cheerzah!
Listening to: CASTOLE RADIO
It’s no secret.
We were in CODE, and they weren’t.
They were are mad at James 315.
I call them gankbears.
After James died, it was time to take out the trash.
So we got rid of Hrothgar Nilsson.
However, he made his own alliance, pretending to be us.
Like, for real bro.
James called them ‘former fans’.
[ 2017.03.24 22:58:46 ]
Hrothgar Nilsson > i’m about to go mining.
Hrothgar Nilsson > undocking in my mining ship. gank away.
Hrothgar Nilsson > these are not competing professions
Hrothgar Nilsson > the whole is greater than the sum of its part. Null-sec F1 monkey + agent, or miner + agent, or station trader + agent….. you get better at both by being both
Hrothgar Nilsson > i have successfully baited half a dozen concordokkens
Hrothgar runs a mining alliance.
Sad, but true.
Weird, but true.
So I accepted his challenge.
Doctor Zarkov > i made billions that is just a minoe drawback
AFK carebears aren’t real gankers.
They use their character bio as a blog?
xD
Gankbears just grind for isk.
I PvP for fun.
He didn’t want that pod anyways!
Here’s another Plebbo scout.
GF!
That’s right.
That’s right!
First, chat with a miner.
I like to be direct.
He didn’t take the hint.
Mine around and find out!
PLOT TWIST: That’s just my alt.
So the miner contacted a supervisor…
“No miner can be lawfully ganked unless they are given a full advance warning, with a 60 second truce allowing them to dock up safely.”
No warning, in my Halaima?
He was informed, but ok…
I keep my Highsec safe.
I value my friends.
I love to help.
This is a good racket.
What a great space job.
That’s right.
Read all about it!
That’s right…
Everything according to plan.
Just another day in EvE Online.
Amazing content.
My ‘friend’ never corrected me.
In fact, the little parrot was scamming me.
Everyone loves a free SRP.
They apparently see it coming.
I play the game my way.
This is not my first time.
It adds up.
It works!
=BONUS ROUND=
I almost forgot.
Nobody likes a delinquent miner.
A few moments later…
Another satisfied customer.
=POSTSCRIPT=
Eventually, Andreska bought a new ship…
It never reached the ice.
xD
=THE END=
